heartbroken-

2010-08-04T00:57:00.003+08:00

i realise the reason i stop blogging is because i think i don't need to tell people what i do and what happens to me everyday. rather, i need to rant, i need a place/platform where i can truly say whatever that is in my mind or heart. i guess i need a diary. many things go through my mind everyday but i didnt manage to type/write them all down. by the end of the day there are too many things within me that i have no idea where to start. thats why in the end im not blogging. it's impossible to tell someone about those things because they are just too random. they are just thoughts/feelings that are not very important. they results in neither laughter nor tears.

now this is a post that kinda means nothing. that's the reason i'm not blogging.

2010-05-17T22:07:00.002+08:00

i know this post is not relevant.
but i just have to say this.

sometimes, i wish i don't belong here.

2010-05-08T20:41:00.010+08:00

wahaha. i changed my blogskin.
now i am updating my blog! LOL.
i got a shock that my last post was in Feb.
now is like May? LOL.
well. decided to post now 'cause i have a little time.
and i just realise i forget about watching my show.
lol. been watching 败犬女王 online nowadays.
too lazy to watch it on TV and rush back home just to watch it =x

last week was a crazy week.
went to watch iron man 2 on mon with germaine if im not wrong.
LOL. sorry. i didnt bother to check.
should be monday la. if not then tue.
it was nice! though some people say it's not as nice as the first one.
but still. i like it because i think the show was really cool.
it was unrealistic for sure. but it's nice!
oh ya. i thank my colleague for helping me to book my tickets online.
it was running fast in the afternoon.
if we dont book online i dont think we can get our tickets.
when i reach there to queue for my tickets it was already sold out.
i think i really should get myself a debit card.
it's like so much more convenient.
the show was at 7.30pm.
by the time i get my tickets it's already about 7.15pm.
and i still have to go GUESS paragon to change my wallet.
so we ran, literally ran to GUESS paragon from orchard cine.
after choosing and everything it's already 7.35pm.
we ran back to orchard cine and by the time we sat down the show just started. *phew* but that was really crazy.
but im glad that i manage to change my wallet :)
im sorry clique 5 that i went to change it.
and i realise the 3-fold wallet is better than the long one.
the only thing is that they dont hav the window for photos.
cant put photos and my double-heart :(
it's fine la. that's not the main thing about a wallet.
but i only intend to use it like mayb in august?
LOL. i know it's a little long but dont feel like changing everything now ma.
the GUESS wallet is my birthday present from clique 5.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! *bow* LOL.

this is the wallet they bought for me.

and i change to this. =x

on wed, i finally get my birthday present from my colleagues.
they bring me to city chain during lunch and ask me to choose a watch.
they realise that i dont wear a watch.
actually there is a reason. because my wrist is too small.
doesnt look nice with watch. LOL.
but anyway watch is something i really dont hav.
im glad they noticed and glad dat i got it as my birthday present.
my colleagues celebrated my birthday with me on the actual day.
they bought me an awfully chocolate cake.
yummy! i love it! :)
well. as i seldom look at watch i have no idea what watch to buy.
initially they wanted to buy adidas or puma type of watch.
but i think it is too sporty.
i dont think i will wear it out for shopping or things like that.
didnt dare to spend too much time choosing 'cause it is a present.
so when they say guess watch i was like 'ok, im fine with it'.
so we looked at guess watch and bought one of it.
i find it real expensive. i wouldnt have bought it on my own.
im really glad that i receive that as my present.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! *bow*
they wont see this post though.

ok. i know my presents are like GUESS and GUESS.
it is not that i like GUESS.
it is just a not too bad and affordable brand. lol.

this is the watch. it wont b a surprise. LOL.
GUESS watch just look like that.

on thursday my department head treat us to dinner.
a thank you dinner for the hard work during the last few months.
went to chongqing hotpot at suntec city.
had champagne. just a few mouth and i become a lobster once again.
LOL. im too healthy already =x
took a few pic. shall upload when my colleague upload :)
after the dinner we went to chinatown are for KTV!
we sing till 1am. as if we dont hav to work on fri. LOL.
but it was an enjoyable night :)

on friday i went to AARON KWOK'S CONCERT! =D
i know my frens will feel weird. why would i go his concert.
one of the reason is the ticket is free!
one of the sponsor has invited my department to go. hehe.
i was not supposed to have the chance to be there.
but they have quite a lot of tickets so my colleagues ask whether i wan to go.
so i went! and i asked my sis along! :)
oh my god! i cant believe that he is already 40+.
he still can dance and sing at the same time.
and he really dont look v old. LOL.
our seats were not too bad. Cat 1 de. 9th row from the front.
well. i shall share some of the photos my colleague took and some videos that i took.

he learn how to play a piano for 2 months. LOL.
play as he sing. not too bad la.

does he look like he is 44 years old? i dont think so right. LOL.

this is the 450 degree revolving stage.

i believe everyone is familiar with this.
Para Para Sakura!

that marks the end of my post!
on a side note, im disappointed by friends who never wish me Happy Birthday on that day itself.
i dont know whether disappointed is the right word to use.
but anyway, there are some people whom i dont see why he/she never wish me.

thanks MOMO. with you, i know i wont be alone.

2010-02-24T22:07:00.003+08:00

i finally got myself something to do.
it's not like i got nothing to do at all.
but i just don't feel like doing anything.
have too many things in mind.
don't ask me what's in my mind.
sometimes it's too complex that i don't even know what's there.
maybe 'cause life is so boring now that i try to put more things into my mind.
the funny thing is i don't sleep even though i have nothing to do.
in fact i sleep at 1plus everyday and i have no idea what i have been doing.
i really need to have some goals in life.
maybe i should consider self-studying.
but the thing is i don't even feel like doing anything when i reach home from work.
just feel brain drained and lethargic.
guess i have been using too much of my mind.
it's time to stop thinking so much.

i need to decide where to put my dog when i go jap real soon.
but i'm still unsure. thinking about the cost and everything.
oh no. i'm going maybank chinatown branch for 2 weeks.
just feel really sian about it.
because i will be so bored down there.
and i have to learn to be independent like maybe go for lunch alone?
i guess i'm just worried because i don't know what's there to eat at chinatown.
though i think there is quite a lot of good food there.
well, will just see about it.
maybe things won't be as bad as what i think.
but i rather go for suntec IT show than NATAS@Chinatown.
sometimes things are just not within my control.

5th march is reaching. i don't want it to come.
i guess nobody wants it to come.
lol. but we don't have a choice.
we have to face it no matter what.
i don't know what i can hope for.
only hope for the best.
i wonder whether i really did my best this time round.
actually no. i can do better. much better.
this is the first time i panic for major exams.
this is the first time i feel that i won't get what i want.
compared to some, i certainly could have work harder.
O level is great diff from A level.
at least if we didn't do well for Os we can go to poly.
ITE is another pathway but i don't think i will be there.
but for As, where can we go if we don't get into local Uni?
some may say oversea uni. not for me.
private uni? more expensive.
i don't want myself to land anywhere else because it just show that i didn't do well for As.
after taking results i have to decide which pathway to take.
don't ask me what do i want to study.
don't ask me what do i want to be.
it all depends on my results which will be out on 5th March.
it's good that A level results is out on a friday.

anyway, a reminder to my friend though i already told some.
on 5th march, don't find me if you are happy with your results.
find me if you are unhappy with your results.
because i'm sure i can cry with you.
but i'm not sure whether i can laugh with you.
if i can laugh after i see my results i will go find you.
that's when we share our joy.
well, i can picture myself crying.
but the more i think, the more i feel that maybe in the end i won't cry.
i will just accept it.

2010-02-07T11:33:00.004+08:00

杨丞琳-匿名的好友/匿名的朋友
（电视剧《海派甜心》插曲）

杜松混合茉莉的风
回忆里被爱那股激动
天色好红温柔好浓
在胸口浮现你的脸容

一起活在这城市迷宫
提起你名字心还跳动
却没重逢
只有想碰却又不敢碰的那种悸动

也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂走进各自天空
该怎麼说让彼此选择
但思念还转动

不能握的手
从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执著依然执著
与你无关泪自行吸收

不能握的手
却比亲人更亲厚
但所有如果
都没有如果
只有失去的温柔
最温柔

当又一次美梦落空
回忆里被爱那股激动
天色好红温柔好浓
在胸口浮现你脸容

也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂走进各自天空
那是什麼让彼此选择
又不仅是尊重

不能握的手
从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执著依然执著
与你无关泪自行吸收

不能握的手
却比亲人更亲厚
但所有如果
都没有如果
只有失去的温柔
最温柔

不能握的手
从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执著依然执著
却决心和你不再联络

不能握的手
却比爱人更长久
当所有如果
都没有如果
只有失去的拥有
最永久

thanks for forgetting me.

2010-01-23T15:33:00.002+08:00

well well. i know the blog is almost dead.
perhaps no one will visit anymore because they believe that i won't post again.
haha. but too bad! i will still post once in a while.
when i'm super free and i got nothing to do =x

yesterday while working i think about A level results.
i have this sudden fear that i won't do well.
yes yes. i know i need to be confident.
but i ask myself what is the worst case scenario that i can expect.
what is the worst results that i can allow myself to get.
no matter how much i lower my expectation, it is still quite high.
how low can my expectation get? as low as not being able to get into local uni?
so i guess this time round i will hav a great fall.
i can imagine myself crying for the first time after getting back my results.
who doesnt wish dat its tears of joy. but we shall see.
i noe im being pessimistic here. but its really how i feel.
however, my fear is not as bad as some of my frens who hav nightmare almost everyday.
i usually sleep without dreaming of anything.
yes. just wait for the results and decide the path that i can take.

money money money. money is the root of all evil.
for me, money is the root of the problems in my life.
i should be going japan tokyo during end of march wif my mum n my aunt.
to visit my sis n jumpy! (jumpy is my niece)
jumpy is so poor thing.
shes having stomach flu now. keep vomiting watever she drink.
doc say she canot drink milk or water because if she continue vomiting she has to b on drip.
yes definitely it's nice to be able to visit japan.
but i hav to tink of the expenses too.
because i'm supposed to save watever money i can in order to enjoy dere.
by right, i'm supposed to pay for watever im going to spend dere.
imagine. transport 5bucks. meal 15bucks. onsen, disneyland, disneysea.
sometimes i will rather give up enjoying myself.
so much about enjoyment.
i'm going dere to enjoy and coming back to declare bankruptcy. LOL.

that's why i have to work.
my job is quite ok right now.
because i find the people dere really fun n everything.
work is full of laughter.
but im not earning enough.
7bucks per hour seems ok but mayb it's really not good enough.
i noe i shouldnt ask for too much.
but aft cpf contribution n everything, im really not earning enough to save.
so i'm finding tuition job now.
anyway, i tink teaching is a good experience.
but it's really not easy to find.
waiting. i'm still waiting. but my name is not weiting. LOL.
sorry. just remember wat Mr. Herd always say during GP lesson.
i miss school! i want to exercise, i want to play, i want to laugh during lesson.
yes, i truly noe how it feels when adult say we should enjoy school life.
and i wonder whether i did.

wanted to climb stairs tis weekend since nobody can run wif mi.
but i realise i dont hav much time for dat oredi.
well, guess i cant exercise tis week already.
i thought i will be home tomorrow n hav plenty of time.
but hav some dinner thingy tomorrow.
so ya. not much time left.

i just want a simple relationship.
someone i can talk to and laugh with.
someone who will always be there.
someone that does not remind me of my past.

2010-01-09T15:05:00.005+08:00

杨丞琳-雨爱

窗外的天气
就像是你多变的表情
下雨了雨陪我哭泣
看不清我也不想看清

离开你我安静的抽离
不忍揭晓的剧情
我的泪流在心里学会放弃

听雨的声音一滴滴清晰
你的呼吸象雨滴渗入我的爱里
真希望雨能下不停
让想念继续让爱变透明
我爱上给我勇气的 rainie love

久违的雨滴一滴滴累积
屋内的湿气象储存爱你的记忆
真希望雨能下不停
雨爱的秘密能一直延续
我相信我将会看到
彩虹的美丽

冷冷的空气很窒息
我无法呼吸
一万颗雨滴的距离
很彻底让爱消失无息

离开你我安静的抽离
不忍揭晓的剧情
我的泪流在心里学会放弃

听雨的声音一滴滴清晰
你的呼吸象雨滴渗入我的爱里
真希望雨能下不停
让想念继续让爱变透明
我爱上给我勇气的 rainie love

窗外的雨滴一滴滴累积
屋内的湿气象储存爱你的记忆
真希望雨能下不停
雨爱的秘密能一直延续
我相信我将会看到
彩虹的美丽
屋内的湿气象储存爱你的记忆
真希望雨能下不停
雨爱的秘密能一直延续
我相信我将会看到
彩虹的美丽

nice song! must watch the show 海派甜心! :)

2009-11-13T14:47:00.001+08:00

i cant imagine not getting an A for maths!
something must be wrong with my mind.
something is so wrong.
i have got to start praying. =(
but i just have to move on.
a few more papers and a few more weeks.
i cant give up right now.

2009-07-31T20:18:00.002+08:00

alright. its time to relax a little!
i was so so looking forward to friday every week.
because there is no way i can relax during the weekdays.
how sad can life be?
haha. alright. i shall not be pessimistic.
sometimes i wonder about the true meaning of life.
if someone were to ask me about the life in JC, i have no idea what i should say.
because i guess whatever that come out from my mouth wont be positive.
i dont know whether that means i regret choosing JC.
hmm. i guess not. because i dont know whether i will enjoy poly life.
of course poly life might be a little bit more relaxing and fun.
but that's not exactly what im looking for as well.

so hows life in JC now.
its really boring and stressful.
prelims starting in 3 to 4 weeks' time.
and now its kinda like revision period.
timed practice, tests and homework are piling up.
imagine having 3 timed practice of different subject in a day.
isnt that stressful?
and its not like all we have to do is to study for the timed practice.
theres homework for lecture and for tutorial for almost all subjects.
juz had bio timed prac today and im so gonna fail it.
there is not enough time for us to finish studying.
seriously i think thats not effective at all.
im glad that some teachers actually understand how we feel.
but nothing is gonna change.
and the teachers just told us today that there is another small test on tuesday.
they add on saying that we have the whole weekend to study.
why teachers just dun realise that thats not the only subject we are taking.
there is still many other homework n tests coming up.
like theres maths timed practice on wed which cover all the stats topic.
theres a million of homework actually. alright. i shall not list them.
and i have to de-stress a little only on friday.
so i have decided to makes cards and complete my SGC which has to be handed in by next week.
seriously, this kinda life is kinda crazy.

putting school and homework aside.
i brought my dog to the vet 3 weeks ago.
i shall not elaborate much on why.
i visited the vet twice and spent like $240++.
how cool is that. im so gonna earn it back.
but im glad that hes recovering.
one week has to bathe him twice n everyday have to clean him twice.
that really adds on to the amount of work i have to do each day.
anyway. thanks to MOMO for helping me and accompanying me.
heres a picture of my dog! =D

on wed we had career and scholarship fair.
i so so want to get into NTU business accountancy.
actually i have no idea why oso. i just have interest in it?
and nothing has really changed my mind before.
but of course there is a lot of other career choice.
like being a teacher or a social worker.
but thats not the main point now.
the main point is doing well in As so that i can have a choice.
and that means i have to work really really hard.
looking at my mid years results. im far from there.
my maths was really disappointing.
and my econs was like really hopeless.
but i will continue working very hard.
just want to thank Mr Seng for the encouragement he gave.
at least he make me feel that my results doesnt show my true ability for maths.
i believe that teachers are most students' motivation to study.
its the teachers' expectation for you that push you to your maximum potential.
anyway. yup. i will JIAYOU de!

after the C&S fair, stayed back in school for sports club farewell party!
at first i thought we will just gather to eat and everything.
in the end the juniors actually decorated the classroom, organise a lucky draw, made cards for everyone of us and even made a video!
im shocked by the effort put in by them and felt quite bad as we didnt do so much for our seniors last year.
but this batch of juniors are realli hyper. they always get high themselves.
sometimes they can really make a lot of noise.
but i guess they really had great fun together.
looking at the messages in the video, some of them actually say they really like and enjoy being in this CCA and im really glad to see that.
anyway. thanks juniors for the farewell party! =)

alright. i guess its time to get down to serious work.
my sis is coming back from japan during the national day period!
so looking forward to see her, her husband and my niece!
she has really big eyes. haha.
im gonna be damn busy when shes back.
oh ya. i missed a chance going japan with my eldest sis because of my exams.
and my mum has to stay with me in singapore because of me.
felt so bad. but i really dont have a choice.
and my sis came back from japan she showed us lotsa photos.
the photos are so nice!

this is one of the photos.
anyway. just a photo of my niece before i end this post.

rocco and aomi! =D

2009-07-04T20:44:00.002+08:00

omg! i realise i didnt talk about my birthday.
how could i??

ok. so on 24th april, my family celebrated my birthday.
didnt take any photo.
my sis bought an ice cream cake and i got a shock.
LOLx. 'cause before that i just talk abt eating ice cream cake.

then on 25th april, celebrated my birthday with daredevils!
at ichibanboshi. had fried ice cream as my 'birthday cake'. LOLx.
took some pictures.

the 5 of us.

and the 4 of us.
actually there is a few more photos.
but clar haven send it to me. alright. i shall wait. LOLx.
they got me my super big pencil case. i really like it.
and also a top.

then on 26th april. MOMO came my house.
and i got oreo cheesecake as my birthday cake.
thanks a lot. 'cause i think its really nice.
not forgetting the bouquet of flowers.

ok. i know i look super pale here. but i have no idea why. LOLx.

27th april was a monday. so i went to school normally.
didnt expect much. maybe just gifts from my friends.
while i was collecting money, being a responsible loanshark huang aka treasurer.
i really get a shock when my classmates suddenly start singing birthday song and a cake appear in front of me. LOLx.
it was really a surprise. really didnt expect that.
because we said we will not buy cake for anybody's birthday to cut cost.
so the cake wasnt really from the class. it was from some classmates.
thanks for whoever that chip in for the cake.
though i dont really know who. =x
and my clique actually bought me bikini. how cool right.
i have no idea whether i will wear. but i will try not to waste their money. LOLx.
i was especially shock when casuarine pass me a present. and she said victor chip in for the present too.
i was really really shock. haha. thanks my beloved PW mates!
alright. heres some picture.

the cake! with lavi's hand =x haha.

my class. steph and clar are not in the picture.

the 5 of us. sorry. you cant see siowyun's face. haha.

me and nat.

me and joyce.

not forgetting to thank cassandra and JonTan for the esprit shirt. i like it =)
that stupid jie mei er who forgot my birthday and need cassandra to remind you on the day itself.
i will always remember that.
i dont know whether ypu chip in for the present but i dont care! =x

oh ya. to liangping if you still visit my blog.
sorry that i forget to wish you on your birthday. LOLx.
i have no idea why i didnt wish you.
and i only realise i didnt wish you late may. so im sorry!
and i forgot to wish marcus happy birthday also.
'cause was having midyears. oh no.
he will be shocked if he know i still remember though.
alright. shall post some other day.

2009-07-04T20:07:00.002+08:00

alright. i was supposed to post yesterday.
because it's the last day of exams!
sorry to fiona. haha. in the end i didnt post.
i thought of posting whatever i didnt manage to post.
but in the end im just too lazy =x
haha. not much time also.

yesterday was finally the end of midyears!
im glad that its over.
but when i get back my results, it will be different.
there is only one word to describe my midyears.

SCREWED!

i have no idea why i dont have enough time.

but ya. i dont have enough time.

so i will say i tried my best given the time i have.

but i was especially sad over my maths.

hais. i cant imagine that im hoping for a pass.

a C or a D is the best i can expect.

JonTan! prepare to buy me my oreo ice blend. wahaha.

ok. actually i hope what you say will be true.

but unfortunately, i know i cant get a B this time round.

it's really time to start working hard.

while studying for midyears, i keep asking myself.

why do i have to give myself so much pressure?

why do i have to go through all this stress?

i seriously hope its worth it.

and i hope studying in JC could be as enjoyable as secondary school.

alright. i shall try not to be pessimistic. LOLx.

so yesterday aft our last paper, some of us went to watch Transformer 2!

haha. i didnt even watch Transformer 1 =x

but i manage to enjoy watching Transformer 2. so i was glad.

fiona was so scare down there. as if shes watching some horror movie =x

haha. and she said if nat was there, she will do the same.

aft the movie i check the time and realise that it's already 9.

kinda get a shock. didnt know it was so late already.

well. aft exams of course i slept with all the time i have.

LOLx. studying for midyears, i sleep less than 5hours a day.

spending the whole day staring at notes. its so boring! =x

but i try as much as possible to take a break aft studying the whole day.

not forgetting catching my everyday 9pm show.

and of course. every saturday boys over flower! LOLx.

ok. through this period, thanks cassandra, germaine, hongzhen and MOMO for all the encouragement and also talk to me when im so tired of studying.

liangping reminded me about being confident in the past.

was i really confident in the past?

hmm. maybe its really different now.

its really not easy to be confident with what i have been doing now.

slack a bit aft exams but is constantly reminded that i have work to complete my tuesday.

LOLx. and its really a lot of work.

but i still feel like slacking =x

having sore throat now. arghh.

alright. shall end my post here.

2009-05-22T23:32:00.003+08:00

stagnant. stagnant. stagnant. my blog is dead!
haha. and im sorry about that.
i take note of whatever that i want to post so that i won't miss the small little things that happen in my life.
but still. i got no time to post about it.
haha. if not for the strong feelings i have for my cca, i think i won't even be posting now.

this month, aj sports club actually took part in Tchoukball A division.
and i proudly say that we have done our best and have done well.
well done sports clubber! whether you are in team or not.
well done team members for playing such a good game.
and well done non-team members for cheering throughout the game.
the boys' team got 3rd and the girls' team got 1st!
oh my god. it's so exciting!
but what's more important, is the process, not the outcome.

all thanks to our teacher-in-charge and Coach Rezal.
the teachers gave us the opportunity to actually compete and have something to fight for. something that we can look forward to.
in the past, when people ask me about my cca, i don't deny, i'm not proud of it at all.
i will just tell them "oh, we do all kinds of sports and as much as possible contribute back to the school".
some people might think that it's cool to learn all kinds of sports.
but some people might think that what's the point of having this kind of cca in school when all we do is learn, play and enjoy ourselves.
now, i will proudly tell them. we play, we have fun, we learn and we compete.
in the past, we used to play tchoukball leisurely and all we know is to pass the ball and eventually throw the ball to the net (and blah blah blah).
and we thought the game was kind of boring at first because in the game of tchoukball, no interception is allowed.
under Coach Rezal's training, we learn a lot more about the game of tchoukball
the physics, the technique and the skills.
all this we will not know without his coaching.
and the game is not as boring as we thought. it can be real interesting.

we decided to join this tchoukball competition perhaps only in about march or april.
it was a pretty last minute decision and luckily, we are able to get Coach Rezal to be our coach.
we only had maybe about a month of so of training before the competition.
so we had like training about 2 to 3 times a week?
it's pretty tough and tiring, plus the stress from all the work that we have to complete.
because of this competition and training, we have kind of put aside all our work.
that's only just the beginning.
when the team has been selected, the training become 3 to 4 times a week.
and most of the time, we had training at bedok and not in aj due to the lack of venue.
that's how hard we have actually worked to achieve what we can for this competition.

through this competition and the tough training involve, sports club has really become more bonded.
the way we encourage and cheer for each other.
the way we have survived through all this trainings.
some of us get injured. sprain ankle, sprained fingers.
but at the end of the day, ask yourself, is it worth it?
and looking at what we have got, we can gladly say yes, it is worth it.
i have never seen how bonded aj or sports club is until this competition.
of course, sports club will not become a tchoukball club.
we will still do all kinds of sports but we will also maintain or improve our tchoukball skills.

to LKW: yoy know nuts about sports club so stop making your stupid comments. this competition has proven you wrong. and even without it, you are still wrong because at least we try to contribute back to the school.

once again, JIAYOU AJ SPORTS CLUB! WE CAN DO IT!
*pictures will be uploaded as soon as i get it. IF i get it. LOLx.

i have nothing to say.
maybe all i can say is. i'm sorry.

2009-04-18T22:13:00.002+08:00

im sorry friends, for not posting for such a long time.
it's like. hmm. more than a month. LOL.
ok. i was just feeling very tired and many things went through my mind.
so i decided to post on the blog?
the reason i dont post is because i have so many things to update about.
and i may not have the time to post everything that i want.
hmm. so let's just see what i post today ba.
hopefully as much as i can.

i didn't go to skol for more than a week le.
have been having slight fever since 7th april.
but seriously, it is only slight fever.
i felt ok in the morning and only had fever by the time i reach home.
that's why i didn't go for CCA on the 8th. yup.
so on the 10th is good friday. was supposed to go for overnight cycling with sports club.
but in the end i was at home lying on my bed. i can't go =(
and on saturday (11 april) i had kinda high fever. like 38.6? about there.
despite that, i went to buy contact lenses and make a new spectacle.
weird huh. but i realise my face was red when i was at the shop.
but nevermind, everything was ok.
after that my fever was back to slight fever again.
and i have no idea why it's not recovering.
so finally, i went to the doctor on monday thinking of getting MC and take a break.
i never expect a long break though. just expect a one-day break.
but in the end, i did blood test and have low platelets count.
was suspected to have dengue fever. though i have fever and nothing else.
ok. i have no idea. it's very complicated.
someone from NEA came to 'interview' me on tuesday. *faint*
i had my blood test on monday, tuesday, yesterday and today.
platelets count drop on tuesday but increase greatly yesterday.
i was so happy. thinking that i can soon go back to school and for my CCA.
but. my platelets count drop again today. hais. not again.
so i can't go school on monday and have to take another blood test.
hopefully the last blood test *praying*
i'm out of blood already. the nurse tried to squeeze some blood out of me today.
i guess i really didn't drink enough water ba.
but i don't feel feverish anymore. just tired. a little stress. a little sad.
and of course a little dizzy today 'cause i think i'm really out of blood.
the doctor whom i consult is the same for yesterday and today.
he just keep telling me. you are still not out of the wood.
even when he measure my temperature and it's 37.3.
he said " it's not considered fever but it's borderline ".
he just never make me feel that i will be okay.
everytime he just sound like 'don't be too happy yet'.
and i just keep asking him when i can do physical activities.
the main reason is because of my CCA. i shall elaborate on this later or next time.

during this period of time, friends and family are the most important.
thanks joyce, fiona and victor for visiting that day and pass me all my homework.
though i really feel stress after that. but i don't think i should slack during this period.
there's so many things i have to catch up on.
thanks nat for updating me on what's going on in class and in school, and of course homework.
haha. thanks for lending me your notes to copy and all.
thanks siowyun for helping to scan and everything.
thanks germaine for helping me to pass notes and homework.
thanks everyone for your concern.
i will go back to school real real real soon. most probably and hopefully tuesday.
though i know i will feel really stress after that. but it's better than staying at home everyday.
thanks to my family and MOMO for everything.
hope it will really be over soon.
i want to go back to school.
i want to have fun with my friends.
i want to go for CCA and train for tchoukball.
but all this still depend on the blood test on monday.

when i see pak during the family day carnival i was so so happy.
suddenly just have the cheerleading feel.
whenever i see/hear fiona talking about cheerleading i think it's so fun.
but looking at my schedule and everything i don't think i can join this year.
as far as i really want to join, i don't think i can.
it's like. i can't always get whatever i want.
sometimes i need to sacrifice some stuff for others.
well. looking at the fact that i didn't go school for a week and i can't do physical activities.
i'm kind of glad that i'm not in cheerleading.
'cause eventually i won't be able to join in the performance.
eventually i will miss all the practice and it doesn't make a difference from not joining at all.
JIAYOU everyone! for all the SYFs and tournaments.

2009-03-01T00:46:00.004+08:00

im posting at a v weird timing. coz its kinda late now.
haha. but im not going to slp early today! i hope?
LOLx. hav been slping n slacking like shit la.
canot stand myself oredi.
went to run at khatib wif ger tis morning.
n realise dat the stadium is being used by MOE.
for some fitness carnival. n saw some aj teachers. LOLx.
napha is coming. n i tink im gonna screw my sit n reach.
not forgetting my inclined. n dats sad. haha.
but well. juz gonna do my best. LOLx.
mi n ger meet again in the afternoon to study!
but of coz its not v effective.
in the end i dunno wat i hav been studying.
n i wan to slp =x haha.
omg la. i hav been slping n slping.
so the first thing i do when i reach home is slp.
hence i decided not to slp early tonight!
if not im juz going to blame myself n everything.

ok. my results has been dropping n dropping.
n i failed my first maths test in my life.
how could tis happen to mi?? omg.
ok. i hav been reflecting n asking myself tis question.
n ya. was kinda sad. but i juz hav to work harder.
but as u can c. im not working v hard either. LOLx.
n i failed my bio test too. like duh. haha.
my bio teacher juz ask issit bcoz i nvr study.
alright. i kinda expect to screw both tests since the day i did it.
2 more tests coming up. n im gonna work hard for it!

A level chinese results is coming out soon!!!
its going to b out tis coming week. most prob. omg.
i juz realli hope dat i can get the A i wan.
though tis is the most screwed chinese paper i ever took.
but still. i hope i can get an A!
ok. im not going to tink too much.

hmm. i nvr tok abt the relationship seminar held in my skol.
the speaker is pretty funny.
thru the seminar i guess some of us learn some things.
n ya. it kinda make pple like mi to tink. LOLx.
but if im not going to type it out la.
its gonna b somewhere in my heart. haha.

another thing is the first few CCA session wif the J1s.
im juz too tired to type it all out now.
but i will post abt it soon! haha.
though i dunno when dat will b =x

i noe sometimes i can b quite attitude.
i noe sometimes i can b quite fierce.
i noe sometimes i can b quite straightforward.
n i noe im getting uglier each day.
but well. dats juz mi.
sorry if i hav offended u in any way.

to ONGJIAYAN (if u ever visit my blog): haha. how can u not tell mi when u change ur blog url!?!?! im so disappointed in u. ok. juz kidding. but i sense something thru ur blog. juz hope dat u r ok. =)

randoms.
you are right when you say "why do i need to tell you?"
im almost there.
what do i want for my future?

2009-02-22T09:20:00.003+08:00

omg. juz look at the date today.
haha. i nvr post for more than a month le.
dats so cool! LOLx.
ok. sorry to those pple who visited.
but im posting now! though im still busy.
LOLx. im having chem SPA on monday which is tml.
n deres tons of homework to b completed la.
nvm. i will work v hard ltr!
but im meeting ger to run in the evening.
LOLx. PE has been rather slack n i tink i lose the momentum to run.
omg. i dun wan to screw my napha which is juz one week away.
but. haha. i tink im juz going to screw it =x
n we r getting back our A level chinese results real soon.
wat if i get a B? haha. i keep asking myself dat.
i tink i will juz retake though it doesnt make a diff in my As results.
but it matters to mi bcoz its chinese.
i hav been realli hardworking tis yr but somehow i still dun do well.
in fact i tink its worse than last year.
so i guess tis yr's work is realli tougher n more demanding?
juz look at my blog. its one month without a post!

ok. so i shall start tokin abt wat has happened earlier tis month.
hmm. 3rd feb was my father's n valerie's birthday!
ok. i noe its a bit late to say now. haha.
but actually didnt realli hav much celebration oso.
wats impt on 3rd feb is its an emo day for mi!
ok. dun ask y. haha. but its over =)
n somehow fiona drew something for mi n nat during one of the lecture.

tis is her usual garden theme for nat.

n tis is her limited edition ocean theme for mi. LOLx.
i shall not elaborate much on tis ok. juz c for urself =)

4th feb is CCA carnival! haha.
the beginning of jan is the beginning of J1s coming in.
its weird coz deres many zhonghuarian. LOLx.
but watever it is. my cca had a fun time during the carnival.
n we kinda didnt expect so many pple to b interested.
like 112 or more pple actually sign up for our cca.
LOLx. but sadly we can oni take in abt 20 or so.
so we conducted our interview n we didnt expect all of them to turn up.
in the end abt 90plus turn up for the interview.
n then from 90plus we eliminate some n left wif abt 58 to come for orientation camp.
ok. its not exactly a camp. but thru tis camp we will try to noe them betta.
n then from dere eliminate pple again.
so now we hav chosen 20 J1s!
n i get a shock. bcoz abt 8 or more out of the 20 r from zhss.
when the excos r selecting n all i realli didnt realise deres so many of them.
coz i dunno all their names. LOLx.
ok. im a failure senior. but who cares =x haha.
ya. dats abt all.
juz hope dat they wont expect too much from our club n then disappointed if they r unable to get wat they expected.
coz things dont come easy.
its not like we can get wat we wan all the time.

now move in to 5th feb - Bacteria Transformation Practical.
tis definitely sound unfamiliar to non-bio pple.
but anyway. Transformation is juz a method for bacteria to multiply/reproduce.
ok. im not here to teach bio. LOLx.
but we did tis experiment n realising its going to b our SPA. omg.
its quite fun. but its unexpected.
tis experiment is abt inserting a plasmid containing fluorescent gene into bacteria n allow the bacteria to grow n multiply.
ok. im starting to sound boring to pple who dunno abt tis.
so i shld juz upload some pics to show the results.
im taking bing's group results coz i didnt take pic of my group.

tis is the four plates dat we hav. each containing different nutrients.
only one of them is supposed to fluoresce.

tis is the one which fluoresce under UV light.

so on 8th feb. i went for National Vertical Marathon organise by NTU Sports Club.
its like a carnival dere. n we had fun. realli.
we paid 16bucks to climb 60 storeys n get NVM shirt n a lot more things.
haha. i kinda treat it as a challenge n experience ba.
not everyone can experience tis kinda thing in their life.
but watever it is. its fun! but its tiring.
LOLx. we join the inter-jc team race. in teams of 5.
n im realli sorry. bcoz i kinda pull my team down.
haha. they r v nice la. the different teams giving each other encouragement.
"we are not here to win. we are here to have fun. JIAYOU!"
dats wat they hav been shouting along the way up.
good job ajcians! haha. most of them r odacians btw.
pictures r wif JOYCE HO. haha. still waiting.

i got nth much to say abt V day actually.
haha. juz thanks to sy for the flower.
n i took pic of the flower though its dying now =(
its sad dat real flowers will nvr survive for long.
but i dun wan a fake flower even though it will nvr die.

n nvr forget to thank fiona for the bottle of M&M! LOVES.

ok. tis is a long post. n i hav almost reach the end!
haha. juz wan to tok abt how screwed my 2 common tests was on 17feb.
omg la. maths n bio common tests on the same day.
n i screw it like totally. dat makes my most screwed day!
n im so sad dat im missing all the good movies recently =(
okok. im going to hav a movie marathon once im free.
n i shall spend more time doing wat i shld do n wat i wan to do.

alright. i shall end wif some random pics.
taken during the dec holiday when meeting up wif simeon who is back from australia.
once again. mi wearing back = ugly mi. LOLx.

the four of us. without JY once again.

oh ya. forget to tok abt it. met up wif daredevils yesterday.
LOLx. celebrated mingli's n clar's birthday tgt.
took some pics. but its wif ONG JIAYAN. haha.
had fun tgt!

ok. now its time to do work again. omg.

2009-01-16T22:02:00.004+08:00

omg. my blog almost die!
LOLx. its all bcoz of mi.
im so sorry. but i realli got no time to blog.
well. its first week of skol n its friday!
which means i got a little bit of time to blog =p
many things happened over the past 2 weeks.
juz didnt hav the time to blog.
so if i forget anithing dat happen. im realli sorry.

alrite. something happened to my family on 2jan.
or rather 1st jan. so mayb dats y i nvr post aft dat?
of coz im not gonna say wat realli happen.
but i guess it kinda affect mi n keeps mi realli busy.
n busy means i got no time for my work.
esp during dat week which is the week b4 skol reopen.
i was supposed to use dat time for my homework.
but in the end i guess im kinda short of time.
all i can say is. my 3rd sis is living wif mi right now.
wif her 2 sons which means my 2 nephews.
wif kids at my hse its super noisy n everything.
sometimes i juz hav to help out coz they r all busy.
im not someone who can realli take care of kids.
n im not someone who can realli play wif kids.
though i used to do dat when im in primary skol.
haha. well. its so long ago rit.
oso bcoz of dat my mum has to stop working.
so it kinda affect my family? deres many changes.
like now we will go to our grandparents hse on sunday instead of tue.
n i hav to try to go home asap aft skol to help my mum.
deres pros n cons wif tis thing happening.
bcoz of them staying at home i will wan to go home aft skol.
coz at least when i reach home im not alone.
u noe. staying at home alone is so boring.
n of coz. it makes mi feel dat i hav a family.
though sometimes im kinda irritated by wat the kids r doing.
alrite. i hav to accept dat they r juz kids n nd to b taught.
but im definitely not happy wif the thing dat happened.
coz i seriously nvr wan dat to happen.
sometimes i wonder y will things turn out dat way?
n who r the real victims when it happens?

ok. enough of all those crap.
on 8jan. mi jaslin sophia n cinny went to cass hse for a mahjong session.
LOLx. coz some of them wan to learn ma.
so juz go n play for fun??
relax a bit though i haven realli finish my homework at dat time.
but everyday do homework will cause my death.
n we celebrated cinny's birthday in advance.
tml they actually wanted to go out n celebrate again.
i doubt i can go. the reason will b the last part of tis post.

now come to the boring stuff which is skol reopen on 12th.
ok. its not realli boring. im actually looking forward to it.
putting aside the homeworks we hav to complete n everything.
the reason i look forward to it is of coz bcoz of my frens.
but oso bcoz i wan to study n im going to b a mugger tis year!
ok. i dunno whether dats something i shld b proud of.
but im sure dats something i will b happy abt.
LOLx. n dats more than enough =)
we r constantly reminded dat As is not v far away from us.
time flies. v soon we will hav to work hard for our As.
complete our As n wait for our results.
we got our new GP teacher. Mr Peter Herd.
LOLx. hes god damn funny wif all his lame jokes.
but i will say wif him as my GP teacher i will hav to work extra hard.
coz his expectations for work n all is higher than Ms Sabariah.
well. i noe dat its good for us.

we r having malay lessons b4 the release of our chinese As results.
i will say its quite interesting. its like learning another language.
n it gets harder aft each lesson. but overall its fun.
the indian students in my class oso had their chinese lesson.
its god damn funny when we start sharing wif each other.
i will always rmb u all tot chio bu is a chinese word for pretty. LOLx.
n Lavi. im here to remind u dat u r a joke! n super bitchy =x
(be glad dat ur name is on my blog! haha.)

sometimes its better not knowing anything at all.
so dont try to find out. just let it go.
sometimes i dont really know exactly how i feel too.
is that the right feeling?

here comes the part.
i have lost my voice!
omg. its so damn terrible.
at first it was juz sore throat.
n tis morning i kinda completely lose it.
now i hav a little bit of my voice back.
but still. i cant tok much. LOLx. dats so terrible.
i wan my voice back! =(
im like getting weaker n weaker ever since i come jc.
mayb bcoz of stress?? im not sure.
tis is not the first time i lose my voice in my jc life.
dats so so so bad. i guess i really hav to do something abt it.
stupid binghong 'scolded' mi for dunno how many times today.
i was counting n i lost track.
trying to make fun of mi n oso bcoz he noe i cant scold back.
n stupid jaryl is using the 'silence means consent' thing coz i cant tok!
n stupid jon wif his 'huh? i cant hear u. wat were u saying?'
of coz the gals r much nicer. all they did is laughing at mi.
LOLx. dats random comment ok. dun take it to heart.
thanks to whoever dat help mi when i lost my voice! LOLx.

i kinda feel distant from my frens sometimes.
but well. i guess juz nd a bit of time ba.
thanks frens who r always dere for mi.
thanks MOMO for being dere all the time n everything.

alright. i shall end my super long post! haha.
and YES! I WILL LOVE MYSELF! =)

2009-01-01T13:56:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! AND ITS 2009!
LOLx. sorie to those whom i nvr reply.
once again. its abt my phone bill. haha.

THANKS IAN FOR UR HOUSE!
haha. i rmb saying i hope my new year eve wont b boring.
n ian offered his house so dat some of us can gather.
so yup. meet up wif some of the 4e4 pple aft my last day of work.
oh. its my last day of work yesterday! LOLx.
alrite. i dunno whether to b happy or sad.
happy coz i can finally take a break. sad bcoz i hav to say bye to them.
n oso bcoz i hav to say hi to skol. haha.
its not dat im sad gong back to skol. juz dat i haven realli started on my homework.
well. juz pray dat i will finish by 12jan alrite. haha.
but im still slacking rit now =x
so yesterday meet up wif cass, soph, jaslin, wanzhen, val, jon, ian, justin n kahwai.
LOLx. the feeling was great. the oni thing is in the end nvr stayover.
so i reach home v early. n tis year i nvr watch any firework at all! =(
anyway. we had our gift exchange. wz n cass got their cute mickey n minnie!
i tink i kinda miss sec skol life. coz sec skol frens r funny pple.
like ian n justin. LOLx. they realli make mi laugh yesterday.
i seriously do not noe how i feel abt tis 2009. get kinda emo when i reach home.
then i start to tink of the end of 2007. i was kinda sad.
i dun rmb y. mayb bcoz im leaving zhss n going to college.
n mayb oso bcoz of him. mayb dats y i was sad.
i kinda dun feel anithing for the end of 2008.
coz tis yr i will still b seeing my frens n everything.
though its kinda weird w/o the familiar faces of the J2s.
so for tis yr. i dun c any major changes in my life.
im not going to list out the resolutions for 2009.
i juz wish dat everything will go well for my As tis year.
time flies n 2 years of JC life will soon come to an end.
i hav no time to waste so im going to study soon.
the start of 2009 is oso the start of my mugger life.

anyway. stupid jon! how could u forget abt my christmas present!?!?!
haha. tis is random. but i juz hav to say it =x

last year u called.
this year not even a messege.
what does it mean?
i don't know.
but maybe its better this way.
the start of 2009 is the start of my life totally without you.

2008-12-28T22:18:00.003+08:00

haha. alrite. i just have to post this.
a great thanks to huimin for wat she bought from america.
abercrombie shirt n victoria's secret.
n oso for wat she bought for my mum.
now i realli realli owe her a lot. ahh. feeling so bad.
LOLx. but im happy today!
deres no exact reason y.
today went bugis wif huimin. coz she wan to walk walk.
i suggested bugis so dat i can surprise momo. LOLx.
n i succeeded! miracles do happen rit. haha.
alrite. anyway. i juz nd to post n tell everyone im happy today!
a million thanks to huimin n am realli glad to hav her as my fren.
coz watever she do she will tink of mi. so nice.
ok. i juz got reminded dat im gonna miss the lan outing tml.
n ya. im going to chiong homework soon. LOLx.

oh ya. i did a good deed today!
i was on my way out n saw tis 2 blind man.
i always c them on my way home taking bus 853.
they were asking for someone to lead them the way.
so i decided to help n bring them to where they wan to go.
well. it realli feels great to help whoever dat nd help. =)

2008-12-28T11:55:00.002+08:00

haha. i just wake up! cool right.
LOLx. cannot blame la. had phone conference with cass and jon.
its so cool sharing stories! haha.
n we talk for almost 3 hours i think.
stop talking at abt 3am if i never remember wrongly.

anyway. thats not the main point.
the main point is i never post on christmas or anywhere near.
HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS to all!
haha. i know its very late. but it should be okay la.
thanks people for all the wishes and everything.
sorry to joyce and siowyun that i didnt reply your msges.
thats because my phone bill is bursting!
haha. but dont worry. i will be writing cards for you people.
LOLx. get ready to receive it on the 2nd! =D
yeah. and that means i have to start writing all the cards soon.
haha. even before i finish my homework.
come on. im never going to finish it la.
its like crazy. n come to think of it. i really have to chiong lo.
oh ya. back to the christmas thingy.
omg. walking along orchard road on christmas eve was crazy.
on christmas it was much much better.
anyway. thats after my work. so i was with linhui. LOLx.
and for the post christmas private sale. omg.
its like mad n kinda irritating.
coz everybody ask the same question.
'is this having sales?' n when u say no they will just go off.
LOLx. so everything must have sales. ok. watever!
thanks cass, cinny, clar n her fren for visiting on christmas eve.
thanks hongzhen for visiting n the shirt u bought.
thanks alan for coming down 3 days n the chocolate.
oh ya. thanks ger for the card u made. LOLx.
i will return u one soon. w/o all the history =x haha.

i think i missed out quite a lot of things during the holiday coz of my work.
the feeling is damn freaking sian. bit i guess its alrite.
i mean. when skol reopen everything shld b back to normal.
im so so sorie dat i forget to wish nella, cas, victor, jon n tsewei good luck for retest.
n i oni realise it when the tests r over. so so bad.
so i hav decided to write cards for the gals!
coz i noe guys wont take good care of my cards. LOLx.
omg. i got so many cards to write n so much homework to do. im dead.
n huimin juz came back from america not long ago.
im going to meet her today.

alrite. take note people. my phone bill is bursting.
so sorie if i nvr reply ur msg. LOLx.
n i seriously hope new year eve wont b a boring day for mi.

2008-12-22T23:47:00.002+08:00

haha. im supposed to psot yesterday.
but end up im too tired n lazy. again. LOLx.
anyway. i was supposed to tok abt sat.
went to study wif ger n jie mei er!
LOLx. shocking? weird combi? yes it is.
first time in my life studying wif my jie mei er.
its alrite la. though its surprising dat hes quiet for more than 1 min! =x
wahaha. n he did his work! omg.
(hes gonna kill mi aft seeing tis. but well. he shld noe betta than i do)
LOLx. im like insulting him here.
haha. so at abt 7 ger nd to go home for dinner.
mi n jie mei er than stop studying.
went for dinner at yishun. first time in his life. LOLx.
n we had our emo tok. haha.
im glad he felt the way i do.
so dats abt it. we tok for abt 2hours n went home.
was like emo-ing throughout the nite la.
haha. shit. im telling pple im emo again.
but seriously. emo-ing is nth for mi. LOLx.
n i was so god damn happy when i received my bro's msg.
the same time as i took out my phone.
haha. dats realli damn cool.
n i thank him for tokin to mi when i realli nd someone to tok to.
though i didnt tell him much abt everything.
i juz nd someone to tok abt anithing.
of coz i hav to thank cass n jie mei er for tokin to mi dat day =)

yesterday fiona told mi the bad news of not having stayover on new year eve.
oh man. its gonna b so boring! LOLx.
i shall c wat else i can do =)

well. working days r tiring for mi.
esp. during christmas period.
omg. cant realli stop n rest. LOLx.
its like. busy busy n busy. even today.
a monday when deres supposed to b v little pple.
anyway. yay! linhui is oso working on christmas =p
thanks clar n fren for visiting taka today.
thanks momo n fren for finding mi today too.
n im off tml! wahaha. alright. dats abt all =)

regrets in life...

2008-12-19T12:03:00.003+08:00

got a little bit of time to post.
coz today im gonna start work kinda late.
anyway. actually i got nth much to say.
yesterday nat asked mi hows work.
i told her work is juz work.
LOLx. wat a lame ans.
but alright la. tis time is a bit of diff.
i noe a lot of pple from my company.
i noe my seniors. i noe pple abt my age.
shelmin. ivy. venus. linhui.
well. i guess yesterday was the last day i will c ivy.
but we will keep in contact ba.
n mayb today is the last day i will c shelmin too.
i hav learnt quite a lot from her.
n we hav been going for breaks tgt.
pple from the same company arent supposed to go tgt la.
but we manage to! haha.
omg. she got a bf dat lasted for more than 3 years oredi.
nth abt it. juz tink dat its cool. haha.
i will still b seeing venus n linhui.
another thing. i will b working on christmas and eve.
come on pple. i dun like pple to tink dat its a sad thing or watever.
n no. its not a lonely christmas. or anithing.
its fine working on dat day esp. when i dunno wat else i can do.
the oni thing i dread is walking along orchard road aft my work.
dere will b so many pple.
something i dread. but it may turn out alright.
dats always the case.

yes. im not very happy right now.
but i guess i only need a few days to recover.
thanks for letting me understand.
though this time i really dont know the reason.
it just ended. without me knowing.
if thats what you want.
i dont seriously know what i want.
i dont exactly know whats best for me.
but i will be used to it. i can survive.
maybe this time i really learn a lesson.

2008-12-16T22:57:00.002+08:00

i was back to work on monday!
wahaha. was trying to take a risk.
c whether i can survive the 8hours.
monday was a v rush day.
coz had exco meeting in skol at 9am.
so i asked to work at a ltr time instead.
so start work at oni 2.
sunday i oni slp for abt 3hours.
coz of my queasy stomach. i cant take it.
n monday i almost reach my limit.
but it was ok la. i still manage to work until 10.
wif my blocked ear. LOLx. sian lo.
i seriously cant hear v clearly now.
i hope hope hope it will recover soon.
the meeting end at abt 12pm n the original plan was to go cass hse.
but shes slping! LOLx. n i cant wake her up.
its alrite cass. dun apologise again. haha.
so i faster rush home n grab some bite.
coz im pretty hungry n everything.
n i manage to reach my work place on the dot.

today had my off day. LOLx.
they actually ask mi to work today.
but i realli tink i shld rest n im meeting daredevils.
went shopping wif ger n clar today.
but i nvr buy anithing. coz i nvr c many nice things.
haha. then aft dat meet mingli for dinner.
daredevils meeting w/o ong jiayan again. LOLx.
well. busy wif ur blog shop huh.
shall forgive u for ur absence. haha. =x
actually nth much la huh.
hope nxt time i go shopping can c something i like.
aft dat all of them rushing home to watch little nonya.
but still. they miss quite a bit i guess.
oh. thanks hongzhen for going to taka today.
sorie dat im not dere. but u saw liangping! LOLx.

sometimes i really really want to talk to you.
sometimes i really really dont know how i feel.
im really sorry for whatever that has happen the past few days.
i have no idea whats happening too.

you are still the best and the right one after all.

2008-12-14T11:48:00.004+08:00

tis song is damn sweet! =p
now i noe where jiahong n cass get their quotes from.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 - CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE

[Gabriella]
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked to mine
And let the music be your guide

[Troy:]
Won't you promise me
[Gabriella:]
Now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget
[Troy:]
We'll keep dancing
[Gabriella:]
To keep dancing
[Both:]
Wherever we go next

[Both:]
It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feelin' the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on gettin' better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Troy]
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all

[Troy:]
And you can't keep us apart
[Gabriella:]
Even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart
[Troy:]
Cause my heart is
[Gabriella:]
Cause my heart is
[Both:]
Wherever you are

[Both:]
It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feelin' the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on gettin' better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Both:]
Oh, no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

[Both:]
It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feelin' the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on gettin' better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

2008-12-14T11:01:00.003+08:00

oh man. im having fever for days again.
hais. weak to the max la. omg.
for dat im gonna miss 3 days of work.
n 2 off days. makes up a total of 5 days.
not like im having some free days or watever.
im staying at home feeling kinda terrible.
y do i always get sick n take so long to recover =(
n yesterday the fever was so so bad.
from 37.6 straight up to 39.4
no matter wat i hav to go c a doc.
so i dragged myself out of bed to c a doc.
had ear infection oso. dats not the first time.
n sometimes its pain to the max. cant even slp.
well. aft i c the doc is much much betta.
but still. i hav not recover. hais.
having no appetite for days.
its either porridge or bread. no fish!
anyway. will feel like vomiting aft eating too much.
too much meaning the normal portion.
which means i eat realli v little.
n dat oni means im gonna get more n more thin.
alright. dats not something to b happy abt.
i nd more time to get fat =(
n fiona will call mi something else instead of ms slender.

alright. im here to apologise too.
sorie to pple whom i nvr reply on msn coz im slping.
n for those who ask mi whether i hav recovered.
the ans is obvious. not yet. but hopefully soon.
oh ya. n v sorie to ONG JIAYAN.
coz she came my hse yesterday.
supposedly to study. but end up c mi slping.
so in the end she oni come for less then 4 hours.
realli v sorie abt dat.
hope u visit my blog soon to c tis la huh.
nxt time i will nvr ask my fren to come my hse.
when im sick n tired. coz i will b slping.

oh ya. THANKS ONG JIAYAN.
for the clothes dat u bought. haha.

sometimes i wonder who i am to you.
i cant help but to think that im not the girl.
and im sorry that im being too serious.

2008-12-10T22:36:00.003+08:00

alrite. i was supposed to post yesterday.
but end up im v tired n everything.
most importnatly, im lazy. watever.

a warning to everyone dat im in a v bad mood now.
so i will juz b pissed by everything.
dun ask mi y. i guess deres no particular reason.
hais. but when im pissed i will feel like crying.
so the feeling is like shit.
anyway. the main point is. dont bother.

yesterday was my mum's birthday.
actually i cant realli post abt tis rit now.
coz im not in the right mood.
but i hav to. since im oredi here.
so HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MUM!
belated bcoz i post it today n not yesterday.
celebrated her birthday on monday.
well. din tai fung again. im so sick of the food dere now.
but dat day i end work at 6.30pm. omg. early for the first time.
n went to find my 3rd sis wif her hubby n my nephew.
god. hes so damn playful n hyper.
i cant imagine having a kid like him in future.
well. mayb i wont hav any kid anyway.

alrite. so now i shall tok abt yesterday.
some of us meet up wif simeon who is back from australia.
sad la. come back for NS.
but well. he shld b happy to c us!
i oni meet them aft my work which is like abt 9pm?
feel so bad to keep them waiting.
in the end we nvr realli do much things.
juz play, laugh n tok then aft dat we go home.
they went for movie n dinner b4 dat.
unfortunately, i cant join them.
but its alrite man! deres always the nxt time.
we took pics though. mi wif the ugly black shirt.
anyway. will upload it once i get it.
n i tink its realli cool dat we meet up once in a while.
we still tok n everything.

anyway. i made new frens yesterday.
at my workplace. n i went for break wif one of them.
we went to 7-eleven n suddenly i tink of someone.
dat someone whom nobody will ever believe dat i tink of.
i suddenly rmb how well he treat mi last time.
buying stuff for mi when he go oversea.
buying my favourite chocolates for mi.
printing all the good n impt notes for mi.
n even buying assessment book for mi.
all of these i nvr ask from him. but he did it.
some pple may find tis v familiar.
n i guess its pretty obvious who im tokin abt.
i juz realli realli wan to say thanks n oso v sorie.
though we didnt realli tok tis yr n not anymore.
i dunno whether u still visit my blog like u always do.
juz wan to thank you for watever u hav done.
im sorie dat i forgot ur birthday tis yr.
but ya. realli didnt mean to.

anyway. sorie frens if i nvr reply ur msg.
coz sometimes my phone cant receive msg or reply.

2008-12-07T20:35:00.004+08:00

alrite. a few pics dat we took when we go nat's hse.
of coz deres more. oni upload selected few. LOLx.

tis is wat fiona made for us. we oni rmb to take a pic of it when its almost finished. LOLx.

tis is us! natalie. mi. fiona.

haha. spastic! xD

our star! =p

of course deres more pics. but im not going to upload all. haha.

maybe its better this way 'cause i know you don't care.

2008-12-07T19:36:00.003+08:00

oh man. im tired tired n tired. LOLx.
yesterday or mayb shld say tis morning.
went to liangping's hse for overnite mahjong.
its crazy! play all the way from abt 4 to nearly 12.
*faint* by abt 9plus or ever earlier my body oredi aching.
mi n ping manage to catch up a bit while waiting for kimwei.
i tink its realli cool. haha.
but hey man. dun worry abt mi. coz im alrite =)
i realli feel glad dat i hav frens like u pple.
can meet up laugh, tok n everything.
mayb we shld realli meet up during christmas??
its gonna b cool having primary skol gathering again.
LOLx. dun tok abt winning or losing.
zhang liangping will nvr take money from mi!
so in the end i nvr even pay for my 'dinner' yesterday.
thanks ah. i noe i owe u 2 meals. haha.
nvr let it bcome 3 pls.
its been long since i met kimwei.
so im realli happy to c him =)

in the end i reach home at abt 1 n im supposed to meet ger.
but im too tired to move n everything.
so i suggested her to come my hse instead.
the original plan was to study n run.
but running was cancelled coz i cant run w/o slp.
study plan wasnt cancelled but in the end i juz slp =x
wahaha. ok la. not v long wat. 2hours plus?
n so sorie to spoil ger's study plan.
haha. coz she cant seem to study too.
its alright to slack once in a while yeah.
but i will b going to study real soon!
though im still feeling kinda tired. LOLx.
n tml nd to go back to work!
oh man. i kinda dread working now?
aft work tml then going to cele my mum's birthday =)

it's friends who make me see my worth.
it's friends who really care for me.
it's friends who I can really depend on.
THANKS FRIENDS! =D

2008-12-05T23:47:00.002+08:00

alrite. i shall post now since im free.
but i dont think it will b a happy post.
in fact i tink it will b quite boring. LOLx.

its all abt working tis week.
have been working at taka from mon to fri.
n today. i broke my record.
working for 11 hours. cool? haha.
the seniors r kinda irritating in the beginning.
but well. aft dat i tink they r ok =)
ok. actually nth much abt work.
its juz busy busy n busy.
n now my legs r realli tired.

i question myself abt being online.
y m i on msn at tis time?
deres oni one simple reason.
well. im not going to say.
i expected something yesterday n i got my disappointment.
u will never believe i cry over it.
u will never know how it feels to come online wif hope.
n in the end. deres nth. forget it.
frens. dun bother asking mi wat happen.
dun bother asking mi whether im ok.
i will juz tell u im fine. so no point asking.

oh man. indo ocip pple r back.
welcome back to singapore! LOLx.
i noe u all hav realli enjoyed the trip.
bon voyage to huimin n jiayan.
huimin is going america wif her bf. 3 weeks!
n jy. i tink going wif her family to malaysia?
not v sure abt dat.
but anyway. i will miss them =)
n simeon is coming back to singapore!

oh ya. thanks yj n jy for toking to mi dat day.
i noe my attitude was quite bad.
n i didnt reallise absorb much bcoz of my mood.
sorie dat i didnt bother to tell the whole story.
coz anyway. deres no story. deres nth to tell.

to nat: haha. ya. i realise aft i post it. but then nvm la huh. u juz added something to the post! haha. n oh ya. thanks for the msg dat day =)

ok. dats all. told u its gonna b a boring post.

2008-11-28T16:41:00.003+08:00

oh my. its crazy. i cant take it anymore.
i guess i nd to complain!! dats y im blogging. LOLx.
im not someone who complains a lot.
mayb juz bcoz im tired n dun feel v well?
i was so tired yesterday when i reach home at 12.45am.
wash up n everything then went to bed.
today when i wake up i realise its almost 1pm.
i got a shock man. coz dat means im realli tired.
faster rush to prepare for taka interview.
the worse thing is i got stomach upset.
i dun feel like eating though i feel hungry.
i got no time n i juz rush out of my hse.
finally reach n the interview was long.
a lot of information n realli v strict.
b4 i start work i tink i nd to spend.
for all the attire stuff. cant realli take it.
n i feel weak all over.
dere was another gal having interview wif mi.
n omg. she look like someone whom i nvr tok to anymore.
for a moment i was tinkin whether they r related.
same face. same hair. same eyes. its similar.
i wonder abt her age too. i tink im going to work wif her.
but anyway. juz when i was tinkin abt her.
i saw dat someone whom i nvr tok to on my way home.
LOLx. omg. the world is too small.
n i seriously hope they r not related.
watever, by dat time im oredi dying of thirst.
n i feel like fainting anytime soon.
seriously cant take it.
dats y i chiong all the way home.

f*** those pple outside taka. if i got the energy i will stare at u.

ok. so what happen yesterday. i was out more than 12hours.
afternoon went to meet ger at orchard for lunch.
had random tok n everything.
we dun feel like shopping so end up go swensens eat ice cream.
the tot of spending so much i dun wan to eat my dinner.
haha. but i dun realli hav a choice.
in the evening went to meet my 1st og pple.
its always the few of us.
ziyan charlie zhenhong yongjie fiona lawson.
dionne, junda n sheryl cant b dere.
so the plan was to meet up n oso cele yj's birthday.
went to din tai fung for dinner.
god. i told them we will hav indigestion la.
they juz keep joking, lying n laughing.
so in the end we cant catch chihuahua 8pm show.
sad. i wan to watch la! n now i dunno whether i got the time to.
LOLx. end up watching cape no.7. *faint*
seriously. its not v nice lo. i feel like slping =x
but i manage to survive. n it lasted for 2 hours!
god. we got a shock when we realise its 11.30!
hate it. bcoz its reaching the time of no train no bus.
at 12am we were still at orchard.
deres no more bus n we miss the last train to jurong east.
but luckily. deres still one last train to kranji.
n dat saves our life. LOLx.
if not we will hav to take taxi wif surcharge aft 12am. *faint*
so aft i reach home i get online n i was disappointed.
dun ask mi y im disappointed.
mayb its juz the end of everything.

2008-11-27T11:00:00.003+08:00

this is a random post.

nth much to say.
juz wan to say i got no mood to study! LOLx.
i bet many will b happy to c tis. haha.
having arius outing ltr on.
oni 7 of us though. LOLx.
alrite la. we r one small group of great frens! =)
n im dragging them to watch chihuahua! =x
haha. i always drag them to movie.
ok la. they oso nvr realli object to the idea. haha.
if not i will juz go watch alone.
n some pple gonna say dat im emo!
im not alrite. LOLx.

oh ya. forget to say.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DENISE LIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ADRIAN WONG.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHENYING.
LOLx. though i tink none of them will c it =x

this few days i have been really happy.
but i'm definitely not ready to give it a try.
not sure about the future. just not now.
i dont want to hav choices.
'cause i dont want to make any decision.

someday, someone will.

2008-11-25T13:10:00.002+08:00

here r some pics. in case the blog is too boring. LOLx.

photos of AJ150! my PW group. =)

formal.

crazy.

ok. now is CDP'08.

cute right. LOLx.

our names.

Cheetah! =)

one photo from study session. i oni went for one so far. haha.

fiona the kid! god. shes gonna kill mi. LOLx.

ok. tis is random. aft one of the last few chinese lesson.
SMITS! xinyi fiona natalie joyce siowyun. LOLx.

another random one. aft one of the make-up lecture. LOLx.
we were playing merry go round. nth to do.

ok. nxt will b SL at the zoo!

tis is everybody wif the kids. though i tink some of the 0408 pple are not here.

tis is my group! w/o binghong. LOLx.

tis is mi hasif n seowying. hasif is quite a well-behave boy actually. sometimes like to play. but overall i tink hes ok.

tis is 31/08! LOLx.

travelling to sy's hse for BBQ.

tis is cool. LOLx. the cards we wrote n made by mummy ho!

alrite. will upload the pics at nat's hse soon.

cant stand my mum's nagging. watever!

2008-11-25T12:30:00.002+08:00

alrite. i shall post. hav been lazy n kinda busy too. LOLx.
im spending a little bit of my time. coz i shld b studying.
but. im not in the mood to. haha.

so mayb shld tok abt thurs to sun when im working.
actually nth much. i dun realli dread it.
coz its oni 4 days n im used to working alone.
haha. n tis time is not so bad coz got pple to tok to.
n oso bcoz the business was quite ok.
deres always things to do.
anyway was selling men's brief.
i find it quite interesting. LOLx.
i hope i dun sound like im a pervert.
but seriously. i didnt noe deres so many different design n cutting.
now i noe. LOLx. cant imagine guys wearing g-string.
but deres realli pple buying. haha.
n i made a new fren on sunday!
nice making new fren. though im like a dao kia. =)

anyway. sunday was a great day.
i kinda forget all the trouble n laugh throughout the day.
mayb bcoz im tokin to someone who dunno my past.
or mayb bcoz im msging wif someone who is v positive.
dat kinda make mi positive too. LOLx.

yesterday was oso a good day. haha.
had fun wif fiona and nat! =)
fiona cooked some food to nat's hse. LOLx.
ok la. its not bad alrite. but deres always improvement.
n suddenly i tink cooking is fun.
mayb i shld cook someday. haha. when im free.
oh ya. anyway. we found our way to nat's hse!
great accomplishment. LOLx.
n i told fiona. she will nvr get lose when shes wif mi. wahaha.
n she kinda insist dat its bcoz of her! haha.
so at nat's hse we were looking at her wardrobe.
finding combination of clothes dat she can wear for our nxt outing!
LOLx. but she kinda rejected it =( haha.
aft having the food n everything we went to swim!
i shall not elaborate on the swimming part.
coz its nth much la huh. swim for more than an hour lo.
decided to add some stuff in our blog we took pics!
quite a few. but nat is not free to upload tis few days.
soon la huh. will upload it soon. =)

so many frens r going overseas. so sian.
sy oredi in china. cass n joyce oredi in indo.
n today jy juz went batam. LOLx.
its so boring! n when i start working in dec i cant meet them up anymore.
dats oso the reason y i hav to do my work now.
coz i dun tink i got time in dec if im realli working.

im sorie dat i didnt go for sports club's chalet.
i noe its a great time for bonding.
but im too lazy to travel all the way to pasir ris.
n oso bcoz deres a lot of things to consider. not juz abt fun.
alrite. hope u all had fun!
im going my grandma hse today anyway.

haha. jie mei er. how dare u forget my blog url!?!?!
anyway. i wont let u sink wif mi. LOLx.
from now on. my post will b happy happy happy. haha.
but i tink u wont dare to visit since yesterday. haha.
emo elmo's blog scare pple off. =p

2008-11-18T22:04:00.002+08:00

sunday. i almost had to miss the mahjong session.
haha. thanks eddie for brightening up my day.
not by singing n tokin crap during the mahjong session.
but by saying ok to playing 3-player mahjong. LOLx.
its fun. meeting up wif old frens.
though its oni like the 3 of us. without kim.
but im glad dat even up till now we r in contact.
n we r good frens =)
at first i was winning like shit. guess my luck was ok?
my mind wasnt working v well n it seems like i forgot how to play it.
haha. but in the end its like no win no lose.
i noe dat will b the ending man. its always liddat.
so we played from 10pm to 7.30am? abt dere la huh.
other than mahjong we played blackjack too.
having breaks in b/w. tired of mahjong sometimes.
well. had mac during the midnight. sure gonna get fat.
in the morning eat mac breakfast.
not much of a choice coz its too early for anithing else.
LOLx. anyway. thanks ping for the breakfast.
do u realli tink i believe dat its FOC? haha. crazy.
i dun realli accept treats from frens. esp guy frens.
haha. but i will treat it as a treat b4 u start working.

right. so today actually supposed to hav study session.
but i was realli not in the mood to go anywhere.
im too lazy =x haha. n oso i hav to go grandma hse.
though i can actually go a few hours of study session.
n at first. yami yoghurt was my motivation to go bishan.
but in the end. i still dun feel like going. haha.
actually intended to stay at home n go grandma hse wif my mum.
end up i was too pissed dat i ask germaine out for lunch n ice cream.
i cant take it anymore! n i almost cried.
its like shit. but well. its over.

of coz. i will hav some thinking session here n dere.
mi tinkin doesnt mean dat im emo.
though most of the time i may end up crying.
but well. my tears juz come out too easily. LOLx.
cant b help sometimes.
mi tinkin is juz a way of solving problem.
coz i dun like to juz put it aside n expect it to b gone.
i nd an ans. i nd to tink thru it n get the ans.
so. i muz tink.
n im still tinkin. though i tink im almost dere.

n tis thurs to sun i will b working at bugis.
temp juz to help n i cant stand not working. LOLx.

was watching 不凡的爱.
n i realli tink the title is meaningful.
if u go tink abt it, it means alot of things.
n i start to wonder. is AIDS realli dat scary?
y everybody juz avoid AIDS victim?
i dun realli get it.
n i wonder whether i will do the same.
though i realli hope im not dat kinda person.
but seriously sometimes. nobody knows until it happens.
sometimes my frens will tell mi they will nvr do dat.
but i always tink dat when things happen it will b different.
who knows.

i always believe dat the one whom u realli love.
is the one u will nvr forget even before ur death.
so always ask urself. who do u wan to c b4 u die.
n who is the one u cant stop worrying abt even when u r on ur deathbed.
i guess dat will b the ans.
but yet again. sometimes u will oni noe the ans when u r in dat situation.
dats y. pple always live in regret by not tinkin b4 it happens.

TO MUMMY HO AND CASUARINE: BOTH OF YOU! PLAYING WITH MY TAGBOARD HUH. I THOUGHT YOU ALL ARE SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING!?!?! anyway. Joyce. don't be too violent. n Casuarine. i know you miss mi! =) LOLx.

to guesswho: i seriously don't know who you are but i know you are my friend. and i don't see why you hav to remain anonymous. i will want to thank you as a friend for saying whatever you have said.

maybe like what Ms Lam once said.
the one you love will never be your life-partner.
if we ever have a chance to meet again, i wish we have a heart to heart talk.
but if we never have the chance to, maybe we should never ever talk again.
sometimes its just too complicated to make a decision.
we will only know it when things happen.
i may be too serious in some stuff, but i never thought that you are not.

2008-11-16T16:44:00.002+08:00

alrite. i shall post. LOLx.
my blog readers were asking mi abt my blog.
as in. y i nvr post. haha.
at first i juz dun wan tis blog to b emo elmo.
but aft dat im juz lazy to blog =x haha.

i tink its thursday.
i talked to nat n at first i didnt intend to say wat im tinkin.
but aft dat. everything juz came out naturally.
watever i hav tink of the past few days.
well. i cant deny dat it feels kinda great.
but initially i nvr wan anybody to noe.
nat. dun feel bad for knowing alright. haha.
no nd apologise to mi. coz its nth.
at least i feel betta yeah.
n now i no longer tink as much i guess.

so anyway. i met huimin on fri.
v long nvr meet her n i wan to find jobs.
LOLx. so ask her acc mi lo.
shes realli enjoying her life la.
n went to eat gelare. pepperlunch for dinner.
haha. she has been a nice fren i tink.
sometimes i feel bad coz i nvr treat her as nice.
n she bought mi a rose on dat day.
haha. shes crazy. she juz buy it for fun.
but though its for fun. i still feel happy dat i hav her as my fren.
n we walked from suntect to bugis.
quite a short walk actually.

ok. now come sat! haha.
its a damn fun n tiring day.
we went to zoo for SL wif the kids!
n i will say some of them r realli cute.
some r kinda naughty n mischievous.
but overall. i find it fun n meaningful.
took some pics n will upload it as long as i got it.
haha. n aft SL we had ben&jerry.
n then we had BBQ at sy hse! its cool.
Mr Mok, Mr Chua n Mr Seng were dere.
we were glad dat they came esp. Mr Seng.
because dats the first time he meet the class outside skol.
deres lotsa BBQ food left but we were all damn full.
n during the BBQ we had guitar n singing session.
LOLx. a few of them take turn to play wif guitar while others sing.
n its kinda the first time i heard jon singing.
right. no wonder u joined choir tis yr.
its shocking. but u can realli sing. not bad.
haha. so we had fun yesterday. realli.
sorie abt the prob when settling the money issue.
thank goodness dat its over n settled.
we made cards for the 4 pple who got retest n 1 dat retain.
i tink they will all like the cards?
a relatively big card indeed. all thanks to mummy ho.
haha. alrite. JOYCE HO then.
by the time i reach home i was tired n smelly.
but i watch one tree hill until 4.30 am!
cool rit. thanks. LOLx. it muz b crazy.
but i would say its quite nice la huh.
n im juz at the beginning. haha.

so today. i was looking forward to the overnite mahjong session.
but. i guess im gonna face the disappointment soon.
haha. kim suddenly got fever n might not make it.
sad. n eddie wont wan to play 3players mahjong.
alrite. im juz not fated to touch tiles tis yr. LOLx.
or mayb its juz u dat stop mi from playing. i will always rmb.
well. i guess we hav to miss it today though i hope we wont hav to.
its gonna b boring today once again!
mayb i shld juz do some work or read a book instead. haha.

to hz: alright. i dun tink i shld put ur full name here. its weird. LOLx. n its the first time u r on my blog =x anyway. i juz wan to say dat im glad dat u r always dere. not all the time but most of the time. so i juz wanna say thanks. =) it makes mi feel betta sometimes. realli.

because it will never happen again.
you are gone. now and forever.
though deep inside me, theres still a little bit of hope.
that bit shouldn't even be there.
maybe it's just not meant to be.
no matter how hard i try, it needs two hands to clap.
nothing will ever happen with me alone.

2008-11-12T22:11:00.002+08:00

yesterday went to raffles city wif jaryl n fiona.
accompany them to collect some sponsor stuff.
i totally hav no intention to realli go out.
its juz dat. i guess i nd a place to sit down tink n tok.
so aft collecting the stuff mi n fiona went to mac.
we ate ice cream. something dat can always brighten up her day.
we were sitting n chatting dere.
yes. jaryl too. gals can tok for hours.
as long as we hav the time.
n i guess we spend more than one hour tokin.
its nvr ending. girls talk.
so on the way home i decided to give myself more time.
to sit down n tink.
tis few days. i guess i realli tink a lot. a lot.

today had CCA. played captains ball for like more than an hour.
it was damn fun. sweat like mad.
juz like wat cass say. our cca is like.
gather n hav fun!
n i still dunno whether im going to the chalet.

tis sat 3108 having BBQ at sy hse.
n on sunday. i dunno whether to play overnite mahjong.
i realli realli wan to play mahjong.
but deres a lot to tink abt if i wan to stay over.
n rit now. i realli realli wan to work.
bcoz i hate staying at home doing nth except work.
n i will rather earn money than to go out n spend it.

aft cca mi n cass went to bishan n had my favourite!
alright. though its my fave, im still afraid dat i will get sick.
i tink i might get flu or fever anytime soon.
n we talked for v long. at least 2 hours i tink.
i suggested eating yami yoghurt. its damn nice.
its yummy. LOLx.
though its a short journey going home.
i will nvr forget to tink.

sometimes mayb life is realli too tiring.
if i were to tink every single day. every single min.

i wan to buy the DMK platform!

yes. nobody will ever believe it.
because its more than two years already.
i can't believe myself too.
but i seriously do not know what's the reason.
i think that this is like a blade.
the longer you hold it the more it hurts.
until finally you will feel numb.
and you will no longer feel anything.
i don't know whether i'm at the numb stage.
for a period of time i thought i am.
but recently i just realise it still hurt somehow.
and i don't want to feel the sharpness of the blade anymore.
i know i should let it go before it hurts even more.

believe me when i say its not going to happen.

2008-11-11T20:40:00.003+08:00

i just hope that you know how much this friendship matters to me.
thanks for letting me know that our friendship is never gone.
of course. i will be happy for you.
no matter what. i will always be there.
because. i'm your friend. =)

if i'm part of your life, i will gladly face every setbacks and share every joy with you.
but sadly, i'm not.
那是过去,不是未来.

2008-11-07T17:19:00.002+08:00

im gonna post! im gonna post!
LOLx. coz today is the last day for PW!
woohoo. finally its over!
the journey has come to an end. =)

have to say sorie to jj's group.
sorie for the technical error.
LOLx. i didnt noe the batt is abt to die.
hope dat doesnt affect anithing yeah.

overall. i tink the presentation was quite okay.
well. we hav all done our best n everything.
all we can do now is to wait for the results.

AJ150! =)
i will put up our pics soon!
i believe everyone in our group learn something from each other.
n we noe dat encouragement within the group is impt.
now dat it has come to an end.
though we r no longer as a group now.
but we will still b v good frens yeah.
i noe throughout tis journey deres some unhappiness n everything.
its juz parts n parcel of it la huh.
everybody has their own attitude.
n i cant deny dat i do hav it as well.
sometimes it can b realli irritating.
thanks for bearing wif it.
but i oso cant deny dat tis PW journey has bring ur closer.
w/o tis journey. i dont tink i will b close to u pple.
i mean. coz we dun hav the chance to communicate?
Lavi. Cas. Kelvin. Victor.
n oso. we dun hav to eat mac breakfast anymore! LOLx.
ok. enough of all tis.
now. Cas n Victor. pls study real hard for ur retest.
we look forward to c u pple in 31/08 nxt yr.
same for tsewei n nella.
for shih yu. cheer up man!
of coz we may not truly understand how u feel.
but we will nvr forget u being part of 31/08.
so if we got any outing. pls b dere!
all the best for everything. =)
(i doubt shih yu will c tis anyway)

alright. deres something i muz post here abt yesterday.
i muz thank everybody who were dere yesterday.
lavi. joyce. nella. jon. shihyu. binghong.
i lost my wallet yesterday once again.
but i got it back once again.
i was unlucky. yet lucky. contradicting?
yes. its the same wallet.
n it happened twice tis yr.
its my lucky wallet.
so now i shall to abt wat happen yesterday.
its not the whole story. coz its way too long.
we went shih yu hse for OP practice.
it was somewhere at bukit batok or choa chu kang.
so we decided to hav lunch tgt n pool aft dat at CSC.
when we reach deres no table for us.
so we decided to go arcade first n booked 2 tables.
went to the arcade n played. dats the last time i saw my wallet.
aft dat we went back to play pool for 2 hours.
so when its time to go i realise my wallet is gone.
i got a shock but i tried to stay calm.
lavi ask mi where i put it n i recall.
i told her i tink its at the arcade. n she faster run to dat place.
n i run aft her. the others tot we were playing =.=
then aft dat they realise i lost my wallet.
we spent some time looking for it. walking ard.
n i even reported to the office.
we were at the arcade n we oni c 2 little malay kids.
aft reporting n everything we realise deres nth else we can do.
so we decided to juz go home.
we were waiting for the lift then suddenly bing n jon disappear.
n we tot they juz wanted to take stairs.
we tok the lift and waited for them.
then we saw the 2 kids walking out. n bing walking out wif them.
we were still wondering wat they were doing.
until bing said they suspect they stole my wallet.
coz they got one big wallet in their pocket.
n we decided to go aft them to ask for the truth.
we followed them n saw dat 2 of them stop halfway.
i cant c wat they were doing so i keep asking the gals.
but from far we cant c anithing.
b4 dat we were all hesitating whether to ask them.
coz its like. wat if they didnt steal?
but shih yu said the most we apologise if we r realli wrong.
at least deres a chance.
so he walk all the way in front.
aft we all realise dat its a wallet in their hand.
shih yu went to snatch the wallet from the 2 kids.
n we all run towards them.
its my wallet. n at first deres no money inside.
n the 2 kids deny dat they took the money.
even lied dat they wanted to return.
watever they say its like a lie.
one of them panic n aft dat started crying.
the other one doesnt seem repentful at all.
omg la. he did something wrong but hes like not guilty at all.
aft we threaten to call the police or their parents.
they finally admit.
n bcoz i use my money n folded into double heart.
they unfold the note. but tis obvious dat its mine.
they return mi the money n everything.
but. i tink. i lost at least 20bucks.
n i oni realise it when i tink thru at home.
we lectured them abt wat they hav done.
but i guess we did something wrong by letting them go.
mayb we shld at least call their parents.
well. regarding how we argue n lecture dont hav to talk abt it in detail.
but im lucky to get back my wallet aft losing it for 2 hours.
the 2 malay primary skol kid almost throw it into the drain.
i regret not scolding them at all.
im partly at fault too. but losing my own stuff.
yup. i will take v good care of it from now on.

oh ya. today aft OP had pepperlunch!
its quite nice! =p

2008-11-05T00:09:00.003+08:00

omg. life has been terrible these days.
sometimes i feel dat i cant take it anymore.
i dunno wat happen to mi.
but i tink i got PMS. terrible PMS indeed.
my attitude is like shit tis few days.
n i cant help but to scold pple =x
dats bad. its terribly bad.
n i cant stand it.

i guess im kinda stress tis few days too.
mind bursting over I&R. coz i got no GI.
i cant tink. so everything is like so screwed.
n i tink im gonna suffer emotional breakdown soon.
its not dat i wan to describe how pathetic i m rit now.
in fact. i dun like tis description of mi.
deres ups n downs in life.
its juz whether u wan to make known to pple.
n im juz being opened abt it.
so dun say dat im emo!
its juz dat i dun mind sharing.

oh. n my phone bill is gonna burst tis month.
im so damn dead.

tokin abt yesterday. had OP in the morning as usual.
aft dat had study session. maths session in fact.
juz hope whoever is taking retest realli do their best.
dun regret when u fail it once more n hav to retain.
u pple r given a chance. so make full use of it.
it was held at Nella's hse.
aft dat went chomp chomp to eat.
the food dere is not super nice. its juz food.
but the ambience dere n everything.
so overall its enjoyable. =)

today. met fiona n went my grandma hse.
we were doing I&R n planning games for sat's SL.
aft the discussion went to swim.
sadly we oni swam for an hour.
coz it starts raining.
the worse thing is it stop aft we bathe.
its damn shit. wanted to swim a bit longer.
nvm. we can swim some other day.
n i come to a conclusion dat i shld visit my grandma more often.
coz shes like quite lonely at home with the maid.

eddie saw mi at the bus stop i met fiona once again.
alright. actually i tink i did c him.
coz i saw tis presby guy like quite familiar.
but dont realli look like anyone i noe.
i check the bus number dat he alight from.
its 853. at dat time realli did tink its him.
but doesnt look like him. so i didnt say anithing.
he oso nvr say anithing!
until i reach home then he tok to mi on msn.
say he saw mi again n i cant recognise him.
well. i guess he realli change a lot.

im sorry that my feelings control my actions.
i dont think i will ever talk to you again.

2008-11-02T20:08:00.003+08:00

i was so damn pissed today.
come on. i waited for my PW group members for 1hour.
supposed to meet at 9.45.
i was on time.
n 9.45 victor msg mi n say he will oni reach at 10.30.
alright. at abt 9.50 i still didnt c the other 3.
i msg them n oni kelvin replied mi.
n guess wat. he juz left his hse n will oni reach at 11.30!
lavi n cas nvr reply mi at all. so i called them.
both of them didnt ans my call.
n at 10am. they msged mi n say they juz wake up!
i was so damn freaking pissed la.
if tis is gonna happen all the time we shld juz die.
come on la. its oredi the last week of OP!

ok. now i shall tok abt happier stuff.
abt my niece! shes cute. LOLx.
her name is aomi yamazaki.
jap character is 山﨑蒼水.
its so damn different rit.
n my sis tell mi something she find v funny but she tink is true.
study in english is written as 勉强 in jap character. LOLx.
anyway. tis is pic of my niece! =)

sometimes i dun feel like sharing things wif frens.
bcoz i feel dat he/she doesnt realli care much.
dere listening. but not dere to help u.
sometimes not even listening.
i dunno. sometimes i will feel dat way.
but i will juz tell myself to depend on myself.

i dunno why lao da will wan to keep things to herself.
no matter how much we ask. she wont say.
mayb she feel the same way as i do?
but i seriously hope. at least share it.
if not. dun let us noe u r sad.
coz i tink its quite torturing.
to c u sad. yet not noe anithing.
the worse thing is u dun say even when we ask.

i may just give up on this friendship.
coz i got a feeling i cant salvage it.
how should i even start a conversation?
will you even tell me anithing?
through your pm. i guess i noe wats happening.
but even if i tok to u, will u tell mi?
but whether u tell mi or not.
i guess i will juz b sad.

2008-11-01T11:48:00.002+08:00

alright alright. i shall post now.
LOLx. hav been wanting to post.
but im too lazy =x
so many fun things to mention! LOLx.
but i guess now its realli time to focus on OP.
I&R. and holiday homework.
i hav to finish it in nov.
so dat i can work in dec =)

ok. on 29oct i forget to mention.
its a good day! haha.
dats all im gonna say.

on 30th nov. man. its chinese A level.
n i hav nvr done such s sucky paper.
almost everyone agrees dat its a difficult paper.
i dunno. i juz dun c the hope of getting A anymore.
tinkin of having re-exam nxt yr. sian.
i nvr wan re-exam for chinese la.
nvr expect dat to happen too.
but well. its gonna happen tis time round.
alright. shall b optimistic. hope for dat A!
anyway. its over oredi.
but im pretty sure my oral will b merit.
n its sucks. coz i nvr wan to get merit too.
watever dat has not been happening.
its gonna happen. LOLx.

so aft chinese exam. we hav all decided to enjot ourselves.
i tink my class 31/08 always go for enjoyment. haha.
cas got the chance to take retest. but shih yu. not sure abt dat.
n now our class got 4 pple taking retest. we will help them!
grab the chance given to u. esp for cas.
u r realli damn lucky la.
alright. anyway so on thursday.
some of them went lan first n some of us went home to change.
LOLx. then aft dat i meet them for pool!
n it sucks. coz i gave them 4 to 5 free balls.
arghhh. i was like almost screaming down dere.
well. 3o oct. its not a good dat to play pool. LOLx.
we played for abt 3 hours n decided to go vivo for dinner n slack!
haha. its kinda fun n enjoyable seriously.
we went figs n olive for dinner.
but. its not seriously v nice though. kinda disappointing.
aft dinner we went to 3rd floor the amphitheatre dere.
n we were sitting on the grass. tinkin its fun.
but its damn sharp n pricky! LOLx.
when i lie down the immediate reaction is jump up.
haha. b4 my back got any holes =x
then at abt 10pm. they start to water the grass.
some of them run off. some of us tot it was quite cool.
tinkin dat it will juz b some watever sprinkle on u.
well. it looks realli cool.
haha. but we were wrong! its like a splash la.
so some of us get a bit wet. juz a bit la.
coz manage to run away. haha.
n dat means dat. we shld go home. n we did.
slacking n having fun outside tgt. is realli cool.

so now move on to yesterday. LOLx.
morning had PW meeting.
aft dat meet cass clement n soph for lunch n pizza hut.
then jon and cinny join us.
i hav nvr realli like pizza hut.
n yesterday. i realli tink its not v nice.
except for the ice cream =x haha.
carrying the laptop ard is super crazy. LOLx.
aft dat we got nth to do.
n we decided to watch a movie at psgv.
n we feel so cheated. we shld hav gone cathay.
coz its 10bucks for a ticket.
n we r watching some random movie.
bcoz we got nth betta to do. haha.
n we watch rec. its not nice!
we were wondering y we pay 10bucks to watch tis show.
throughout the show. mi n soph were screaming n laughing at the same time.
its not scary. its juz damn disgusting. we laugh bcoz we keep screaming.
its so bloody n everything. it sucks. the show is totally lame.
n aft dat we went to eat again. haha. food court la.
coz we hav been spending money like shit tis few days.
alright. i hav to stop spending tis few days.
but im gonna do online shopping! coz i dun feel like going out =x
haha. at least im spending my own money rit.
shall c la huh.

anyway. i was so damn pissed yesterday.
i tot u finally grow up n everything.
n wanted to tok to mi as a fren.
but well. im wrong.
whether its u or ur fren who feel like playing.
those pple r juz too childish.
i so damn feel like slapping u pple.
n i hope i nvr wan to c u again.
i was still so nice down dere.
treating u like my fren. u suck man.
u pple r juz sick.

when things liddat happen. i juz wish u were here.

i dunno whether i shld start tokin to u first.
yes. its a misundnerstanding.
but u dont seem to care to mi.
n yes. no doubt dat i will tink y m i the one doing it.
y didnt u tok to mi first?

2008-10-27T19:02:00.002+08:00

ok. i shall post now. n then study chinese ltr!
LOLx. today is another tiring n boring day.
dun feel like doing anithing. juz feel like slacking.

early in the morning go yck swim. LOLx.
ok. its like a failure for mi. as usual =x
haha. but then. ok la. slight improvement.
i will continue to jiayou de!
forget to mention dat i went wif fiona. LOLx.
sorie. coz i tink i stop u from enjoying ur swim!
mayb thurs aft chinese A level go swim again.
but im burnt once again! worse than ever.
LOLx. my face. my arm. my shoulder. my back!
i dunno how im gonna survive man. haha.
so aft swimming. went lan lo.
once again. i oni play CS!
n when i reach they r playing CS oredi. haha.
ok. i noe i hav to try loving dota.
but. its not easy to master it u noe. LOLx.
alright. i will try my best =)
ok. muz rmb to get my kayaking form n progress report signed!

i tink i nvr mention tis in my previous post.
i hope the 3 of them. Nella Victor n TseWei.
will work v hard for tis yr end retest n get promoted!
abt Cas n Shihyu leaving. wat can i say.
but i cried dat day! coz the feeling of separation. hais.
31/08 will nvr b complete anymore.

welcome my niece to the world today! LOLx.
cant c her anyway. shes at taipei. 27 oct.
not bad la huh. same date as mi! though different month.
i was telling my sis its damn weird.
coz i cant imagine myself having jap niece. LOLx.
i bet the nxt time she come to spore she wont noe who i m la.
dats quite sad yeah. haha.

juz like wat nat say.
juz like wat i hav always tink.
i may be insignificant to u.
but significant to others.
the sad thing is. u r significant to mi.

fish leong's song is nice. LOLx.
while waiting for fiona i tried listening to the song's lyrics.
n its meaningful. =)
tis is part of the chorus n the ending part.

梁静如-我们就到这

对的错的做了选择
故事说到这
只是过去的甜蜜太过深刻
要多久才能够褪色
爱的恨的做了选择
我们就到这
就让我曾爱过的记忆深刻
其他的(才能够褪色)
就此放手微笑得带过

2008-10-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

ok. since im so so bored right now.
LOLx. let mi juz post abt some lame stuff.
firstly. i hav to say something.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAVI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MINLING!
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him. haha.

ok. im very very tired now.
i tink im weak ttm now. LOLx.
anyway. ttm means to the max.
taught by mummy ho =x LOLx.
the whole day im behaving like a pig. haha.
wake up play eat study a bit of chinese.
the last thing to do of coz is slp la! LOLx.
wake up meet ger go run.
run from my hse dere to khatib.
piang. at first steady. then end up cant take it oredi.
walk home from khatib. reaching home then run again.
then climb stairs. 8 storey to my hse. haha.
by the time. my legs r oredi damn weak.
weak ttm la. sian. LOLx.
tis means i nd more training.
too long nvr run liao la.
then aft running of coz feel like eating rit.
go northpoint. buy all the rubbish to eat.
haha. totally like a pig.
juz dat pig wont like running i guess.
n now im tired. dunno wat to do!
its boring staying at home.

then fiona say tml either swim or lan.
anithing la huh. as long as not at home. haha.
staying at home is boring ttm!
i noe i shld b studying.
but seriously. not in the mood at all. LOLx.
ok. i guess dats it for today.
its too boring until i got nth to say! haha.

2008-10-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

everyday is the same.
so does tomorrow.
i shouldnt be afraid.
though i'm gonna be home alone.
i will be okay.
'cause i can't run away forever.

2008-10-23T23:03:00.005+08:00

haha. i finally got a bit of time to post!
omg. im so happy. happy coz i hav the time. LOLx.
i got so much to say la. it accummulates.
but somehow its impossible to say everything right now.
coz some oredi bcome the past.

finish WR oredi! the feeling is shiok. LOLx.
finally my OP is much betta.
but can improve a lot more.
n dats wat im going to do.
overall group effectiveness can definitely improve.
i dunno whether my group members will c tis.
but i will tell all of them tis sooner or ltr.
now its time to give encourgament more than nth else.
we shldnt demoralise any fellow members nor look down.
we should try v hard to help each other.
progressing as a whole group.
n dats y we nd to all work hard together.
whether its oni for one or two person or the whole group.
dats the teamwork we nd to hav.
n once again. i hav to remind everyone the importance of responsibility.
responsibility in life. dats v impt.
JIAYOU everyone! =)

though i believe everyone tink dat PW is shit.
juz like wat i used to believe.
part of mi still feel so. sorie mr mok.
but. wat u hav said today realli struck mi.
coz i believe we all learn from tis PW journey.
how to deal wif pple n how to b responsible.
how to work wif pple n how to improve urself.
n of coz. learning abt the project dat we r doing.
tink abt it. do u noe abt the project u r doing b4 u start the journey?
i believe the ans is no.
wat im trying to say is.
we do noe abt it in the past.
but issit as much as wat we noe now? definitely not.
n PW allows us to tink in different perspectives n scales.
its like critical tinkin. essential in our life.
yes. the journey is tough n everything.
but we can nvr deny the fact dat it teach us something somehow.

soon. we will hav A Level chinese.
n soon aft dat. OP. the end of PW journey.
i realli wan dat day to come.
but to tink of it, its scary.

i guess i nd to work a little harder for my future.
to get into the faculty i wan to.
its not easy. at least 3 or 4 As.
but. i will try my best.

bcoz i hav to work during the holidays.
im going to sacrifice a lot of things.
n no matter how busy i m.
i hav to take good care of my dog.
snowy. i will try my best.

yes. i msged him.
coz i cant help but to worry for him.
i nvr wan to c him flunk his exams.
the day is reaching soon.
but i dont even noe whether i will wish him.

im sorie nat. n fiona. LOLx. i haven exactly move on.
i dunno whether i will.
though i noe dats wat im supposed to do.
ok. dont worry abt mi.
coz even if i stuck dere forever i will still b happy. haha.

once again, i have to emphasise dat i hate liars.
i seriously hope you didnt lie to me.
but wat if u did? deres nth i can do.
it juz shows how insignificant i m to u.
i realli tot we were close fren.
but ur actions tell mi otherwise.
mayb like wat ger say.
its all juz wat i tink. n u dun feel the same way.
but i guess the thing dat affect mi the most.
is u lied and refuse to tell mi a single thing.
so wats the point of showing mi attitude?
im not going to force u if u dun wan to say.
i ask. bcoz dats wat i wan to noe.
but u hav every right to not answering.
the thing is. nvr lie to mi. coz i hate it.
im disappointed. im affected.
not bcoz of the truth dat i found out.
but bcoz i didnt noe dats wat our friendship is all abt.
coz to mi. the thing dat matters to mi.
is the many years of friendship dat we shared.
n i guess im wrong to tink dat its strong enough.
whether its a truth its still a mystery.
u r the oni one with the ans.
n the sad thing is. we r not dat close aft all.
dats wat i hav realise.
but i guess i hav no right to noe the truth anyway.

just like wat i hav told fiona.
i will always b in ur life.
but u will nvr notice mi.
but wat i care now. is realli the friendship.

moved on? i realli don't know.

2008-10-17T22:28:00.003+08:00

yeah man. today is friday! LOLx.
finally can relax a bit. but still.
the journey of PW cant seem to hav a pause.
now everyday is about PW.
and my OP rehearsal. haha. it sucks.
dun remind mi of dat but i will work v hard.
its less than a month to the end!
lets just JIAYOU all the way ba.

the day is getting nearer.
but i seriously dunno wat i shld do.

i finally saw it with my own eyes today.
n thats when i realise watever i tink is not true.
wat i see is true.
im disappointed. but dats juz the fact.

2008-10-12T00:04:00.002+08:00

so sorie cass! cant go out wif u all today.
bcoz of PW, PW n PW. boring.
tml morning gonna hav PW meeting oredi.

i always believe that one shld tink of the pple ard them before doing anithing.
wats the point of doing something and in the end cause trouble to pple.
pointless.

of all pple. i didnt ever tink dat its her.
its so unpredictable.
anybody seem possible.
although its sad dat we no longer tok.
but i believe its better coz i hav to get u out of mi.
glad dat u hav found someone u love.
i juz dun wan to care abt someone who dun care abt mi.

2008-10-10T22:06:00.002+08:00

oh man. its friday! haha.
today we had farewell assembly for the J2s.
n i guess many schools hav their graduation ceremony too.
the feeling of separation again. 离别. LOLx.
its sad la. though not super close wif the seniors oso.
oni got some which are quite close. esp cheetah cheerleading.
hopefully we will meet up some time soon? not sure too.

anyway. the day is finally over.
thursday is the day when everyone noe whether they live or die.
haha. no la. not so scary.
but seriously. everyone is afraid of retaining.
its true dat its not toally a waste to spend another yr to get the concept right.
n succeed in the future.
but the feeling of retaining n the feeling of not being wif ur fren nxt yr.
its definitely terrible.
as far as we wan the whole class to promote tgt.
sometimes it doesnt seem possible.
now dat all of us hav got back our results.
some pple r sad some r happy. but most r not happy.
even if u r happy wif ur own results u r sad to c pple cry.
u will b sad to c pple worrying abt retaining.
n of coz worry for them as well.
n all shih-yu say is. its nice to meet u pple.
i seriously hope everyone will promote n we will stay tgt as a class.
whoever it is. we dun wan to leave anyone behind.
pray hard dat they will b given a 2nd chance.

for mi. i was realli disappointed wif most of my results.
i would say dat i realli did improve from mid years.
but it has not reach my expectation.
maths is a B again. sian. percentage pass is abt 58%.
i noe i shld b glad la. coz i noe i cant get A.
n b4 thurs i was praying dat i will get a B.
coz i tink i will cry if i get a C.
nvr in my life i did so badly for maths la.
so although B is good enough i still hope one day i can get my A.
bcoz its maths.
bio is a B again. LOLx. %AB is abt 60%.
its hard to imagine coz i always fail bio in sec skol.
but i noe i can do a lot betta.
i dun tink its v difficult. getting A is not difficult.
but for bio. im kinda contented dat its a B la.
econs. im kinda glad dat at least i pass.
but i realli do not noe whether dats all i can get.
i got an E. %pass is oni abt 33%. but i tink got moderation.
i will continue to work hard for it.
chem is totally a disappointment. im so sorie Mrs Wong.
she said the same thing as wat she told mi during mid years.
xinyi. since the beginning of the year u hav been underperforming.
i noe u got the potential but dunno y u nvr do well.
mayb u nd more practice.
i did practice tis time ah! n i dun tink i dunno my concept lo.
but i believe i can. i believe i can do well for chem.
tis time oni got a D. realli disappointing.
GP. i finally improve in my essay. by a bit oni la.
but. my compre totally pull mi down. my god.
i dunno wat to say. all i can say is i will work harder.
most of us did worse than our mid years.
chinese is the oni subject im quite happy abt. LOLx.
juz as wat i hav tot. my essay is totally crap.
i write halfway i dunno wat i writing oredi.
dats y the front part is good but the middle part is crap.
luckily in the end still got my A.
n im v happy wif my paper 2.
though the first compre did quite badly.
but overall i did a lot betta than my mid years.
so overall i got ABBDEE. no C again.
i tink its quite ugly lei. wif 2Es. LOLx.
nvm. i will work harder nxt time. JIAYOU! =)

since we all get back our results le.
i tink we shldnt b sad over whats oredi over.
but focus on wats in front of us n our future.
like PW. boring. LOLx.
hav been doing PW n PW n PW. everyday. *faint*

but dat day still went to LAN wif the class.
once again. class means the few pple.
its always the same pple going out la. LOLx.
spending so much on playing. bankrupt oredi.
i like to play CS seriously. i dun like dota! =x
haha. coz i dunno how to play.
thanks jj n jaryl for teaching mi dat day.
improve my skill for CS n at least i attempted dota.
but i dunno how to kill! totally suck at it.
we shall c how nxt time.

2008-10-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

i dont know how im feeling right now.
sad? happy? neutral?
but seriously. i didnt lie when i say im perfectly fine.
im feeling quite neutral.
perhaps bcoz things hav never change? its still the same.

im glad that u hav found ur motivation.
at least u wont b the way u r anymore.
though i hav been lecturing u the whole day.
i noe her words mean much more to u than mine.
well. i tink i shld b happy for u.
coz i realli hope u wont b the same anymore.
whoever dat change u.
whether its dat girl or u urself. i will still b happy.

finding someone u love is good.
so im realli glad to c u happy. =)

i finally found someone more emo than mi.
WONG SIOWYUN! LOLx.

2008-10-04T14:11:00.002+08:00

PHOTOS! =p

ok. im going to post photos dat i didnt post like super long ago. not gonna post super long ago one. shall post from going back zhss on teachers' day celebration. =)

they hav tis board, dedicating to the teachers. so we reach dere n start writing all over the board. c how much we miss zhss. n how much we love our class. 4e4'07!

mainly done by pakmeng n sophia. LOLx.

aft dat we went to glasshosue fish n co. took some pics.

LOVES!

ok. now back to 31/08! LOLx. we celebrated our class birthday dat day. mr n mrs mok was dere too!

see what stupid jaryl n jon r doing. LOLx.

mi n clar. =)

mi n sy. =)

lastly. dat day SMITS went out! juz b4 we meet the class for dinner. aft promos. LOLx. n we decided to take neos. yeah. shall show some of them n not all ba.

the end!

2008-10-04T13:13:00.002+08:00

its weekends! n im gonna stay at home.
LOLx. bcoz. hav been going out on weekdays.
its damn weird rit. haha.
but anyway. had great fun tis whole week.
since im so free now shall tok a little abt it.

wednesday. had OP practice in the morning.
aft dat went to meet the class again. LOLx.
n they decided to go LAN. i didnt play much.
coz i tink playing w/o understanding is no point.
so i decided to juz watch n learn.
n i tink. dota is realli not easy.
when u juz started its difficult to master it.
it realli takes time.
mr chua. u dun hav to apologise to mi!
wat u hav said is true. juz dat its 2 years ago. LOLx.

thursday. my god. its our OP day.
we r supposed to practice our OP in front of the class.
ok la. its juz in front of classmate. so still ok.
but. haha. i tink i screw it.
n the whole group didnt do v well oso.
nvm! we can continue to jiayou! =)
tis few days nvr realli do anithing abt PW la.
was like slacking throughout. LOLx.
but nono. we will start to work on it soon!
it will b over in 1 month's time.
we need to tink far to hav a happier life. LOLx.
bcoz of OP i slept at 3am in the morning. piang.
aft the OP which ends at abt 1.
i actually wanted to go home n slp. haha.
but aft dat i realise slping is a v boring thing to do.
n my class 31/08! juz like to go out n hav fun.
haha. end up we go AMK hub to eat lunch.
eat fish n co. LOLx. my god. like enjoying our life.
aft dat we went jaryl's hse to play rock band!
aft playing a while i fell aslp at his hse. LOlx.
was so tired la can. n the guys were practicing for their 5 stars.
nth to do then slp lo. haha.
but had great fun realli.
i tink aft promo we keep tinkin of slacking n having fun la.
which can b good n bad lo.
everyday aft skol we will juz start tokin abt where to go.
w/o prior planning. coz we juz dun feel like going home. LOLx.
so i shld say we go out as a class. its always the usual pple.
can we say dat we r like a 'clique'?
when going out its always us. but its more than 10 of us la.
but we had great fun all the time.
its bcoz of their presence dat i feel i can live happily w/o him.
dats y im glad dat i hav them. =)
come to tink of it. since im so free i shall write friendship card!

now can tok abt yesterday. was realli a fun n tiring day.
in the morning we did sandcastle building!
its like our post promo activity.
its v fun n realli learn a lot. patience. perserverence.
my god. its realli not as easy as wat we tink la.
to do a realli good one hav to put in lotsa effort.
im waiting for the pics on wat we hav built.
we didnt build a castle. we build other things.
i shall tok abt it oni aft i get the pics. haha.
but bcoz of dat. i got sunburn!
not oni mi la. like everybody? LOLx.
n aft dat its supposed to a class outing at ECP.
but in the end. as usual. its the few of us again.
its v disappointing. but wat can we do?
luckily. we still had fun though we dun hav the whole class.
we went cycling n inline skating. LOLx.
i chose to skate. bcoz v long nvr skate oredi.
i dun wan to forget everything the nxt time i skate.
but. i tink i kinda suck at it. n i did forget some of the things.
n i fell once! w/o realising though.
as in. i juz turn to look at aj pple n fell.
kinda bad i feel. coz its a bit pain. LOLx.
but its ok! we had fun. mi nat n clar were skating!
aft dat some of them went home left 10 of us.
n we went to LAN. LOLx. played CS.
kinda shiok. we oni play like 2 hours n it passed realli fast.
haha. juz like wat clar say. our class is realli cool.
we can even go LAN tgt. even the gals r playing.
yesterday was 5 gals n 5 guys. haha.
dota. i tink dat needs a bit more time to learn.
so nxt time c how la huh. LOLx.
like wat nat says. we go out as a class more than we go out as a clique.
as in. SMITS. the 5 of us. its a bit weird la.
coz i tink most pple used to go out wif a small group of pple?
instead of 10 over pple most of the time. haha.
but its realli fun. =)
31/08 rocks to the max! i tink we love our class a lot.
sorie joyce. i cant eat dinner wif u all yesterday.
hav to rush home la. sometimes got no choice.
hope u all had great fun! =p

n today im gonna stay at home. mayb tml oso.
haha. i finish hana yori dango today!
n now i feel kinda bored. dunno wat to watch.
mayb gossip girls? mayb sy will recommend other jap show oso.
haha. nvm. i shall wait.
i noe i shld go finish my twilight. i will do dat ltr!
monday we gonna hav another volleyball session! yes. haha.

thanks jaryl. dat conversation is quite random.
though u didnt exactly ans dat chim question.
but we u hav said struck mi.
yes. u r right. erase dat hope.
but mayb deres no hope in mi.
juz dat i wish n wan dat to happen. dumb mi as usual.
but no. things gonna change. it wont b the same.
i will no longer b the same.
i will get both of them out of my mind. =)

2008-10-01T00:45:00.003+08:00

luckily its all over.
i manage to calm myself down n now i feel much betta.
n dats the reason y deres nth abt PW.
if not. #$%&@#$. yeah.

yesterday went to play volleyball at bishan ACTIVE.
mi n fiona hav been trying hard. realli.
n we will continue to jiayou!
jarly too! u betta not run away.
u r supposed to coach us!
n now my left hand is realli weak.
if u pple do not noe.
i write wif my right hand but play wif my left hand.
bcoz im actually a left-hander.
aft dat went into cat high.
fiona is v proud of it =x
anyway. we played in the rain n had fun.

i realise the reason im living is for my frens.
bcoz i wan to b dere for them.
my greatest hope now is to hav the trust of pple.
listen n understand them when they nd mi.
always b dere.
trust. the thing dat keeps mi going.

maybe you are right.
we will never forget. but it has become a past.
i dont know what makes it a past.
should i be glad that it once happened?
or should i be sad 'cause it should not happen in the first place?
i dont even know whether i can treat you as my friend.
i should move on. i can do it right.
我们之间剩下的只有回忆。

i dont know whether i should ask.
but so what if i know who the person is.
as long as i know it wont be me.

2008-09-28T10:52:00.002+08:00

brought my dog to the vet dat day.
n it realli cost a bomb.
i realli shld work so dat i wont feel bad asking my parents to pay for it.
n 2 weeks ltr i hav to bring him back to the vet.
now every morning n nite i hav to wash his leg n everything.
so i guess. on normal skol days i nd to wake up at 5.30?
i tink abt dere ba. to wash his legs.

i believe problems make one grow.
n as one grow he has more responsibility in life.

yesterday went shopping wif ger.
bought a high waist skirt. LOLx.
ok. it hurts to spend money.
but i dun do dat all the time.

dat day SMITS went out n we took neos!
LOLx. coz we juz noe each other tis year.
nvr had chance to take any neo. so yeah.
i scan all of them but im so lazy to upload =x

when u said no offense i realli feel offended.

u will b out of my heart coz i noe u dun care.

2008-09-25T11:39:00.003+08:00

WOOHOO! haha. exams' finally over.
how can i not post today!?!?!
i nvr post for quite some time oredi.
sorie abt dat.
but the worse thing dat can happen to mi tis period of time is.
im sick during promos! god.
fever dat goes off n back again. sucks to the max.
imagine taking exams when u r having fever!
n im coughing like shit. non-stop la. hais.
n ya. now dat exams' over. my fever is gone.
BUT. my cough is still dere. *faint*
nvm. at least now can relax a bit =)
sorie to the pple whom my cough disturbed during the exam.
i tink i wun fail any paper tis time?
coz i realli did studied =)
i wont say i will do well la. but i tink the most fail one paper ba.
seriously hope so. LOLx.

thanks yongjie for the crap the last few days =x
haha. coz i hav been tinkin dat i will die.
as in. i tink i will fail my promos la.
coz i cant study n aft eating medicine feel like slping oredi.
then i cant tink. in my mind deres oni crap.
damn depress dat few days seriously.
so hav to thank him for making mi laugh.
n thank all my frens for their care. =)
thanks Mr Mok for finding classroom for mi jj n bh.
LOLx. we r all sick n having fever.
n our exams venue all in aircon room.
so we had our exams in a separate classroom.
sorie for troubling u but realli thank u for wat u hav done for us. =)
thanks my mum for taking care of mi.
buying medicine. trying all ways to cure my sickness.
its realli quite irritating to cough w/o stopping.
n i tink i finish abt 3 to 4 bottles of cough medicine oredi.
yet. the cough is still dere.
n i c like 2 to 3 docs?? LOLx. total waste of money =x
now dat exams' over. i shall start reading twilight! haha.
see how long i will take la hor =x
mayb i will surprise u pple. haha.

ok. im gonna relax. im gonna enjoy.
b4 i start working on PW again.
be positive. its gonna b over soon! LOLx.

in kinda shock dat i dun feel anithing for u anymore.
or mayb bcoz i noe u like someone else.
or mayb bcoz i hav someone else. LOLx.
but seriously. dat day. i realli tink it thru oredi.
n let it b ba. even if one day we lose contact.
coz eventually we will lead our own life.
i hope tis feeling will last.
coz i nvr wan to b back again.
i dun wan to stuck dere like forever.

i cant deny dat i did feel something.
but. i dun dare to feel it.

2008-09-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

im truly affected by it.
did u realli do do dat on mi??
wats the reason of doing so??
questions here and dere.
and hes the oni one who can give mi the ans.
but. im not going to tok to him.
wat m i supposed to do??
juz ignore him??
hais. i nd to noe the true definition of 'moving on'.

when im quiet, it doesnt mean that im happy.
when i didnt talk about anithing, it doesnt mean that nothing has happened.
in fact, everything is just there.

im not happy :(

2008-09-11T10:16:00.002+08:00

i didnt go to school today. LOLx.
going to c doc soon. to get MC.
ok la. i dun realli noe wat exactly happen yesterday.
but i didnt set my alarm clock.
i dunno y. mayb coz i was too tired?
i was sick tis few days.
cough sore throat n a bit of flu.
but yesterday i felt betta n went to school.
i find a nd to go skol recently coz promos is coming.
dun wan miss any impt concept.
but anyway. yesterday i realli feel ok.
but when i reach home i start to hav sore throat n everything again.
LOLx. fiona heard my voice la hor.
stop saying i sound man! coz i noe.
haha. n now i almost cant tok at all.
realli no voice oredi. i swear.
luckily oral is over man. if not i will die. LOLx.
n i wake up at 7plus. which is like totally late?
so my mum ask mi stay at home to rest n go c doc.
i tink i shld oso. take one day of break go back skol tml.
juz dat today is thursday. im missing a lot of lesson.
so i tink im going skol ltr to copy today's notes.
n oso coz i cant study bio at home. LOLx. will fell aslp.
so i tink its betta if i go skol n study.

anyway. got a few pple nd to thank.
thanks huimin for being a nice fren.
thanks jonny for being a nice fren n thanks for the cake.
LOLx. i realli got a shock dat day.
coz seriously. i no nd a cake for apology. haha.
moreover. u r oredi forgiven!
but still. thanks for waking up early to bake the cake.
sorie abt dat oso. LOLx.
thanks cass for sharing wif mi.
thanks jiayan for listening to mi most of the time.
thanks all my frens la hor. =)
thanks Mr Tan. nat told mi oredi. haha.
sorie if dat para disturbs u.
but im seriously alrite. its juz some reflection.
i mean in some point of time sure a bit emo??
type a bit here nvm one rit. LOLx.
but still. thanks for ur concern.
n thanks for visiting my blog n tagged!
unlike some pple. visit le nvr tag. =x LOLx.
juz kidding ok. pple. dun take it to heart. haha.

ok. i nd to study nd to study nd to study.
LOLx. im convincing myself.
will upload photos soon! =)

2008-09-05T23:13:00.004+08:00

oh man. im such a slacker. LOLx.
i nvr study for days??
but ok la. i promise myself to chiong aft dat.
i have been watching 命中注定我爱你.
come on. its v nice. once u start it u cant stop it.
LOLx. ok. so i chiong finish dat show.
finish the last ep today! haha.
then i tell myself i muz realli start studying oredi.
i tink im dead la. nvm. 加油，黄欣怡。
ok. i tink im crazy over dat show. LOLx.
n i went to find the soundtrack today. found it!

anyway. i went out to explore today!
LOLx. i went to exchange my cable for the external hard disk.
the reason y i say i explore.
bcoz i dunno where issit. haha.
but i manage to find my way dere! cool rit.
finding an unknown place on ur own can b fun. haha.
reach home then study abit. but im tired oredi.

its holiday tis week!
but no feel of holiday at all. LOLx.
tue n wed go to skol. until so late.
the rest of the days like studying?
but ok. im not realli studying.
but realli no holiday mood la! LOLx.
n its coming to an end soon.
tml going to cele grandfather's birthday.
shld i go for the ktv? i dun tink i shld.
i shld go home n study!

LOLx. i realise i v long nvr post oredi. omg.
i didnt even wish my class happy birthday.
nvm la hor. anyway oni abt 14 of us went??
the usual pple. kinda disappointing but yeah.
mr n mrs mok was dere too.
LOLx. we went to eat at cafe cartel.
aft dat both of them left.
so we go marina square. pool n arcade.
LOLx. pool is so fun!
ok. took some ugly pics. might upload soon.
deres a lot of photos to upload. but im lazy =x haha.

im too lazy to type out the maluating GP make-up lesson.
mayb tok abt dat when im realli free ba. LOLx.

had our last inline skating lesson on wed.
the last lesson was realli fun.
coz we had our lesson in a carpark due to wet weather.
but i believe all of us had great fun. realli.
though albert was not dere.
LOLx. i haven realli thank the instructor.
esp. albert n jon. coz they taught mi! haha.
albert. hes now in china. beijing i tink? dun rmb. LOLx.
mayb tok to him when hes back ba.
jon. bandana man. 华文老师. bcoz his chi v good.
haha. the one who call mi 呱呱妹.
LOLx. he like to give pple nickname la.
but anyway. he stop calling mi dat oredi. so nvm.
mike didnt realli teach mi. so ya.
its over oredi. juz hope dat if i go skating again i will c them. LOLx.
fun instructors realli.

yesterday huimin suddenly tell mi she will drop by my hse.
n she say shes gonna bring mooncake for mi n mum.
my god. so sweet rit. LOLx.
i realli wan to thank her.
but i dont know how to express my gratitude.
i feel bad dat i nvr hav time to meet her up.
no matter wat. u will b my BFF! =)

i tink everybody is busy wif their own things.
w/o realising dat they lose something.
neglecting pple they shldnt hav.
sometimes i ask myself.
wats the point of studying when in the end all u hav is a proper job?
in the end u might juz lose ur family frens etc.
wats the point of earning lotsa money in the future when u dun hav the chance to take good care of ur family, repay them for wat they hav done for u.

we are the same.
living in denial when we noe the truth.
why.

我相信上天的安排，
遇见你是我一生中最快乐的事。
就算我们不再联络，不再见面，
你永远会在我心里深处的一个角落。
也许我这辈子都不会忘记你，
但我会把你当作我生命背后的故事。
我不会活在自己的梦境里。
在这现实生活里，我会变得更坚强
命中注定我爱你。

2008-08-29T20:38:00.002+08:00

today is Teachers' Day celebration!
aj aces was realli lame. LOLx. c no point in it.
but the performance was ok. haha.
jonny performed! though its kinda short.
12 lotus actors came n sang too. quite surprising.
yesterday we went sy hse to bake cake n cookies.
reaching 12 then reach home.
everytime go home aft 11 i will wonder how i shld walk home.
to walk a longer way or the shorter. which one is safer.
coz met quite a few incident.
i tink i hav to learn to b strong.
i shldnt b afraid of such things.
in fact deres nth to b afraid of.
but anyway. thanks jj for sending mi home yesterday.
LOLx. n i realise mayb its not dat dangerous aft all.

so anyway. went back to zhss today.
its quite bad coz i saw dat particular group of pple.
i realli dun wan to c them.
they r simply juz too sucky.
so i juz ignore them n walk pass. it kinda spoil my day.
anyway. saw a few teachers today.
though i didnt c pple whom i wish to c.
i dunno whether to b happy or sad.
coz mayb it realli means dat its time to forget.
we stay in zhss until abt 12plus.
aft dat we went the glass house fish n co.
LOLx. im glad dat it was quite successful.
abt 19 of us including poh poh. LOLx.
ok. its always the usual pple. but we still had fun! =)
tis kinda gathering is good enough seriously.
n i noe. most of us miss each other somehow.
though we r not super close.
many of us do miss the life in zhss. realli.
anyway. met joyce n jazreel dere! LOLx. quite cool.
aft dat some of them went to watch 4bia.
i was quite reluctant to go off but i hav to.
coz hav to cele ziyan's birthday. LOLx.
ziyan was my OGL for the 1st intake.
so. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIYAN!
lolx. another surprise birthday.
bcoz i realli realli wan to watch 4bia.
i ask all of them to watch wif mi! haha.
ok la. actually oni a few of us.
its nice la. ok la. not bad. its quite scary.
i tink i realli did scream. LOLx. feel quite sucky though.
aft the movie. we went home. im damn tired la.
yesterday slept at 2am to do SC teachers' day card.
wake up early in the morning at 5plus 6. LOLx.

i realli dunno whether i shld b happy or sad.
mayb its mixed feeling ba.
sometimes i dunno wat im tinkin oso.
i noe it doesnt matter to him anymore.
i noe im nth to him now.
i noe im no longer in his heart.

i realli do feel disappointed.
how i wish u could tell mi.
at least dat will make mi feel betta.

i feel like tokin to somebody.
but i dunno wat to tok abt.
i dunno who to tok to as well.

2008-08-26T22:26:00.002+08:00

confession of the day

im sorie that i didnt do my job well enough.
i promise that the same thing wont happen again.
i will do my job well.

blaming myself for not being able to keep my mouth shut.
im sorie that i once let it out. or probably a few times.
i know i lost the trust you have once given to me.
maybe sometimes its better to know nothing at all.
though i wish i could always be the one.
im disappointed if you are never gonna tell me.
but i have no right to know in the first place.

im emotionally unstable. im attitude. im rude.
im sorie and please forgive me.
i know i need to learn to control myself.

i know you are suffering as well.
i know you are more hurt than i do.
i know among us all you are the one who deserve our comfort.
i know the way i treat you is wrong.
i dont mean to treat you the way i do.
but have you seriously think of me?? how i actually feel.
how i feel after all that has happened.
how i feel when things remain as bad as it is.
i dont know what i should do.
smiling at him is wrong. frowning at him is wrong too.
yet i cant treat that i dont know him at all.
i cant treat that he doesnt exist.
what am i supposed to do?
i realli do not know.

a dream spoils the day.
why will i even dream of that??
a dream that will NEVER come true.
an unforgettable dream.
just like you to me.
always there. forever.

2008-08-22T21:23:00.003+08:00

HAHA. its been long since i last post man.
i decided to relax a bit today coz had 2 tests tis week.
but of coz i will still do a bit of PW.
aft the econs test today was realli shiok.
ok. anyway. i shall recall wat happen last week.

the reason i nvr post is bcoz i was realli busy.
not dat im v free now. LOLx.
anyway. last friday was realli a v exciting day.
its good to c aj pple staying behind aft skol.
for wat? to watch table tennis team semi-finals!
LOLx. n i realli got a shock when i walk out of the lecture hall.
everybody is like cheering? everywhere in the skol.
nexus. outside LTs. outside GO. in the canteen.
oh. come on. the canteen was full. wif pple sitting n standing.
its like. omg. so interesting! LOLx.
n everybody was like cheering everytime spore score a point!
n while mi n cas was tokin to mr mok at the umbrella area.
we were so hoping dat we could watch the match.
but we noe the results when we hear pple cheering.
LOLx. it juz means dat spore score a point! haha.
it was realli cool. like seriously.
spore won the semi-finals but lost to china during the finals.
but its ok! i mean china is realli strong? LOLx.
many of us was impressed by feng tianwei. realli.
ok. other than tis i dun rmb a thing. haha.

back to tis week!
juz finish watching the table tennis singles finals n semi-finals.
wang yuegu was out during the third round.
sad for her when shes world ranking no. 6.
she shldnt hav lose seriously.
watever the reason is. its over.
feng tianwei realli played well tis time.
but shes realli unlucky. met zhang yining n couldnt get into semi-finals.
i find the competition quite unfair actually.
juz bcoz she met the word ranking no. 1.
who knows. mayb she can win wangnan or guoyue?
i mean. y not. we will nvr noe until they compete.
feng tianwei definitely has the ability to go into the top 5.
her scores wif zhang yining was close.
in the semi-finals li jiawei played wif zhang yining.
she lost the game but i believe she did her best.
i shld say she did well. her scores r close too.
eventually she still get fourth aft losing to guoyue.
i tink she realli perform well tis time.
sad. coz tis shld b the last time shes playing in olympics.
i was impressed by wangnan when she was playing wif zhang yining.
esp the first few games when shes winning.
i tink she realli played well. n she always smile. LOLx.
dat was good. i like her.
i was hoping dat she will beat zhang yining.
why? bcoz someone beat world ranking no. 1!
she has been winning every game?
if wangnan were to win zhang yining, she will b famous.
anyway. all the way to spore! u all hav done well tis time =)
mi n sy was excited over it n we couldnt concentrate during chem lesson today.
LOLx. n i msg sy aft every game during the bronze-medal match.
she was unable to watch. n i hav to announce the results.
i spend abt 2 hours watching? but i tink its worth it.
though we always come to tis controversial issue dat they r from china.
i mean ya they r from china. but they willingly represent spore.
n spore is not the oni country having china players representing them.
they hav the right to choose which country to represent.
when opportunity was given to them. y not do it?
though i dun quite understand y singaporeans cant play as well.
i hope. nxt time we could c singaporeans playing n winning.
LOLx. dat will b the biggest achievement.

anyway. for tis week. deres alot of work to do. as usual.
LOLx. we can nvr run away from all the work.
n tml im going to the lib early in the morning wif ger. to study.
JIAYOU! we can do it!
had 2 tests tis week. econs n maths.
econs. hopefully i can pass? i realli did study tis time.
though i didnt write everything dat i studied down.
but at least i tink the points r dere? haha.
i dun ask for much. juz a pass n i mean D.
for maths. i didnt realli finish.
but hopefully i can get abt 23 or 24 over 30?
LOLx. shall not aim too high. coz didnt realli do well.
nd to work hard for PW oredi.
though our efforts r not wasted. WR draft 1 was ok.
of coz deres more things to do. but at least its ok.
JIAYOU! work hard for promos.

2008-08-09T13:47:00.003+08:00

i just reached home!!! LOLx.
yesterday was a very fun day. haha.

ok. yesterday we celebrated national day.
whole day no lesson! haha. dats the best thing man.
then we had a concert. n its realli nice.
i tink jeryl dance v well la. my god. LOLx.
ok. anyway. the performance was cool! realli.
then we had the connect singapore thingy.
at first tot if will b quite fun.
but end up i tink its a failure la.
we didnt noe when it started n when it ended.
suddenly teacher juz say ok. go back aj. LOLx.
we dun even noe dat it has ended. so ya.
but as a class we had quite a lot of fun.
took some pics n video! shall upload if i hav the chance.

aft dat we went sentosa! LOlx. siloso beach.
we had great fun dere realli.
although its quite disappointing dat not the whole class was dere.
but its still v fun! Mr. Chua was dere too! LOLx.
for guys oni jaryl victor jonny jiajin n shih-yu went.
for gals we have nat fiona joyce siowyun clar lavi cas n mi! haha.
its like so fun la. we played beach volleyball soccer captains ball.
we r so determine to learn beach volleyball la. LOLx.
jaryl is out coach. haha. its damn fun.
ever Mr. Chua played wif us! its damn cool.
for those who dunno who is Mr. Chua.
i shall give a short intro n prob upload photos some time ltr.
LOLx. actually we didnt take alot of pic at sentosa lo.
anyway. Mr. Chua is a v cool teacher.
hes not realli a teacher la. hes gonna start skol at NUS soon.
graduated from Hwa Chong. but hes damn funny.
he like to say 'WATEVER'. lolx.
n he plays dota soccer n everything.
hes juz take our class for bio abt 2 to 3 weeks.
but hes realli damn funny.
he teach bio concept by using dota terms n everything.
making the whole class laugh all the time.
n he like to say dat hes busy. bcoz hes batman. he nd to save pple.
haha. n he nd to teach n do research during the day.
ok la. hav to admit dat hes realli kinda busy la.
but he still went sontosa wif us yesterday! haha.
hes well-liked by many classes la.
n i will always rmb. u muz hav PASSION for bio! haha.
its hard to imagine dat yesterday might b the last day we c him.
but hopefully we can c him like aft our promos? hmm.
ok. anyway. we leave siloso beach at abt 8.
had our dinner n went to jaryl's hse!
haha. we r staying over at his hse. my god. its damn fun la.

who went his hse. ok. some came late some went home early.
but in general. gals we hav steph siowyun fiona joyce clarissa n mi!
then guys got jiajin tsewei joseph binghong shih-yu victor n of coz jaryl.
LOLx. my god. when we reach his hse we started playing.
his hse like got everything? haha.
we played cards. we played PS.
then we watched movie! i took a short nap during the movie =x
haha. some pple couldnt take it n almost everybody slept at 4plus?
about dat la. then at 5plus oni left mi n jaryl. LOLx.
we played DDR from 5plus to 7plus. haha. so fun!
i was laughing so hilariously n he tink dat im crazy.
esp when he say im worse than yongjie.
omg. how can that b. LOLx. but dat was initially.
its like so fun n im determine to master it. like seriously.
ok la. deres improvement ok.
jaryl is realli gd at it la. but i will impove one! haha.
he juz couldnt slp. if not i will b the survivor! LOLx.
hes competing wif mi la. keep asking mi to stop playing n go slp.
haha. no way! im not gonna slp.
he did slp a while lo. but he claim dat he didnt. LOLx.
watever! anyway, we had great fun! haha.
n then when everybody woke up they all say the same thing.
wa. xinyi still playing DDR ar. LOLx. haha. fun wat.
i was perspiring like mad in the air-con room. LOLx.
if i got DDR at home i guess i will juz keep playing la.
but when everybody woke up i went to slp =x haha.
slept from abt 8 to 10.30. LOLx.
aft i woke up i realise they r playing rock band.
LOLX. another game of jaryl's. it damn fun.
but i simply juz suck at it. LOLx.
basically deres a drummer. 2 guitarist and a singer. haha.
i suck at drum la. though its damn cool la. LOLx.
guitar still ok. juz nd more practice.
i dun care! if i ever had the chance again i will train till siao. haha.
ya. so we played had our lunch n here i am. HOME!
LOLx. the feeling is like back from a chalet?
coz i believe everybody did enjoy themselves. juz a bit tired oni.
n come to tink of it. deres alot of work nd to b done.

i did tink of some stuff for a moment at sentosa.
thanks nat for sharing n listening. LOLx.
sometimes having such tok can b good as well =)
but in the end. everything remains as it is.

last but not least.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SIOWYUN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JIAJIN!
though i dun realli hav the feeling of national day.
anyway. i will b staying at home today. LOLx.
not going to watch firework tis yr. hmm.
perhaps end of yr countdown?? hopefully ba.
it feel kinda weird to stay at home.
at the same time tired n dun feel like finding pple to go out.
so yeah. stay at home ba.
mayb i shld slp more instead.

i dun tink its true n i dun wan it to b true.

2008-08-07T20:35:00.001+08:00

dats so much to say.
i guess i shld juz say it some other day.

i must be crazy.
how can that be.
what am i thinking.
i dont know why i cry.
girl. its gonna be okay.

2008-08-04T18:09:00.003+08:00

im not supposed to post at tis time.
but well. im posting. haha.
today's mass civic we had band performance!
cool. haha. its nice. its fun.
suddenly wish my life partner is someone talented.
LOLx. dream on! deres nvr such a gd guy.
sometimes will juz start imagine the perfect guy ever.
n of coz. he doesnt exist. haha.
anyway. forget abt it.
im not gona tink abt guys anymore.
so wat if i still tink abt him.
hopefully i wun tok abt him again ba.
who dun wish to b a talented person?
like gd in everything? learning watever dere is.
wanting something doesnt mean u can do it.
prob nxt time ba.
unlimited wants + limited supply = scarcity!
anyway. yes yes. im laggin behind.
like realli. LOlx. but its ok!
i will catch up one =)
im motivated to study v hard oredi!
n we took class photo today!
i bet its gonna b damn ugly. haha.
anyway. yixiang n nella going cambridge oredi.
bon voyage! take care. =)

yes. its v long oredi.
n it seem like dat im gonna stuck dere forever.
how stupid can i get.
juz let it remain as it is ba.
its hard to accept the fact that you are gone forever.

2008-08-03T00:05:00.003+08:00

shld i post?? haha. i keep asking myself sia.
coz. im tired. n i tink i shld study. LOLx.
but nvm la. mayb i shld post.
WISH ONG JIAYAN A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
LOLx. i tink she shld b happy la.
coz she got consecutive celebrations.
its difficult to arrange for the surprise ok!
LOLx. though she somehow guess it oredi.
anyway. im supposed to meet jiayan to study today.
haha. then aft dat go hav dinner.
bit in the end we nvr study. we went shopping.
LOLx. then we drag for so long.
bcoz germaine mingli n clarissa were late.
my god. jiayan keep asking mi to go eat dinner.
n i was dere dragging the time. haha.
finally they reached n jiayan got a shock.
she saw them n ask mi. did u ask them to come?
LOLx. then she beat mi. scold mi asshole. haha.
ong jiayan. i will rmb dat. haha.
i made her birthday card. mi n clar went to fancl to buy her present.
shall show some pics ltr. LOLx.
i wan to buy a charles n keith bag! LOLx.
shop wif jiayan today. at first we wanted to buy the same wallet.
but then end up i tell her. do u tink i will buy?
haha. i haven even buy the bag i like la.
end up yongjie they all oso come. LOLx.
i keep asking yongjie to faster! haha.
make us drag the time for so long la.
today got ndp preview. its super irritating!
LOLx. so many pple wearing red walking ard.
making the place so crowded.
then block so many places. so boring! LOLx.
i reach home n got a shock!
my sis went for ndp n she didnt tell mi!??!
my god. i reach home then call her. haha.
today is not a good day to take photos.
so all the photos r not nice. LOLx.
juz say dta im getting uglier. haha.

mi n jiayan. LOLx. the birthday girl.

we keep laughing when taking tis pic la. dun look down on tis pic. it spend us quite some time. haha.

its dark. my god. anyway. its daredevils! =)

the pple who join aft dat. LOLx.

the card i make! =)

mingli say i look v guai now.
but then she say she dun tink its mi. haha.
actually. i dun wan look guai oso.
im juz too guai. no choice! haha =x
i rmb nat say i look nicer wif black hair.
actually somehow i still miss my hair last time.
somehow i dun look dat guai.
perhaps dats the diff ba. haha.
getting uglier n uglier each day! LOLx.
man. i nvr study for 2 days oredi.
though i did study a bit tis morning. haha.
well. im gonna start studying. EoM. my god.

2008-08-01T20:48:00.005+08:00

ok. pictures pictures n more pictures. haha.
oh ya. forget to wish victor happy birthday! LOLx.
hes damn funny la! sing birthday song for himself.
but then ok la. his birthday we feel quite high.
hes my fellow PW mate. haha.
we did a AVC card for him. LOLx.
if i were him i will b v happy.
coz the msges in the card r realli meaningful.
its not like juz happy birthday n some cliche msg.
its realli msg dat comes from all of our heart. haha.
anyway. AVC = anti-victor club. LOLx.
its not bcoz we dun like him la. juz hes damn funny.
sometimes irritating yeah. so we form tis club to make fun of him.
LOLx. n hes happy dat deres tis club. coz he treat it as fan club.
oh ya. y m i tokint abt tis.
yeah. last week went ocs. tis week we went zoo! haha.
now im gonna upload the pictures.
but its pictures of pple n not pictures of animals. sorie!
mayb during the nxt visit when we got more time to walk ard ba.
ok. oni hav a few ocs photos.

ok. tis is the tower dat we climb. its so fun! haha.

this is the bottom of the tower.

view from the top. deres actually 3 views. but oni got pic of one. haha.

a pic we took when we r upstairs. oni the gals. coz the guys have to wait for us to go down. canot hav too many pple up dere. LOLx. ok. look at my 'ultimate hair'. quote from fiona. im juz too irritated by my fringe. so i dun realli care. haha. but the photos taken at the zoo will b different. haha. dun b surprise.

before we go to the zoo at amk hub. LOLx. its mi kenga n lavi. lavi is my fellow PW mate.

mi n kenga.

lavi joyce mi n kenga.

on the bus. mi n natalie. guess whose finger is dat? its lavi's. she like to bully mi. haha. kidding.

one more. haha. she is still pointing at mi.

we reached the zoo! haha. class pic.

its the gals. we r advertising for ben&jerry. =x kidding! LOLx.

the class.

look at wat the guys hav done. LOLx. my god.

its mi natalie n fiona. look at my tired eyes. it juz means dat i nd to slp. haha.

ok. if u pple are wondering who are SMITS. its actually the 5 of us from the left. siowyun mi natalie fiona n joyce. LOLx. beside joyce is nella n steph. ignore the irritating jonny! =x haha.

dats all.

2008-08-01T20:15:00.003+08:00

oh yay! its friday. haha.
a day to slack =x LOLx.
i tink i slack too much oredi.
so many pple are actually chionging la.
my god. nvm. i've got my own plan. haha.
yay! my class is going out on 8th august.
to celebrate sy n jj birthday. mayb for cas oso la.
it will b so fun la! LOLx. im looking forward to it.
yes. went out to shop today! haha. wif clar.
my god. damn long nvr shop oredi.
i bought a shoe! haha. n i tink i like it =)
i tried alot of dresses. but i like tis particular one.
i hav been seeing it for quite long oredi.
but till now i haven buy. haha.
n the person tell mi. its the last piece!
but still. i nvr buy. haha. i dunno la.
hate spending money sia.
then i saw bags! my god. i feel like buying.
but again. dun feel like spending n wasting money =x
i realli dunno man. if anyone could provide mi wif all the cash??
haha. im juz kidding! i dun anyhow spend money anyway.
though i tink its a nd sometimes.

ok. wats dere to say tis week.
actually nth much la. or mayb i dun realli rmb.
i got chance to shop today bcoz we release at 1.15!
wahaha. rare chance sia.
im so happy im so glad. haha. crap.
today's PE we play soccer! fun!
but i choose to b goalkeeper as always. haha.
i realise its damn boring to b goalkeeper.
n the goalpost is so big compared to mi. LOLx.
i hav decided. to b out on the field n play the nxt PE!
i wan run n score a goal! haha.
dun look down on mi. its possible. haha.

2008-07-29T00:52:00.003+08:00

a song i recommended quite some time ago.
but anyway. its a nice song! haha.

Boa - Winter Love
fuyu no youseitachi ga kagayaki maiorite kuru
nani mo suru koto nai kara egao no shashin kuchidzuketa
yakusoku shita eiga no nagai retsu ni futari shite mou narabu koto wa nai no?
dakedo kokoro wa soba ni iru kara
tomodachi ni mo miss you mou nido to modorenai

anata ga suki de aitakute KISU ga
hyaku oku no yuki wo tsutau no
doko ka de guuzen ni meguriaeru hi made
wasurenakute mo babys
ukidemo ii desu ka?
zutto wasurenai...

tatta hitoribocchi no jibun ni kidzuita shunkan
hontou no sabishisa ga ne afurete wa mata komiageru
hito wo aisu sonna omoi wo imata
isetsu datte wasurenai tte omou
kono ADORESU wo nando kaete mo
sono koe mo yume mo watashi wo hanarenai no

toki ga nagarete chigau koishite mo
anata wo omoidasu deshou
deaeta unmei ga kawashita nukumori ga
"anata de yokatta" tte
kokoro kara ieru yoitsuka aeru made...

mirai wa can't stop　yatte kuru
kanashii hodo hayaku forever
shiawase datte kizutsuita tte
dare ka wo aisuru toki just alive

anata ga suki de aitakute KISU ga
hyaku oku no yuki wo tsutau no
doko ka de guuzen ni meguriaeru hi made
wasurenakute mo baby
sukidemo ii desu ka?
zutto wasurenai...

this is the english translation.
get the meaning of it. its damn nice. haha.

As shining winter fairies come floating down
I kissed your smiling picture because I had nothing else to do
At that long line outside of the movies, we vowed
To never stand in line here together again
But since my heart is next to yours
I still miss you even as a friend
But I can't turn back ever again

I love you, I want to see you again
With a kiss, expressed alongside ten billion snowflakes
Until the day that we happen to cross paths someplace
Baby, even if you forget me
Is it okay for me to still love you?
I'll never forget you

Since the moment that I was alone,
I've realised what true loneliness is
These overwhelming feelings in my heart that won't stop flowing out
Now, the way to love a person
Is so important that I think a person shouldn't forget it
No matter how many times my address changes
I'll never let go of that voice or that dream

Even if you love someone else as time flows by
I'll still remember you
Our destined meeting and the warmth we shared
I'm glad that it was you, and I can say it from my heart
Until we meet someday again

We can't stop the future from coming
The feeling of sadness can quickly become forever
Even if I get wounded when I'm happy
When I've fallen in love with a someone
Just alive

I love you, I want to see you again
With a kiss, expressed alongside ten billion snowflakes
Until the day that we happen to cross paths someplace
Baby, even if you forget me
Is it okay for me to still love you?
I'll never forget you

2008-07-29T00:42:00.004+08:00

WAHAHA. slack slack slack.
my god. me posting on weekdays means im slacking oredi.
haha. as usual.
anyway today i was dying. OMG!
haha. make-up PE kills! LOLx.
ok la. juz say dat im weak ok.
ever since napha n ever since germaine lee start going for ndp.
haha. i hardly go to run la.
its like one to two months oredi??
haha. tis make-up PE run like 2 rounds warm-up then another 8 rounds.
LOLx. its killing la my god!
i was feeling realli tired n i tink almost fainting. haha.
nvm. wif perseverence! wahaha =x

today we went to the jap cemetry.
cant deny dat dere look quite nice.
but then overall its quite boring! LOLx. =x
nth realli interest mi la.
its too nice to b a cemetry anyway.
its too well-maintained n stuff.
its full of ants! LOLx. n mosquitoes. haha.
but i oni got one mosquito bite. wahaha =x
nvr realli take pics. mayb c whether others got take lo.
i get the ocs pic oredi. its v nice.
haha. but then its kinda late now. shall upload some time ltr.
actually i nd to do some work. but im so sick of it!
but i dun tink i hav much time left. haha.
nvm la! i can do it one.
Mr Seng let mi bring home my maths test to do.
but then i v honest ok.
b4 i start my test i juz flip thru notes.
then i start timing myself for one hour.
manage to finish the paper within the time given. haha.
im so proud of myself! =)
LOLx. im super positive all of a sudden??
haha. natalie! i feel like singing!
lets find some common song to sing tgt! yeah.
going zoo tml! weee. LOLx. another busy day.

i may be important to some people.
i might be redundant to some others' life.
but dont take me for granted.
you feel good when you mean something to some people.
but what if you dont?

2008-07-26T11:41:00.002+08:00

oh my. im like a pig! LOLx.
yesterday i was supposed to do some homework b4 i slp.
coz today i dun tink i hav much time to do.
though im at home.
i tink my sis is coming back ltr n she wan mi to tidy up the hse!
LOLx. no la. basically tidy up my wardrobe.
but she say it will take the whole day.
coz its not oni my wardrobe. haha.
im short of time la. deres so many things to.
rmb wat sy ask. can i buy time. the ans is definitely no.
but anyway. end up i didnt do anithing!
LOLx. i slept at 10plus. my god. i was too tired.
yesterday went to st. nicks.
bascially is to 'teach' tchouk ball la.
xuhao is gonna say mi. coz i nvr even teach. =x
haha. ya. i was quite slack.
but i realli dunno how to teach wat. dun force mi. LOLx.
ok la. it was quite fun. quite oni.
i tink tchouk ball is fun oni when deres guys playing.
n i tink dere shld b v little pple occupying the full court.
its full court. not half court.
if not its not v fun oredi. its quite boring.
so mayb class PE shldnt b playing tchouk ball.
too many pple plus not playing wif the guys. haha.

ok. wat abt tis week.
actually nth much la. went back skol on wed!
LOLx. like finally. but my cough is still dere. haha.
aiya. my cough take weeks to recover.
its oredi one week plus. LOLx.
i drink alot of water oredi.
n every dinner i will tink of wat to eat.
coz deres alot of things i canot eat!
im waiting for my cough to recover la.
so that i can eat watever i wan. LOLx.
n i hav no choice but to eat dinner. haha.
coz canot eat medicine wif empty stomach.
i hav been surviving wif lozenges la. LOLx.
THANKS CASSANDRA for buying mi the lozenges dat day.
u r a caring fren indeed! =)
hey hey. thank mi quick! im praising u. haha.
thanks all my frens for the encouragement =)
thanks HL for sharing good news wif mi. haha.

my god. staying at home today is crazy.
its seriously killing mi can.
i dunno wats wrong wif mi today.
or mayb everyday seems wrong. LOLx.
i juz tink tink tink n tink.
i realise i mistaken him for something.
dat day screwed actually is bcoz of mi.
but even if so. i still hav to do it eventually.
though i noe. its impossible to do it at all.
i will try to do it slowly. c how thing goes.
but seriously. i believe till end of year it will still b the same.
i dunno n dun wan to noe.
but its killing mi now n i dunno to get him out of my mind.

i tink recently i hav changed.
im not as on as ever. haha.
but then its not i dun wan to la.
i noe i hav bcome quite heck care.
esp towards the guy.
watever la. anyway i tell myself i wont depend on guys oredi.
so i dun hav to noe anithing abt them. haha.
but of coz im always dere as a fren =)

i was so damn pissed wif myself yesterday.
but then aft dat i ok oredi. LOLx.
i attitude ger in the morning w/o realising dat she got NUS camp yesterday.
haha. feel kinda bad actually.
but nvm la. i noe she wun blame mi one. haha =x

oh ya. went to ocs on wed!
ocs is officer cadet school.
quite fun lei. haha. able to c their life inside is cool.
i guess its one in a lifetime for gals la. LOLx.
we climb up a tower. dats so fun! haha.
we took some pics. will upload when i get it.
sad thing is nat's cam got prob.
if not she can actually take alot of pics la.
but nvm la. we can take pics some other time oso. haha.
nxt monday going japan cemetry. LOLx.
hopefully the class can go out on 8th august!
to cele sy n jj birthday.
but then i noe nat cant go. hmm.

2008-07-22T13:12:00.003+08:00

miss school for 2 days oredi.
haven even finish my chinese compo.
so sorie mr mok. thanks for allowing mi to hand up late.
aft i go back deres certainly alot i hav to do.

to all my frens. thanks for ur concern.
im much betta. but hopefully it wont get worse.
i shld b able to go back school tml.

thanks to all my frens for cheering mi up n motivate mi.
u pple certainly brighten up my day.
i dun hav to name pple. bcoz its bascially all my frens.
i noe u pple r dere for mi.
but i realli feel bad to trouble u pple all the time.
coz its my prob. i juz hav to solve it myself.
i noe u all r oni offering ur listening ear.
but i dunno. mayb i shldnt hav.
n to pple who tink dat my blog is damn emo.
im sorie. but i hav to let my problems out a bit.
in fact. the blog doesnt contain everything of mi.
deres definitely things inside mi dat u pple wun noe.
deres no point in mi telling pple all my probs.
n deres no point in mi letting pple noe dat im unhappy.
i do share my prob wif some pple.
but sometimes i tink. who realli understand the prob?
diff pple face diff kind of prob.
n till now. i dun tink i hav frens facing the same prob as mi.
eventually i hav to face it. i hav to solve it.
how can i solve it. tis is my choice.
m i trying too hard to be someone whom i noe i cant b in the first place.
i realli wan to b. i realli wan to do wat i wan to do.
but. can i?
i can feel myself getting weaker n weaker.
dere r times i realli tell myself i can b stronger.
n i tried being positive. telling myself i can do it.
but eventually the prob is still dere. remain unsolved.

for pple who r tinkin of wat my prob is.
its definitely not bgr. so dun tink too much!

can i cry my whole heart out?

2008-07-19T10:31:00.003+08:00

haha. yesterday celebrated zhenhong's birthday.
wif sheryl dionne yongjie lawson n charlie.
FIONA! feel bad dat u didnt come. quick! haha.
zhenhong will not forgive u! haha. juz kidding!
but bcoz of his birthday celebration.
i guess my sore throat n cough will get worse. LOLx.
see. i sacrifice myself ok! =x haha.
im juz such a nice fren. oops. LOLx.
we had great fun yesterday.
trying not to laugh when everything is so funny.
we had tis competition to c who eat the last piece of cake.
haha. quite lame rit. but nobody wan to eat the last piece.
ok la. overall its quite funny. bcoz of dat stupid yongjie.
ok. not exactly funny. hes not funny! haha.

today supposed to meet jiayan. but. haha.
end up im staying at home! nth wrong la.
i noe i shld study. juz dat my cough stop mi from studying.
shld i go out to study? stay at home to study? LOLx.
if i dun hav cough i wont b at home oredi i guess. haha.
so i tink i will juz stay at home ba. =)

i realise i hav people reading my blog n i dunno!
haha. y cant u all juz tag to let mi noe.
but actually i oredi noe a few dat read but dun tag.
watever!

2008-07-18T17:58:00.002+08:00

omg. im going to die soon. LOLx.
i juz cant stop coughing n everything.
ahh. its a bit de xin ku oni. haha.

anyway. today is Mr. Tan's last day.
n we made him a card! so cool.
LOLx. i like the card coz we realli put in effort to do it.
haha. n i like the process of making something nice =)
unfortunately we nvr had chance to take a pic of it.

oh ya. its like so shit today.
i was tinkin whether i shld run during PE today.
coz im having cough.
then aft dat i tink betta not run.
but the main thing is. i dun wan make up PE.
i went to tell the teacher (which i shldnt hav)
then she dun let mi do PE!?!?!
n she wan mi to do make up PE!?!?
ahhh. omg. i dun wan do make up PE!!!
i shld hav juz run 2 rounds n say im not feeling well.
sian. i dun wan go for make up PE!!!
i told the teacher dat. n she say. health is more impt.
but i dunno when i can do make up PE.
coz my cough take weeks to recover. haha.
no. i shldnt laugh. coz its killing mi.

tink ltr going to cele zhenhong's birthday.
though i realli feel like staying at home n rest.
LOLx. nvm la. muz cele his birthday!
most prob meeting jiayan tml! haha.

2008-07-17T17:00:00.003+08:00

haha. its thursday. SURPRISE!?! i got time to post.
LOLx. juz a short one b4 i start work.
was chionging EoM for the whole week.
my god. finally its done n i feel more relax.
though deres still tons of work to do. LOLx.
work in JC is never ending.

things happen tis week.
n i dunno whether i shld b happy or sad.
but no matter wat. i will still laugh n smile =)
cry at times. but its perfectly fine.

now i got cough n sore throat.
omg. i dun wan to lose my voice!?! LOLx.
so im watching wat i eat now.
got free dinner yesterday. haha.
Mr. Tan treat us to swensens!
within his budget ok. LOLx.
whole table less than $300.
deres abt 15 pple.
but we manage to keep within budget n had a great meal.
THANKS for the meal. though he dun read my blog. haha.

n oso THANKS to all my frens who listen to mi tis few days.
esp. cassandra. natalie. n xuhao. LOLx.
its weird dat xuhao's name is here. haha.
but anyway. thanks to all my frens who cheer mi up recently.
i dunno wat to say. can oni say i will b okay =)

i saw my primary school fren today.
she used to b v smart n everything.
though last time i tink she lied to mi.
being naive at dat time. i trust her. LOLx.
now come to tink of it. im kinda stupid.
anyway. ya. she used to b v smart.
ended up in orchid park secondary.
i dun rmb whether its a v gd skol.
i tink ok. but not so good oso.
n i saw her today in ITE uniform.
my god. i find it realli a waste.
coz she used to b so nice n everything. except for the lying part.
i mean. shes realli ok as a person.
last yr when i c her somewhere at yishun i noe she changed.
but i nvr tot dat she will end up in ITE.
i juz tink n believe dat she can do betta than dat.

juz had my A level chinese listening compre.
LOLx. confident. but then its oni 5%. like nth?? haha.
anyway. so far so good. though i screwed my oral.
i achieve something today! LOLx.
dat is i nvr sleep in class today!! HAHA.
its great achievement ok. esp i survive thru bio lecture.
n i hav to tell fiona here. coz i noe she will read my blog.
LOLx. stop talking so much n b focused!! esp during chem.
haha. u n joyce ah. canot b tgt one lei.
anyway. fiona achieve something today too.
she kept quiet for more than 10mins today during chem. haha =x
randomly. i drew something on my hand today. LOLx.

2008-07-13T00:32:00.002+08:00

haha. spend my time answering all those question.
LOLx. anyway. im just back from long beach.
as in the seafood restaurant. yeah.
will upload the photo if i get it. LOLx.

my god. fiona. u can nvr believe it.
i was crying when u r tokin to mi on msn. haha.
but no la. its nth much. i dunno y i cry oso.
just a bit oni. LOLx.

i was wondering whether i shld b happy wif my life now.
mayb i shld. mayb i shldnt.
i dunno whether im truly happy though i laugh everyday.
n yeah. everytime i laugh the whole world will noe.
coz its super loud. LOLx.
wat will happen if the xinyi who is always so on wif outing n everything end up bcoming not on at all??
i realli wonder. cause im afraid i canot b who i wan to b.
i cant enjoy my life as much bcoz of the problems i hav.
shit. tis is getting emo. haha.
but i believe in some point of our life we will look back.
or mayb tink far? like wats gonna happen in the future.
n the scariest thing is u cant do wat u wan n nvr get anithing u wan.
i nvr tink dat my life is terrible. but i noe it can b betta.
i just wan to be happy.
yes. i noe im pessimistic.

2008-07-12T23:35:00.004+08:00

i have to do this because im tagged by CASSANDRA. LOLx. n instruction B.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
as usual, the very first thing i will do is cry. HAHA. bcoz dats mi! =x then i will curse him like crazy (just to make myself feel betta) and once again confirm dat GUYS SUCK.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
not thinking of all the problems i hav, lead a really happy life without any trouble and laugh throughout my life.

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
hmm. if i ever get married? LOLx. not going to ask for much. just hope that the guy standing beside me will be someone i really love.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
hmm. yeah.

#5. What’s your ideal lover like?
since it's ideal lover, i guess he does not exist. HAHA. but anyway. i like guy who has a mind of his own and able to decide for himself. he does not hav to be very handsome. average will do. but definitely must hav fashion sense =x (sound superficial). but someone i mind about it. i dont know why. HAHA. he must be able to take care of himself and of course take very good care of me. thoughtful, caring and definitely not a flirt. last but not least, i dont know why i'm attracted to sporty guys. yeah. i guess thats about it. quite realistic actually.

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
a dumb girl like me will wait for someone i really love like forever? (dont start scolding me)HAHA. if i really love him, i believe he worth everything to me. so i will never think that he is not worth waiting. but of course, when it is pointless to continue to wait and when there is someone better out there waiting for me, i will stop waiting.

#8.If you love each other yet your can't get together?
actually i don't believe things such as i love you but i can't be with you. i always believe that if we really love each other, we should be able to go through everything together. that's what relationship and true love is all about. (at least i believe so)

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
hmm. yeah i guess. impossible to list out all.

#10.Who makes your day?
hmm. my dog? HAHA. as long as he is at home i guess i will be happy ba. and of course, family and friends. more of friends i guess. SMITS! JIAYAN (though very long never talk to you already). GERMAINE! CASSANDRA (dont say i never mention you. haha). sad to say. yongjie. haha. he makes me laugh when i'm sad. basically all my friends =)

#11. Is being tagged fun?
hmm. yeah i guess.

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
hmm. still single i guess. LOLx. cause i dont think i will find a suitable guy =x a career woman! i always think so. and driving my own car! HAHA. hope hope hope that day will come. I DONT NEED A MAN!

#13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
family and friends. my dog?? HAHA.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
HAHA. a very nice and caring friend. nice person to talk to.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
single and rich. HAHA. cause i must prove that I DONT NEED A MAN! =x LOLx. want to be rich not because i think money is important. i just dont want money to be part of the problem in my life (like now) and i don't want to restrict myself from enjoying my life because of money.

#16. What is the first thing you do every morning?
looking at my phone to check the time and whether there is any message. i dont know why also. HAHA.

#17. Would you give all in a relationship?
YES of course. LOLx. this is crap. if you are my friend you should know what kind of person i am la. i might just give too much.

#18. What is one thing you wish to do most now?
slacking and sleeping! LOLx. enjoying my life out somewhere.

#19. What type of friends do you like?
someone who will always be there for me (impossible to be there forever though) and listen to whatever i want to say. someone who is friendly and caring. probably crazy friend like JOYCE =X HAHA. cause they definitely brighten my day by making me laugh all the time.

#20. What type of friends do you dislike?
pangseh kia! =x LOLx. i dont like people who always pangseh. as in seriously last minute pangseh. and people who are only think of themselves and not for others. cant think of any other thing right now. HAHA.

ok. im going to tag.
1. NATALIE
2. YVONNE
actually got more people to tag one. but they dont hav tagboard! my god. ok. JIAYAN n JOYCE. if u all ever visit my blog. HAHA. =)

2008-07-12T13:26:00.003+08:00

some photos taken during modesto's dinner wif 4e4 pple.
LOLx. not alot of pple went yeah.
still waiting for valerie's photo! haha.

these are the pple who went for the dinner =)

the girls! haha.

mi n ger. editted by her. =)

haha. mi n jonny. i tink first time taking photo wif him. LOLx.

2008-07-12T13:22:00.002+08:00

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Go in, come in, thought I heard a knock
Who's there? No one, thinking that I deserved it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is, I'ma be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to
(It'll all get better in time)

How could I turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me?
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings?

If I'm dreaming, don't wanna let, hurt my feelings
But that's the path, I believe in
And I know that, time will heal it
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is, I'ma be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to
(It'll all get better in time)

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you
Yes, I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh
(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to, yes, I do
(It'll all get better in time)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
And even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to

2008-07-11T22:43:00.004+08:00

oh yes! LOLx. finally can post again le.
its friday! my god. nowadays can oni look forward to friday.
LOLx. i tink today im v happy lei. i dunno y.
did i say i get back my maths paper oredi??
OMG. 9 marks careless la. i keep reminding myself.
haha. mayb i shldnt. doesnt make my life any betta.
i didnt get an A unfortunately. but at least got a B la.
not so bad. if i get C i tink i will be damn sad la. LOLx.

just now my PW group had an interview wif Ms Leong.
my god. i so feel like dying juz now. LOLx.
not bcoz of Ms Leong la.
its just dat my CCA got AGM yet im gonna b late.
being one of the exco i shldnt b la. ya.
so i faster finish the interview then chiong to AGM.
LOLx. ok la. the interview i feel quite ok.
im satisfied. n i tink Ms Leong provide us a lot of useful information.
thank her so much. i tink shes quite nice. haha.
aft the AGM was farewell buffet for the seniors n Mr Tan.
the food quite ok la i tink. haha. im full!
i realli did grow fat ok. a little bit oso call grow wat.
haha. come on pple. juz believe mi. LOLx.
aft the buffet we play captains ball!
my god. its so fun n shiok la. haha.
we playing the whole AJ square.
its like big?? LOLx. we had great fun.
though my face n mouth kana hit by ball.
aiya. as usual la. its always liddat. haha.

i got my new shoe oredi. YES! like finally?
haha. but i dunno whether i will be used to it.
watever. it is not v impt.

tml is my nephew first month!
i tink we are going to eat seafood for dinner ba.
actually i cant eat seafood one. haha.
i dun even noe whether im realli allergic to it la.
coz sometimes can eat sometimes canot.
but i tink. juz eat lo. my parents always ask mi eat.
haha. but i dun hav any special liking for seafood.
its not a muz for mi to eat seafood.
i dun mind not having it =) haha.
i bought a damn cute shirt for him!
LOLx. i nvr buy for my first nephew. feel v bad.
haha. buy for my second nephew lo.
im gonna hav a niece tis end of year.
but i will oni c her nxt yr CNY.
coz second sis in taiwan now yeah. LOLx.
will b back for CNY nxt yr. juz to let us c the baby.
now my first sis in taiwan oso. shopping.
this is the shirt.

damn cute rit!?!? LOLx. juz say yes.

if i got the time i shall post some stuff in my class blog.
muz motivate the class to do well! haha.
i tink my class is having fun tgt. realli.
but some pple. always disappoint the teachers n everything.
ok. shall tok abt tis more in my class blog. haha.

i dunno whether i truly forget.
i just never realli tink abt it.
or mayb i just dun hav the time to tink.

2008-07-06T21:00:00.002+08:00

its weekends! i got juz a bit of time to post.
LOLx. im motivated to study!
sound so mugger. but its ok la.
today went to study wif huimin.
did chem energetics n graphing techniques.
my god. my mind almost burst la.
im tinkin so hard for graphing techniques.
dats when i noe im dead. haha.
the topics r getting harder n harder.
which means. we hav to work harder n harder as well.
its ok. we shall JIAYOU ba. LOLx.
i dunno whether i shld go out tml.
i feel like relaxing. but deres alot to do oso.
besides going out too much is kinda sian =x

huimin now got a rich bf.
i noe i shld b happy for her.
but i dun realli agree wif her way of life now.
i shall not say it out here.
but i guess i hav difficulty telling her wat i meant.
u noe. to save money n not waste it.

oh ya. we went to amk dat mac again. LOLx.
suddenly i tink of HL. hmm. kinda random.
but im seriously glad dat hes different now.
n hes realli doing well now.
its been long since he visited my blog.
i guess he wun b able to c tis anyway. haha.

anyway. i reach home today n saw my another thermometer.
LOLx. i realise the one i tot spoilt is my super old one.
n now i found my thermometer. its still working!
i dun hav to spend $4 buying it la.
a reminder to nat. rmb ur thermometer! LOLx.
dat is if she c it la.

i wan to write friendship card!
but i dunno whether i got enough paper.
mayb nd to go buy oredi. LOLx.
for alot of pple ok. SMITS cass ger mayb huimin jon.
my god. its a total of 9 pple. haha.

i guess i nd to send a little bit more time wif my dog.

2008-07-05T07:34:00.002+08:00

oh man. its super early now. LOLx.
guess y im awake. coz i slp at 9plus yesterday =x
sorie to those who tok to mi on msn.
i didnt reply coz i was slping! LOLx.
cant blame la. i was quite sick n tired yesterday.
it was a bad day. coz i get back 2 lousy papers.
LOLx. econs n chem. my god.
totally disappointed wif chem.
its a pass. but its a shit pass. totaly unacceptable.
as expected. im gonna fail econs badly. n i did.
LOLx. told u pple to trust mi dat i will fail.
when i say im gonna fail im gonna fail.
coz im the one taking the paper.
n i noe how badly or well i hav done.
i will nvr say i fail n end up get a C. Lolx.
my god. jc life is too busy man.
i oni hav time to post like once a week?? haha.
but betta than nth la.
i hav so much to say lo.

ok. lets tok abt the other betta papers dat i got back tis week.
LOLx. not exactly v good. but im satisfied.
for GP. D is definitely not good. but im glad dat i pass.
in fact my whole class pass! LOLx. great job man.
then for bio. i totally got a shocked.
its juz like my O level.
i leave blanks n feel like dying whne doing the paper.
i manage to get a B. totally shocked. but im happy =)
then chinese. LOLx. i kinda forget wat i expect for it aft the paper.
but all along i wanted an A. so yeah. got an A. =p
ok. oni left maths now. die lo. no hope oredi.
my class oni one got A. LOLx.
which means i can oni hope for B now.
not alot get B oso. oh man. i hav to pray hard.
i hav v high expectation for maths la.
wat if i got a C?? i tink i will b v sad.
but no la. not to the extent of crying la. LOLx.
i nvr cry ove results b4. although im disappointed sometimes.
im always disappointed wif chem. same for O.
how can my bio ever b betta than my chem tis time??
LOLx. i realli wonder.
im more confident wif chem la.
cant believe it. but nvm. im gonna buck up!
mug for promos!!!! LOLx.
pple who fail papers like mi or worse than mi.
muz jiayou tgt n do well during promos! haha.
yes. i hav the motivation again =)

oh ya. hav to thanks huimin for buying things for mi from australia.
n cassandra. for giving mi my belated birthday present. haha.
dun mean to suan u ok. but ya. thanks for the bracelet.
not bad ah. till now still can get birthday present.
LOLx. who wan to b nxt?? =x kidding!

oh ya. today's binghong's birthday! LOLx.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BIONG!
but then he wun c it i guess. haha.
hmm. i tink its time to write friendship card.
i wanted to do it since mid years is over.
till now. i nvr had the time to write.
since tis week got a longer weekends. shall write it. haha.

today prob meeting huimin to study.
but i wonder wat time she will wake up again.
LOLx. always slp at midnight 2.
like she can wake up early the nxt day?? haha.
or mayb i will b meeting my sec 2 class pple.
simeon is back in spore again.
but i dunno. like not many gals going.

sometimes its realli difficult for mi.
coz i hav different cliques.
i mean. sec 2 clique. daredevils.
sec 4 cliques wif cass they all.
now in jc oso. SMITS. LOLx.
ok. shall not put too personal things here.
i will write dat in the friendship card =) haha.

i hav to tok abt some pple.
not realli pointing to a particular person.
but juz anyone who tink dat their life is terrible??
who tink dat he/she is the oni one suffering in the world.
he/she shld start reflecting.
dun say until ur life is so miserable.
seriously. u r not the oni one.
but u choose to tink dat u r the oni one.
stop complaining all the time like everyone owes u.
stop saying u r the oni one doing work n others r not.
coz the fact is. we are.
but i guess u cant stop tokin abt how much u hav suffered.
watever. pple who r reading tis sure tink dat im tokin abt someone.
actually i am. but dat someone will nvr read my blog.
she dun even noe abt it. LOLx.
so pple who r reading. u noe im not tokin abt u. haha.
i guess nat n sy noe who im tokin abt.
if u all rmb wat i say dat day.

cats r cute.
too bad dat they r not as faithful as dogs.

2008-06-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

oh my. i slept like pig yesterday.
LOLx. i guess got 12 hours.
hopefully i will feel energetic today.
coz i got tons of homework to do.
haha. wonder whether i will complete la.

today is supposed to b metro gathering de.
but then. i dun wanna spend money on food.
plus its at jurong east.
though v long nvr c them. but i dun feel like going =x
so met up wif soph.
LOLx. coz she tink its too far for her.
we went shopping ard at far east.
i like a top from artiris n a dress from mesh.
man. i tink its v nice. but i dun wan to try.
haha. v lazy u noe.
so i juz walk ard lo. LOLx.
saw a few nice bag n alot of things la.
but nvr realli wan to buy oso.
anyway i got no chance to use it.
v long nvr meet up wif her so we juz keep tokin,
LOLx. then go drink our favourite bubble tea!
ok la. dats abt all. nth much actually.
hav to start reading newspaper n everything oredi.
guess tml will b meeting huimin to study.
or prob she will juz come my hse ba. LOLx.

its oni 2 days away.
i realise to forget u is to nvr love u again.
i wonder whether i can realli do dat.

2008-06-27T18:27:00.003+08:00

HAHA. its friday oredi! omg.
im feeling so tired rit now.
coz i slept at 2plus am yesterday.
which means i had abt 4 hours of slp.
LOLx. n now my eyes r closing.

yesterday went back school at 3plus.
my god. im supposed to slack at home la.
LOLx. but no choice. its exco meeting.
have to go discuss abt the camp.
i brought my lap top n clothing along.
coz aft dat im supposed to meet my class pple for pool.
LOLx. come on. pool is so fun =x
though im not realli gd at it. haha.
who were they yesterday.
gals oni got mi n fiona la.
guys got jon jaryl jj victor n bing.
aft dat i met ger. so went home tgt! =)
the minute i reach home i chiong PW la.
chiong until abt 1am. then start doing a card.
for someone whose birthday is today. LOLx.
im so nice rit. THANKS. i noe dat. haha.

today we didnt do much in school.
its all PW discussion n lecture. *faint*
the more i feel like slping =x haha.
but here comes the climax.
31/08 celebrated for the june babies today!
june babies consist of kenga, seowying and joseph.
LOLx. we v nice rit.
we bought them a big cake n individual present.
hope they like it though.
its not easy to get them present la.
LOLx. coz we dun realli noe them well.
yeah. so dats the fun part abt today in school.
n oh ya. THANKS FIONA JOYCE SIOWYUN!
LOLx. for giving mi the esprit clutch for my birthday.
though its late. but its betta than nth.
n they bought wat i like. LOLx.
though fiona. u make it quite obvious ah.
haha. but its ok. still thank u.
esp for spending the time to make the card!
i noe u were bored dat day. but still. THANKS!
haha. i realli tink i hav great frens man. =p
did i thank natalie for the bottle she bought mi dat day??
i dunno. haha. if i didnt then i shall say thanks here.

so today aft the celebration i met up wif ger.
went back to zhss tgt to collect our testimonial.
LOLx. ok la. its below my expectation. but it doesnt matter.
haha. we walk ard the skol.
n shes like reminiscing the past. haha.
i dunno y i nvr do dat. prob i went back a few times le ba.
or mayb i juz dun feel anithing anymore.
when i go back i do tink of whether i will c him.
but i noe i will nvr c him. so its ok.
the dateline is oni like 3 days ltr.
actually i noe tis time i can do it.
wif determination n everything i noe i can b happy w/o him.
its juz somethings i haven do yet.
juz dunno whether i shld do.
ok. so aft we leave zhss we went bishan.
walk walk ard then go sakae! LOLx.
man. i damn long nvr go liao can.
but then im broke now oredi. LOLx. once again.
dun say oredi. i shall b guai the nxt few days.
then i wun spend anymore money. haha.
supposed to go run wif ger one.
but im realli super tired. my eyes r closing man.
LOLx. too long nvr run n everything oredi.
now im v bad at running n doing inclined all dat.
my god. i nd to start training again oredi.
JIAYOU! SMITS! lets go run one day. haha.

2008-06-25T16:06:00.003+08:00

WOOHOO! MID YEARS IS OVER!!!
LOLx. like finally?? haha.
tis time i nvr study much.
i dunno wat i hav been doing throughout the holidays.
but i was realli stressed last week.
coz im doing last minute study. LOLx.
which of coz is not effective at all.
im gonna fail econs for sure.
tis one is confirm de.
u pple juz hav to trust wat i say.
LOLx. fiona can b my witness =)
bio n chem. may or mayb not pass.
or mayb. it will b a sub-pass. LOLx.
watever it is. i realli cant expect much for tis mid year.
maths. confirm pass. fail i will start crying oredi.
LOLx. dat one is will pass one.
juz whether its a c or b or a.
aiya. dun tink so much. haha.
ITS OVER! n we shall juz wait n c.
i did consider abt dropping jc if i realli canot do it by the end of the year.
but dats juz consideration.
i mean. if i realli canot do it i shall not force myself.
i will continue to work v hard n try my v best.
for my promos. but shall c my results by the end of the year ba.
seriously. tis mid year is like killing almost everyone??
most pple didnt even manage to finish the paper??
time management is a prob.
or mayb we juz arent supposed to finish it. LOLx.
i dunno. but those who finish it. good for them.

now dat its over. i guess i shld get some slp.
i shld oso work extra hard for my PW.
thanks joyce! for the encouragement u hav given.
i will work extra hard n motivate them =)
all the research minutes and EoM. LOLx.
i find project work a bit sian sometimes. haha.
but nvm. since we hav to do it we shld do it well.
hopefully things will get betta ba.
n i haven complete the holiday homework. LOLx.
shit man. now its time to chiong homework again.
school work is always never-ending. haha.
yay! tml no school.
good luck for the physics paper. LOLx.
but then i tink hav to go back school anyway.
exco meeting regarding the camp...................

2008-06-21T21:20:00.002+08:00

i got so much to say la.
but i dun hav the time!! arghh.
i sacrifice juz a bit of my time posting.
LOLx. at the same time take a break.
omg. i cant stand it anymore.
i seriously dun feel like studying.
i dunno whether i regret going jc.
but i noe the reason i go to jc.
its juz dat now. i totally hav no life!
its a little bit de stress now oni lo.
when everybody is revising. im studying.
haven even finish studying. LOLx.
n i oni hav a bt 1 to 2 more days left.
come on. i dunno wat i shld do actually.
but im tired of studying.
shld i stop studying?? LOLx.
nah. i shld juz try my best. JIAYOU!

n i cant help but tinkin.
but NO! im not supposed to tink of tis now.
coz im supposed to b studying.
n moreover. i oredi set a dateline.
ok. its difficult to get him out.
but wif determination tis time round.
i guess n hope i can. please.
though its realli a bit xin ku now.
but nvm. i can do it de!
deres actually alot of things dat i wan to do.
i realli tink thru.
wat i shld do n wat im going to do.
n i ask myself. wat i seriously wan.
i still got alot of time.
n of coz. more pple for mi to meet.

tis part is gonna sound v bad. LOLx.
hope my guy frens wun b offended.
guys r juz sucky creatures.
some juz treat gals as toys.
n its seriously difficult for them to b devoted.
n y cant guys juz do wat they say.
y muz they say something n do otherwise.
guys who tell lies r shit.
guys who dun dare to admit things dat they say or do r coward.
omg. i juz realise the description fits someone exactly.
but anyway he wont b reading my blog. LOLx.
he shld betta noe dat hes a sucky bastard. =x
im scolding like shit oredi. haha.
but of coz im not saying all guys r liddat.
n my guy frens. pls make sure u doesnt fit the description.

2008-06-19T09:58:00.002+08:00

omg. so long nvr post oredi. LOLx.
a bit de busy oni ah.

oh ya. Mr Kelvin Tan pass away on sunday.
it was realli a v sad n shocking news.
nobody expect tis to happen at all.
alot of us r v sad.
didnt manage to go to the wake.
coz my sis gave birth on monday.
i canot go to wake b4 i c my sis.
so in the end i didnt go.
but seriously. everyone is v sad abt dat.
so anyway. i went to c my sis on monday.
got another nephew oredi. jaydius.

so tuesday deres tis studying session.
wif fiona jj jaryl victor joyce at jon's hse.
LOLx. first time going to his hse.
his dog is actually v cute la. my god.
but actually tis study session is a bit de slack.
we r seriously slacking most of the time.
im actually behind time la.
deres alot to study n complete.
we had pizza at his hse for lunch.
n his mum baked apple cake. damn nice. haha.
so at nite we went chomp chomp to hav dinner.
i didnt eat alot. coz was feeling sick oredi.
haha. then aft dat got chatting session.
overall its quite fun la.
but we didnt study much.

ok. so yesterday was supposed to go for maths consultation.
end up didnt. wake up le but feel v sian to go skol.
haha. so end up nvr go lo.
aft dat i went out. had my birthday treat.
but i shld juz say i wasted my time.
i dunno. aiya. i dun care.
from tis point onwards nobody will c dat i mention him.
i wont tok abt him ever again.
i hav set a dateline for myself. wif yj help. LOLx.
30th june. dats the dateline.
aft dat day i will put everything behind mi n say gdbye.
hopefully i can do it la hor.
BE POSITIVE! lolx.

so anyway today. im gonna mug hard.
but im going out soon to look for shoes.
haha. its gonna b fast.
i received an sms today. from jerry.
got a shock actually.
coz seriously v long nvr tok to him oredi.
dats wat i call catching up wif old fren.
realli old fren sia. LOLx.
but sorie. im not ready to go out wif any guys.
even though hes juz fren. haha.
mi n him de past ah. hmm.
i guess its long over n i dun realli rmb oredi. haha.

n dats when i realise i actually hav alot of frens.
n i hav frens who care abt mi.
thanks alot to my frens.
i will try to stop caring abt unimpt pple.
since im unimpt to them.
i shall divert my care to all my frens. =)

2008-06-14T21:12:00.002+08:00

ok. today was the National Youth Envirolympic Challenge 2008.
LOLx. went dere to b station master.
its not dat we r too free or anithing ok.
we r juz helping jeryl. though my group kinda screwed.
we took group pics! haha.
my group consist of jonny, denise n jiaxin.
not bad ah. made frens thru tis event lei. LOLx.
hav to say sorie to cass for not saving her today =x
haha. bcoz yongjie was driving her crazy.
but i bet they had alot of fun =x
but i feel v bad today. so sorie.
i dunno. coz i noe hes dere.
so somehow my mind is filled wif him??
its v bad of mi. but ya.
ok. i shall stop tinkin n tokin abt him oredi.
we r juz frens after all =)

tis morning was kinda funny.
was supposed to meet sheryl, serene n yongjie for breakfast.
we are meeting 6.30am at the mac at hougang.
n guess wat. i receive yongjie's call in the morning.
tinkin dat. wa. hes so nice to give morning call.
n dats oso when i realise its 6.30am oredi.
im still on bed! LOLx. a bit de funny ah.
end up nvr realli eat breakfast.
was like so late?? reach at abt 8. my god.
sorie jonny! u all hav to wait for mi. haha.
im like super tired the whole day??
slept at 2plus yesterday la.
n now. im realli v tired.
i guess im gonna slp soon n wake up early tml.
coz i nvr study for like 2 days oredi??
i dun wan to freak out for mid years la. LOLx.

oh ya. yongjie has juz admitted dat hes not a man.
LOLx. finally. w/o any argument.
he say hes too tired to let mi lose.
but i guess im juz too tired to c him lose =x
haha. WATEVER!

ok. anyway. aft the event i went my grandma hse.
was late for the father's day celebration.
a bit de tired oni lo.
went dere to eat durian cake! yummy.
everybody asking mi abt my crumpler bag.
i mean my relatives.
n i dunno how to ans them. LOLx.

haha. my nephew juz say bye to mi n give mi a kiss.
LOLx. hes so damn cute la. =p

2008-06-13T20:01:00.002+08:00

i was realli quite hurt when i c the email.
i guess my motivation is gone again.
i spent so much time doing it.
im treating it so seriously.
yet. everything has changed now.
prob bcoz i realli didnt do my job well ba.
i dunno. mayb im wrong ba.
mayb i shldnt b in exco at all.
then i will b more free than anybody else. hais.

oh. firstly. muz wish jianxiang n hongzhen HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
LOLx. its their birthday today.
but they dunno each other. too bad.
so yesterday went chinatown swensens.
to celebrate jianxiang's birthday.
at first dun wan eat de. super on budget can.
but end up canot resist the temptation. LOLx.
actually deres nth much la.
we took a photo tgt but i haven get it yet.
STUPID YONGJIE! faster send to mi. LOLx.
actually i noe i can get from jiayan lo. blehz.

today is our OG outing. LOLx.
ok la. oni abt 8 to 9 of us.
we celebrated charlie's birthday in advance.
n its v funny coz he dun even noe.
when we bring in the cake hes singing wif us.
until we sing. happy birthday to charlie. LOLx.
i tink he realise at dat time ba.
aft celebrating n eating lunch we go play pool.
as usual. OG outing is always liddat.
nth much la. many nd to go off early.
so i reach home 7plus. kinda early oso.

tml going for dat environment thing. omg.
i guess its gonna b damn sian.
7plus to 5plus. *faint*
n sheryl say she wan to eat mac breakfast b4 we go.
LOLx. which means hav to wake up damn early.
aft dat still nd to go grandma hse.
to celebrate father's day. LOLx.
yay! nxt week gonna hav study session oredi. haha.
but then they say prob postponing class outing.
i dunno. im fine wif anithing. juz feel a bit sian oni.

2008-06-11T20:25:00.002+08:00

yesterday was too tired man. LOLx.
but oso dunno y. so nvr realli post anithing.
ok. shall tok abt yesterday.
for 4e4 gathering we watch narnia.
n then went modesto's for dinner.
ok. its not ex dere. but its not cheap too.
was kinda disappointed.
coz pple who say they will turn up end up didnt.
some juz dun wan to come. some hav their reason.
so i watched narnia oredi.
hmm. i dunno to say whether its nice or not.
i can oni say its damn exciting. LOLx.
coz its all abt fighting. n their coolness =x
haha. so ya. overall its ok la.
aft dat the guys went to play pool.
mi n cass supposed to join them one.
but end up shopping =x
i bought my Mango basics oredi. finally.
then bring them to esprit n show them my favourite clutch!
damn nice la. juz dat its not a nd for mi.
but aft yesterday i decided not to spend money anymore.
though i didnt spend realli alot.
but i tink i oredi start to feel the pain of spending oredi.
haha. so. im not gonna spend anymore!
im on budget now. save save save!
i was feeling quite sad yesterday coz im broke. haha.
but its over oredi.
we took tons of pics yesterday. its like omg.
we spend our time in the restaurant taking pics.
i guess pple in the restaurants were looking at us la.
germaine camt back from AB camp n odac trip oredi.
but i dunno y sometimes i feel distant.
prob bcoz i too long nvr tok to her n she got no time for mi??
mayb ba. but i guess things will get betta de ba.
recently juz find it difficult to hav the mood for anithing.
shall upload the photos some other days.
its alot la. nd to collect from mutiple pple. LOLx.

ok. abt today.
actually its nth much. juz went out study wif cassandra.
at novena starbuck once again. haha.
but i didnt drink tis time. im on budget yeah.
so on the way back i decided to buy my favourite.
i did. n then was on my way walking back home as usual.
i enter the lift n took out my phone.
then something v happy happen. haha.
decided not to cite the details here.
i noe wat happen can le ba.
im looking forward to nxt week.
though i noe eventually nth will happen.
though i noe i cant hope for anithing to happen oso.
but im still happy. thanks for making my day! =)
hope dat day will b happy for both of us ba.
i noe alot of my frens wun b happy abt dat.
i noe wat they will say.
but i oso hope dat they understand.
dats wat make mi happy n give mi the motivation for everything.
i can oni blame myself for being emo in the future ba.
same thing doesnt happen twice.
so i dun wan to regret in the future.
dats my decision.
dats the end for today i guess.
im gonna continue mugging man.
one day is not even enough for one subject la.
so shit man.

2008-06-10T11:01:00.002+08:00

Tis song is damn nice!
Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade

The best thing about tonight's that we’re not fighting
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before
I know you don’t think that I am trying
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core..

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you that I would never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible to find
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep
And hold onto your words
‘Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you’re asleep

2008-06-10T10:10:00.002+08:00

ok. yesterday was definitely a tiring day.
finally a new day has begin =)
anyway. im supposed to dedicate one post fo fiona.
haha. i give u part of the post ok? =x
SORIE FIONA. n i try my best to make sure it wont happen again.
sometimes realli hav no choice u noe.
thanks for sharing wif mi most of the time.
n i forget to tell u. dionne help u scold mi oredi. haha.
ok. so anyway. i nd to thank my frens for listening to mi.
especially cassandra yongjie jonny n mr mok. haha.
thanks thanks so much!
now dat its over. shall not tink abt it anymore.

so anyway. its 4e4 gathering today!!
woohoo. LOLx. n we ask mr poh.
though most pple can oni make it for the dinner la.
but its more than enough. realli.
n im watching narnia today!! yes yes.
finally. wahaha. but another day is gone for mi.
i haven realli study for tis few days lo.
i dunno. i will try my best.
aft yesterday i hav decided.
i nd to b decisive. i cant b fickle anymore.
muz make quick decision oso. dun hesitate.
dun drag things on.
as usual i will still tink alot. cant help mi.
dats a difficult thing to change.
but i muz do things wif determination.
since i hav to do it i will do it well.
since i wan to do it. i will do it well.

2008-06-08T10:56:00.003+08:00

ok. im staying at home today!! LOLx.
i dunno y im so happy.
but aft i post tis im going to start work!!
mugging. mugging. MUGGING! haha.
ok. welcome back for the odacians.
n by rit. TLDDS oso back rit. hmm. haha.
they r back yesterday yeah.
ok. so these r the photos i took yesterday. =)
random pic. was at huimin's workplace.
hav been reading the newspaper the whole day. LOLx.
n was feeling damn bored so we start playing pool.
then we play black jack.
she took a loser video of mi... =( LOLx.
ok. here r the pics.

told u im bored. dats the evidence. n look! newspaper. LOLx.

my lucky number 7! =)

the winning ball. =p

pink ball!

purple ball!

last but not least.
tis is so far my favourite doughnut from doughnut factory.
DOUBLE CHOCOLATE! =p

anyway. dat day i went build-a-bear wif jiayan.
omg. they r so cute. im tempted.
but tinkin of spending so much on a bear. hmm.
a bit de not worth it ah. LOLx.
but if i got the chance. i will get it (for him).
ignore wats in the bracket. haha.

i tink i hav to blame myself for not forgetting.
coz i tink is i dun wan to forget.
it seems like when i tok abt something. his name will appear.
i went shopping. i saw tis soccer watch. i tink of buying for him.
its like. everything is abt him?? i juz cant stop myself.
so i tink its nobody's fault. its mine.
n. i reali dunno i wan to forget.
perhaps. my frens' memories wif mi will slowly replace him ba.
as the years pass. i guess our memories will fade.
though its still dere. but it wont mean anithing anymore.
one example will b the movie narnia.
it will nvr b a show dat i oni watch wif him.
i watch it wif my frens too.
n i tink i shld nvr try to keep the memories.
meaning i shldnt prevent my frens from replacing him.
dats wat i hav been doing. i guess.

2008-06-07T08:34:00.003+08:00

ok. i nd to post abt yesterday. LOLx.
reach home v tired oredi.
lazy to come online n post =x
anyway. a new month starts!
i mean. for my phone la. haha.
n i got free msges oredi! can sms. wahaha.
ok. watever. its not v impt.
yesterday went to eat fish n co. wif jiayan.
first time going ok.
dun say i sua ku hor. haha.
but anyway. its kinda nice actually.
n we went to the glass house.
oh. i forgot to take pics of the place. LOLx.
aiya. watever lo. u all noe where rit.
the ambience dere was quite nice.
they still hire singer to sing at nite.
v enjoyable rit. LOLx.
n the food was not bad.

then aft dat went out shopping a while at ps.
LOLx. actually nth much to shop dere la.
i saw a top at esprit. simple but nice.
wanted to buy one. but. hmm.
haha. as usual i nd alot of time to tink =)
i saw a clutch at esprit oso. v nice!!
but. haha. i dun tink i realli nd it.
n my goal for the future is guess.
i tink the things damn nice lei. LOLx.
juz dat i dun tink i nd such luxury rit now. haha.
i hav a long list of things i wan to buy.
some r wans some r nd. n i wonder.
shld i realli buy them?? haha.
shld i spend now n then start saving again aft holiday??
i dunno. im juz not dat kinda dat will spend until siao one.

anyway. while shopping i met ulric.
LOLx. i wonder sia.
y do i always c him outside?? haha.
i hav to apologise for my rudeness yesterday.
then on my way home i met oswell. LOLx.
everytime sia. on my way home. aft his tuition.
i will c him either on the train or the mrt station.
LOLx. a bit de funny oni hor.
but not bad la. got pple pei mi tok until yishun. haha.

ok. i nd to prepare to go huimin's workplace soon.
im gonna pei her to work. LOLx.
n of coz study dere la.
a bit de tiring oni lo. haha.

2008-06-06T13:19:00.003+08:00

你还爱我吗

夜里传来雨的声音
轻轻拨动心的旋律
情不自禁想起你
那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心就淋湿了我的眼睛

爱情需要一些呼吸
偶尔保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系
任你自由的来去
从此想念你只能放在我心里

你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕
听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗

好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记着你
在这冷冷的夜里
感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你想听听你的声音

感情的路总让人好无助
我会学着面对独处
给深爱的你祝福

你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答
我会一直等你
你还爱我吗

2008-06-06T13:03:00.003+08:00

haha. ok. here comes the photos.
sorie ah. its a bit late. but its still up ok =)

start wif class de photos.
on 18th may we went esplanade for ajc choir concert.
to support jonny. LOLx. mr n mrs mok were dere too =p

ok. these r the nicest few. LOLx.
i dun tink i shld put jonny's individual photo anyway.
ok. nxt. we hav cheerleading photos!
on the day itself n oso at dinner aft rollerblading at ECP.

2008-06-05T20:54:00.003+08:00

wahaha. omg. i stay at home the whole day today.
but i tink i didnt realli exactly spend my time v wisely.
the way i study is taking a long long time man.
but still. i studied. haha. chemistry. LOLx.
n juz realise today dat deres chi homework.
omg man. but its ok. i tink we shld hav homework for dat anyway.
juz dat i dun tink i got time for it. haha.
n super sian. GPP not approve yet.
which means nd to work v hard tis few weeks oredi.
plus WR n EoM. i didnt realli do anithing abt it.
i guess its almost time. i nd to start on it oredi.
seriously. i dun realli like PW la.
its so damn super sian lo. spend so much time on it. LOLx.

juz now went out a while to get some food.
haha. i noe i hav to eat.
all my frens r telling mi dat la.
n anyway. alot of my frens r actually realli studying.
im like so lag behind. like a slacker. LOLx.
im wondering whether i can finish wat im supposed to anyway.
haha. so anyway bought yakun n old chang kee. for my mum oso.
damn long nvr eat ya kun oredi. its damn nice. LOLx.
n guess wat. when im buying yakun my order was no.7!
LOLx. lucky 7. my favourite number =)

i hav been saving money n everything.
n tml im meeting jiayan! for fish n co.
LOLx. i finally get a chance to eat dat. yay!
although its oni 2 of us. i noe we will enjoy it =)
n we r going to the glass house. haha.
ok. deres photos i wan to upload. but im too lazy le.
so mayb some other time ba.
n i realise im realli not v friendly to some pple.
so sorie abt dat. but i dun find the need to. haha.

i dunno whether im moving on.
i oni noe im gonna live happily w/o u.
but actually u r still my number 7.
the no. 7 dat will always b in my heart. =)

2008-06-04T16:37:00.003+08:00

ok. i realli realli hav to apologise here.
SORIE. to all my frens n whoever dat work wif mi.
haha. cause i tink recently i got PMS.
plus my sms burst oredi!
so im a bit de frustrated to reply sms.
sometimes dun even reply coz dun wan to waste it =x
ya. so v sorie.
i noe i hav been v stubborn n attitude recently.
hope u pple understand yeah.
hope dat u pple c tis post anyway.
recently cant realli tink.
so sometimes i tok w/o tinkin.
im so so sorie.
ok. i say it 3 times oredi. LOLx.
its definitely not easy for mi.
unless u all dunno i pay my own phone bill.
yeah. so every end of the month will b abit stress.
i hardly had anytime to complete my work n stuff.
my mum still ask mi to go n work..............
i hav nth to say.
of coz i said no. i dun hav time for it.
n of coz. she doesnt understand at all.
im starting to worry abt my future oredi.
how m i going to pay for my uni fees??
i bet n im sure dat im gonna borrow money.
n i will hav to return when i start working.
i believe dats how my life is gonna b.
similiar to my 1st sis.
but to mi. shes slightly more fortunate than mi.
n she save even more money than mi.
i wonder how.
coz i tink i oredi save more than my frens.
n they wonder y too. LOLx.
n i tink the perfect future i hope i will get.
is going further away from mi oredi.
reality is always far from wat we realli wan.
bcoz sometimes things r beyond our control.
deres nth i can do rit??
but. i will try my v best to go towards wat i wan =)

ok. alot of my frens say my post damn emo.
LOLx. making my blog emo too.
i dunno wat to say.
but i will try my best to live it up. haha.
n as u can c. im kinda moving on oredi.
hopefully the rest of my post wun b emo anymore.
oni family n personal stuff. no more BGR. haha.

2008-06-01T18:56:00.002+08:00

ok. its time to move on.
its time to move on. LOLx.
thanks for at least wanting to treat mi to the movie.
my favourite movie narnia.
y issit my favourite movie??
bcoz of u.
but oso thanks for being frank to mi.
dat im not worth ur time.
nah. its ok. i shld juz watch wif my frens.
the most i dun watch la.
its ok actually.
i agree to a certain extent.
dat i shld nvr go out wif him.
moreover to watch narnia wif him.
coz i will nvr b able to move on.
i will stuck dere forever.
yeah. mayb its not worth it.
coz he dun realli care anyway.
ok. i dunno.
my blog doesnt seem to b abt my life anymore.
its more abt mi n him. LOLx.
i will try to add more of my daily life thing ba.
mayb now everything doesnt seem as impt as him.
wat m i tokin abt??
haha. watever lo.
but im seriously not ready to accept anyone.
i dunno whether i wan anyway.
mayb im realli used to being on my own ba =)

2008-05-30T15:47:00.003+08:00

i cant deny im dumb. seriously dumb.
but its ok. i dun tink deres anithing wrong wif dat.
i tink i dunno how to live w/o u.
everyday im tinkin abt u n everything.
watever i do i will tink of u.
especially when im alone.
yesterday was 29 may.
nothing special.
the oni thing is dat its 29!
n its the day NARNIA came out.
n all i tink is u.
i dunno wat im tinkin of.
coz i shldnt even hope for anithing.
i dunno whether i shld watch wif my fren.
but i dunno wat im waiting for as well.
miracles dat will nvr happen??
its all lies isnt it.
like as if u will realli get something for mi??
asking mi to wait for ur present.
i guess dats juz to make mi happy ba.
i noe i dun hav to wait anymore.
WATEVER!
i juz hope dat i can live happily w/o u.
dats all.

im like super duper free compared to my frens.
though i actually hav alot of things to do.
but dats bcoz i dun wan to stay at home.
aft skol i feel like going out to eat.
dun feel like going home or anithing.
n anyway. my home got nth.
but i dunno.
the frens i had now r all v home sweet home.
haha. meaning they like to go home.
meaning. they hav lunch/ dinner at home for them.
mi?? nothing.
its not dat i feel anithing.
juz dat it is v sian lo. seriously.
mayb i shld realli lead my own independent life ba.
it seems difficult to even find someone to shop tgt.
prehaps i shall go shop alone one day?? LOLx.

2008-05-30T15:41:00.003+08:00

远远在一起

多一秒世界就会被淹没
你还像个巨人紧紧拥抱我
离开你变得渺小的自我
很想从此就卑微的度过
失去真爱只剩快乐残骸
已感觉不到任何的存在

还是爱着你
只是我们之间有了距离
远远爱着你
就算不能够再靠近
同样的天空下总会有你

站在时间面前没法撤退
我们像两颗告别的尘灰
记得拥抱时天地有多美
记得没有谁能将这摧毁
寻觅真爱跌进人山人海
才发现没有线索可依赖

还是爱着你
不管我们之间什么距离
远远爱着你
就算不能够再靠近
同样的天空下总会有你
还是爱着你
不管我们之间什么距离
永远爱着你
就算不能够再靠近
就算在不同国度里
同样的天空下总会有你
有你

tis song is nice! =)

2008-05-24T13:40:00.002+08:00

i believe no one is ever as dumb as mi.
to b right here waiting for dat someone.
who dont even tink of mi at all.
oh. its like. 2 years or more than dat oredi.
didnt i realise hes gone n will nvr b back??
hes oredi somewhere waiting for someone else.
y m i here waiting for him.
but actually its realli not wat i wan.
to b still here like a dumb ass.
juz dat hes nvr out of mi. to mi.
i will tell myself once n for all.
b/w mi n him. ITS OVER!
hopefully someday i will understand.
n dat someday doesnt seem to come.

i will hide at some corner.
crying on my own.
coz i noe u r not dere.
i will nvr find u again.

2008-05-23T20:15:00.001+08:00

CHEETAH CHEERLEADING!
a bit late ah. but still. HAHA.
more photos coming up!
but anyway. if wan to c more videos.
of AJC cheerleading comp.
can go youtube. =)