haiz... realli feel like crying le... down on my luck!!! 3 things... first thing... go fren's hse play mj... wa... i lose lei... T.T juz dun like the feeling ba... nxt... walkin on the way home... slipper spoil!?! omg... gonna drag my way home... luckily i can take 'cow ride'... figure out urself... lolx... last thing... LCB... get home kanna scolded by the LCB... T.T qi si wo le... realli wanna cry le la... i oredi cried in the cinema tis afternoon... lolx... when i was watching NARNIA... wow... it was nice... v nice... hate to c anybody or anithing dying... then cry lo... but luckily it has a happy ending... lolx... if not i will cry again le... everybody is alive!!! hehe... not gonna gamble again... waste $$$...

**my promise to my darling... not to gamble again... unless it is a small bet...

skol reopening... everybody jiayou wor!!!

wahaha.. today is 2nd month de monthsary nehz... darling make lotsa hearts using paper... i teach him de.. lolx... then go walk walk... take neoprint... then watch alot like love... man... find v long de nehz... shitty friendster... i cant write testimonial for my darling... n oso other pple... i dunno y... anyway... bought a hp... hehe... z520i... sony ericsson.. got a new number oso... but nvr give lotsa pple... nw oni 2 of my frens noe nia... c how ba.. i oso dunno...

man... lazy to type lei... not free oso... c when free then update ba...

blehz... forgot to write yesterday... i chose a new specs... T.T.. which i dun like... no choice... if i realli dun like then i will make again ba... go other shop... black n white... i actually wan find pink then cant... haiz... i dunno lei... wear dat a bit ugly de... bu zhi dao... a bit regret.. suan le ba... nvm...

then... once again... HAPPY MERRY X'MAS to everybody!!! so sianz... i stay at home nehz... T.T

then... one more thing... gonna buy hp... hehe... hehe... hehe... dotx... motorola v3 betta... or nec n411i betta... or z520i betta... or nokia 6101 betta??? dunno... dunno... wo bu zhu dao... mayb end up nvr buy... oso dunno... lolx... then i may b using another number... shld i inform everybody??? v sianz de nehz... liddat... send sms is a waste... call oso no time... dunno lei... of coz my darling will b the first to noe... aiya... bu zhi dao la... tired liao... go do my knitting n holiday homework liao... blehz... cant finish le... lolx...

2nd post of the day... lolx... not v happy... back frm last day of work... hehe... get pay $400... wa... like so much... but overall minus hp bill n everything... i left 100... T.T so ke lian... without my hp bill i will left wif 300 nehz... haiz... crying le... xin tong nehz... but bo bian... mum actually still owe mi 90... but i doubt she can return mi lo... nvm... forget it then... skol reopening... can save money le... hehe... nxt week go cut hair i oso hav to pay myself... mum alwaz say my hair no nd to cut... so i dun get frm her... so bad lo... haiz...

christmas eve stay at home alone nehz... tml oso... so sad... cant go out wif my darling... bcoz of the same prob lo... haiz... but nvm... tis is juz an obstacle... we can go thru it de... stay at home oso nvm... nvm... nvm... nvm... lotsa nvm sia... lolx...

k la... wish everybody... HAPPY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

back frm east coast... hehe... dat was yesterday... come back then slp liao =x my eyes still can open wide lo... juz dat feel like slping ma... i finally finally ton overnite le... meaning i nvr slp more than one hour... at east coast no... oni on the way home... lolx... a while nia lo... ok... the BBQ was in a mess... i tink the gals can start the fire betta than the guys... u noe how lousy they r... =x i dun like them... not gentleman at all... use finish de skewer then ask mi bring home... fine... ask mi help them wash... oso nvr help lo... we gals go wash then the guys juz stand dere tok... IDIOTS!!! dun like them... luckily tis is the last time i organise for them lo... but the weather was bad... raining n raining... sianz... darling canot go wif mi bcoz of NCC camp... man... for at least 2 days... cant tok... at least still can sms la... but i scare of my bill le lo... haiz... no choice la... miss my darling so much nehz... yesterday was a sad day as well... his mum tok lotsa craps... then of coz dun wan us to b together la... we wun leave each other de... but i c him everytime like so xin ku liddat... i dunno wat i can do... i m holding on ah... but sometimes i will tink mayb let go he will feel betta... of coz he will say no he cant live without mi... but at least his mum wun come fan him regarding tis matter ma... i dunno lei... we oredi promise not to leave each other le.. but how lei... i realli dun wan c him sad...

darmeo.. i realli love u de... i m worried... i dunno wat to do... i dun wan c u fan... i dun wan c u sad.. zhe me ban... T.T

yesterday was guzheng de BBQ... v little pple... ard 10 nia... but fun... BBQ then got lucky draw... due to so little pple... each can draw twice... i actually got 1 starter n another 2nd price... both photo albums... dotx... then enerjas got one of hers a clock... n i exchange wif her... the clock is nice... n she get my pink minnie album... a bit regret bcoz it is pink... but still ok la... dat was fun... real fun... we took pictures... but dunno using whose camera... i noe it will b v ugly... bcoz the wind was like blowing dunno until like wat... nite time ma... then at ard 9... we went to play pool... nice nice... i love it man... lolx... but cant play much lei... a bad news indeed... haiz... 16 teachers leaving skol nxt yr... T.T wat a skol... wif all the good teachers leaving... wif some of the teachers i like leaving... haiz... wat will zhonghua become... wat will i bcome...

k.. back to today... sad sad... i got my hp bill... o my... $130... T.T man... crying le la... bankrupt liao... sometimes i hope i dun hav a hp... yes... i wanna hav new hp as well... but i noe i will nvr get it... my hp bill liddat... wat else can i say... i realli dun wan use hp... mayb i will lose contact wif my fren... but somehow i tink is alrite... but... how abt my darling... haiz... i muz try v hard to save le... dun blame mi...

i feel bad actually... pple ask mi out but i cant... realli cant ma... not i dun wan... nxt week will b the last week of holiday le... o man... it sucks... i haven finish homework... dats the prob... gonna chiong liao... tml will stay at home... hehe... pray god... i muz finish my homework on time... thursday got another BBQ... hope everything will b fine ba... sad to hear pple say they r not going... haiz... everything seems so sad actually...

today morning receive one letter... i get the gd progress award... but... i dunno whether to go collect on 27 dec... or wait for skol to present it in jan... dunno lei... c how ba... today get my specs... ok oni la... dunno y... juz find it ok nia... it is black lo.. my bag is oso black... now i got 3 favourite colour le... white, pink n black... my darling oso like black... lolx... nvm la... pink or black oso can... dat day go buy skol u... o my... no size... sianz... then i hav to go back again liao...

nxt week will b busy le... sunday go dog show... monday got guzheng BBQ... tuesday hav to collect money frm some of my primary skol frens... wed go buy BBQ thingy for thursday de BBQ... thursday will b primary skol de BBQ... friday then go home... wow... everyday book le... lolx... cant go anywhere liao...

anyway... now back to myself le... i m happy again... hehe... darmeo... wo ai si ni le =)

alrite... tok abt yesterday nite de thingy ba... i cried... not bcoz of wat... juz bcoz i heard dat someone say i m flirt... yup... he may b jokin... but it realli hurts la... o my... my conscience is clear man... how can i flirt when i dun even like pple to flirt... i can say n admit dat i like to b wif guys... i can say n admit dat somehow i like my guy fren more than my gal fren... i can say n admit dat i can go out wif all guys n one gal myself alone... i dun mind... not bcoz i m flirting... who cares whether they like mi... i mean love... i dun even wan them to like mi... i treat all guys fren as my v gd de fren... my buddy... n my brother... mayb to some pple gals wun tink tis way... watever it is... i m who i m lo... those who misunderstand mi r those who dun understand mi at all... i juz find dat whenever i hav prob it concern guys... mayb to some pple i shld hate them... but somehow whenever i hav prob my guy fren help mi more then my gal fren... bcoz they understand guys... telling guys abt my prob n listening to them is listening to another point of view... n somehow i feel betta aft dat... is anithing wrong wif dat??? haiz... guy fren do create prob sometimes... but i hav to say dat i realli treat them as my fren...

nvm... back to today... went to make my specs... hehe... now then i realise my degree is so low... rite -150 left -175... lolx... not bad ah... nvr increase nvr decrease n nehz... i die die oso wan dat specs i chose... n i realise my skol is so fussy even over specs.. canot thick frame blah blah blah... i make one... the side frame r thick... but can b taken out... so is like i can take out the thick frame when i m in skol... put it back when i m out of skol... lolx... not bad ah... i choose v long nehz... bcoz cant find suitable lens de shape ma... finally found one... hehe... but the colour of coz not my fav colour... is ok la... then no more frameless... aft dat go buy skol shoe... i like dat one... can say i m v happy... bcoz yesterday juz bought my fav bag... of coz not my fav colour again... mi de pink edition gonna change le... nvm la... the bag is black... my darling like it ma... then the specs a bit black a bit green la... haiz... somehow i feel like crying... WHERE IS MY PINK?!?! i m still a pink lover k... dun c mi liddat hor...

then my primary skol gathering is set on 22 dec... at east coast... BBQ + ton lo... i gonna book the pit... call everybody n tell them... haiz... like v diff to find everybody lo... gd thing is i can tell them... i wun b organising again... so tis may b the last time... other pple wun organise de... every end of yr pple will find mi... say 'hey holiday liao... rmb to organise gethering hor'... even if they liddat say... whenever i hav a gathering... they will say c first mayb got something on... wats tis... yup... they noe dat it is stress to b an organiser... n somehow wif no one helping... dats y nobdy else ever wanna do anithing abt it... mayb they realli hav to noe how it feels to b like mi...

aft 1 week 2 days... lolx... finally meet my darling... hehe... today aft 3 hours of guzheng... went to bugis... find mi bag... darling buy for mi de christmas present... v early hor... dun say i not good nehz... i oso got buy him things de... nvr say nia ma... lolx... then aft dat go orchard wheelock... buy his bag... v ex de bag... at least to mi... aft dat go shaw house... watch chicken little... at first nearly cry... but then is still ok la... not much comment... dunno lei... nth much to say actually... juz wanna thank my darling ba... lolx...

guzheng was tiring... practice for 3 hours nehz... non-stop... then learn chinese new yr song...

zzzz...

wahaha... so long nvr update liao... lolx... internet got some prob la... anyway... WELCOME BACK TO SINGAPORE!!! tis is for my didi... heya... sorie ah... u msg mi i nvr reply... nvr use dat phone ma... lolx... i noe i m lame la... anyway... today is one of my ex de birthday... aiyo... thing i hav to say to the guys... pls cherish wat u hav b4 it is gone...

anyway... i dunno how long i nvr update le la... but i oredi 1 week 1 day nvr meet my darling le... T.T went to pet movers today... man... heavy rain nehz... anyway 2 days ltr... hehe... can meet my darling le... =p i dreamt abt him tis afternoon aft i came home frm pet movers... i dreamt dat he went out n nvr tell mi... then i cant find him... call him nvr ans... man... cry nehz... lolx... dunno y liddat... anyway it is damn scary... so long nvr update... but i dun hav much thing to say lei...

ANYWAY PPLE... I HAV A REQUEST - HELP MI TAG MY BOARD... lolx... no matter who u r la...

i m not the happy naoko anymore... dun ask mi y... i dun even noe y.. haiz... i cried... bcoz i realise my heart consist of hatred.. n is someone i shldnt hate... i realli dunno... realli damn fan... i m sorie... getting depress again.. omg... can anybody help mi??? i dunno... tml is jerry de birthday le... i tink le... i wun sms him... i will write him testimonial ba... mayb it is fated... yup... i do believe in ate... mayb now liddat is he best ba... if one day he realli forget him i will b glad... suan le... dun wanna tok abt him anymore... sometimes i juz wish someone will scold mi.. so dat i can bcome awake... my mind is not clear now... haiz... aft some tinkin... i realise i dun like pple who treat mi as godsis or fren for sometime n forget mi le... i shld say get lost to those pple... bcoz i can get hurt by fren juz bcoz of tis... i take frenship too seriously... like i say... once my fren forever my fren... once my godbro forever my godbro... once my godsis forever my godsis... i wun forget them... neither do i wanna them to forget mi... i wun look for u again if i tink dat u dun treat mi as one anymore... i realli do hav such feeling... haiz...

if you're not the one lyrics

if you're not the one-daniel bedingfield


If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms

wa piang... i dunno whether i shld say lucky or unlucky lo... yesterday mi n my darling went to orchard... o my... guess who we met... MS LONG... dotx... i dunno whether she got c mi la... she juz say 'smile somemore'... omg... then aft saw her bf lei... taller than her... but size is a bit smaller ba... wear specs... then dunno how to describe le...

then at nite we went to east point mall for mr quek de performance... o my... i tot i can run away frm his eyes... but aft the performance... i sit near the MRT station while my darling went to buy something... mr quek go to the nearby coffee shop... i tot he cant recognise mi... but he keep looking at mi... then say 'o... so u r here... i keep looking ard but didnt c u..'... lolx... then of coz thank mi for going... give mi his email n ask mi add him... it was close...

sad thing again... jerry de fren... a gal add mi in msn... but not in friendster... weird... haiz... she brought up my past... though she is good by saying 'since u got bf u shld concentrate on him'... but she still ask mi those question wat... wats the diff... i hate my past... i dun like to tink of my past... i dun like 'her'... i dunno y... she is ok... i realli dunno y... but i say b4 lo... i cant hate anyone... bcoz i will end up crying... dats y i m upset... haizzzzz..... fan si ren le... somehow i oso dun like pple who noe her n like her... more fan nehz.... jerry de fren say 'forgive n forget'... yup... i forgave jerry... but not her... haiz.... dunno y... but i will alwaz say a scar will forever b a scar... dats y i nvr patch wif him... his birthday is reaching... wat i will do is to wish him happy birthday lo... wo bu zhi dao... zhen de hen fan... i dun like myself to b full of hatred...

wa... lotsa things to say... but the v v first thing... is HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to yj... lolx... yesterday his birthday nehz... went to ps... duh... still got other place meh... then watch zathura... man... super nice... i'm loving it... lolx... somemore tis is the first birthday... we rush to buy a present... it was fun n memorable... at dere i saw denise... lolx... my primary skol fren... v happy to c her... yesterday my starting mood is happy la... aft the movie... nvr take neoprint nehz... but go jy hse... scan neoprint... mi n my darling de... lolx... finally got pple help mi scan liao... then tok tok tok... 7+ then go home...

then v happy... bcoz my long lost fren add mi in msn... hehe... is my primary skol fren... p6 then nvr tok much liao... yesterday keep tokin abt last time... so happy... lolx...
i realise something oso... i dun like full of hatred de mi... i dun wanna hate pple... but somehow i dislike pple... haiz... i dunno la... tink abt tis then fan...

sorie to my darling bcoz i m not able to go mr quek concert... v tired... tis few days alwaz go out... then alwaz reach home late... simei is realli too far le... then sorie abt yesterday oso... tok halfway then i in great pain... wow... pain until i cry... in the middle of the nite when everybody is slping... pain for more than one hour... finally i scream... then walk ard the hse... i was feeling betta le b4 my mum bring mi to the doctor... haiz...

o... ya... i m learning knitting now... hehe... wish mi good luck wor... i dun wanna do wrongly nehz... lolx...