i finally got myself something to do.
it's not like i got nothing to do at all.
but i just don't feel like doing anything.
have too many things in mind.
don't ask me what's in my mind.
sometimes it's too complex that i don't even know what's there.
maybe 'cause life is so boring now that i try to put more things into my mind.
the funny thing is i don't sleep even though i have nothing to do.
in fact i sleep at 1plus everyday and i have no idea what i have been doing.
i really need to have some goals in life.
maybe i should consider self-studying.
but the thing is i don't even feel like doing anything when i reach home from work.
just feel brain drained and lethargic.
guess i have been using too much of my mind.
it's time to stop thinking so much.

i need to decide where to put my dog when i go jap real soon.
but i'm still unsure. thinking about the cost and everything.
oh no. i'm going maybank chinatown branch for 2 weeks.
just feel really sian about it.
because i will be so bored down there.
and i have to learn to be independent like maybe go for lunch alone?
i guess i'm just worried because i don't know what's there to eat at chinatown.
though i think there is quite a lot of good food there.
well, will just see about it.
maybe things won't be as bad as what i think.
but i rather go for suntec IT show than NATAS@Chinatown.
sometimes things are just not within my control.

5th march is reaching. i don't want it to come.
i guess nobody wants it to come.
lol. but we don't have a choice.
we have to face it no matter what.
i don't know what i can hope for.
only hope for the best.
i wonder whether i really did my best this time round.
actually no. i can do better. much better.
this is the first time i panic for major exams.
this is the first time i feel that i won't get what i want.
compared to some, i certainly could have work harder.
O level is great diff from A level.
at least if we didn't do well for Os we can go to poly.
ITE is another pathway but i don't think i will be there.
but for As, where can we go if we don't get into local Uni?
some may say oversea uni. not for me.
private uni? more expensive.
i don't want myself to land anywhere else because it just show that i didn't do well for As.
after taking results i have to decide which pathway to take.
don't ask me what do i want to study.
don't ask me what do i want to be.
it all depends on my results which will be out on 5th March.
it's good that A level results is out on a friday.

anyway, a reminder to my friend though i already told some.
on 5th march, don't find me if you are happy with your results.
find me if you are unhappy with your results.
because i'm sure i can cry with you.
but i'm not sure whether i can laugh with you.
if i can laugh after i see my results i will go find you.
that's when we share our joy.
well, i can picture myself crying.
but the more i think, the more i feel that maybe in the end i won't cry.
i will just accept it.

杨丞琳-匿名的好友/匿名的朋友
（电视剧《海派甜心》插曲）


杜松混合茉莉的风
回忆里被爱那股激动
天色好红 温柔好浓
在胸口浮现 你的脸容

一起活在这城市迷宫
提起你名字心还跳动
却没重逢
只有想碰却又不敢碰的那种悸动

也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂 走进各自天空
该怎麼说 让彼此选择
但思念还转动

不能握的手
从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执著 依然执著
与你无关泪自行吸收

不能握的手
却比亲人更亲厚
但所有如果
都没有如果
只有失去的温柔
最温柔

当又一次美梦落空
回忆里被爱那股激动
天色好红 温柔好浓
在胸口浮现 你脸容

也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂 走进各自天空
那是什麼 让彼此选择
又不仅是尊重

不能握的手
从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执著 依然执著
与你无关泪自行吸收

不能握的手
却比亲人更亲厚
但所有如果
都没有如果
只有失去的温柔
最温柔

不能握的手
从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执著 依然执著
却决心和你不再联络

不能握的手
却比爱人更长久
当所有如果
都没有如果
只有失去的拥有
最永久

thanks for forgetting me.