i finally got myself something to do.
it's not like i got nothing to do at all.
but i just don't feel like doing anything.
have too many things in mind.
don't ask me what's in my mind.
sometimes it's too complex that i don't even know what's there.
maybe 'cause life is so boring now that i try to put more things into my mind.
the funny thing is i don't sleep even though i have nothing to do.
in fact i sleep at 1plus everyday and i have no idea what i have been doing.
i really need to have some goals in life.
maybe i should consider self-studying.
but the thing is i don't even feel like doing anything when i reach home from work.
just feel brain drained and lethargic.
guess i have been using too much of my mind.
it's time to stop thinking so much.

i need to decide where to put my dog when i go jap real soon.
but i'm still unsure. thinking about the cost and everything.
oh no. i'm going maybank chinatown branch for 2 weeks.
just feel really sian about it.
because i will be so bored down there.
and i have to learn to be independent like maybe go for lunch alone?
i guess i'm just worried because i don't know what's there to eat at chinatown.
though i think there is quite a lot of good food there.
well, will just see about it.
maybe things won't be as bad as what i think.
but i rather go for suntec IT show than NATAS@Chinatown.
sometimes things are just not within my control.

5th march is reaching. i don't want it to come.
i guess nobody wants it to come.
lol. but we don't have a choice.
we have to face it no matter what.
i don't know what i can hope for.
only hope for the best.
i wonder whether i really did my best this time round.
actually no. i can do better. much better.
this is the first time i panic for major exams.
this is the first time i feel that i won't get what i want.
compared to some, i certainly could have work harder.
O level is great diff from A level.
at least if we didn't do well for Os we can go to poly.
ITE is another pathway but i don't think i will be there.
but for As, where can we go if we don't get into local Uni?
some may say oversea uni. not for me.
private uni? more expensive.
i don't want myself to land anywhere else because it just show that i didn't do well for As.
after taking results i have to decide which pathway to take.
don't ask me what do i want to study.
don't ask me what do i want to be.
it all depends on my results which will be out on 5th March.
it's good that A level results is out on a friday.

anyway, a reminder to my friend though i already told some.
on 5th march, don't find me if you are happy with your results.
find me if you are unhappy with your results.
because i'm sure i can cry with you.
but i'm not sure whether i can laugh with you.
if i can laugh after i see my results i will go find you.
that's when we share our joy.
well, i can picture myself crying.
but the more i think, the more i feel that maybe in the end i won't cry.
i will just accept it.