HAHA. my blog reach 200 posts le. =p anyway. now im studying. hehe. tml re-exam liao lo. can say no confident la. but how can i let bio defeat mi?? nono. not right. i can do it de. =)

yesterday chat wif my kor a while. feeling great. HAHA. he alwaz help mi alot de. make mi understand alot of things. he oso say he tink i different le. grow up liao. YAY. HAHA. aft 8 relationships?? finally i understand le. hehe. thanks to dat bastard?? he make mi realise how the world is realli like lo. isnt dat gd n perfect like wat we tink. yeah. i realli change le. somehow to another person. but its gd la. =p

something struck mi yesterday. all along its juz a bet. all along its juz a bet. i keep tinkin. was kinda sad. but its oredi over le. whether its juz a bet whether its true. does it matter now. no longer matters ba. watever dat has happen doesnt seem to show dat its juz a bet. but mayb i juz hav to accept it?? i juz got a feeling dat im a fool. last time de mi rather being dumb. now de mi lei?? not v sure oso. now even if im sad. its not bcoz i lose him. its ok to lose him. bcoz hes oredi such a bastard le. LOLx. im sad bcoz im a fool?? for the past few months. i dunno whether the bet is realli true. mayb yes mayb no. i juz seem like a fool. dats all.

tis week n nxt week will b working alot. tis few days alot of lobang sia. HAHA. tis week work frm thurs to sunday. then nxt week work frm wed to saturday?? sunday got dog show. at sembawang. no matter wat. wun forget to study n do homework de. LOLx.

dat day while working. i tink its sunday. i saw Ms Yam. LOLx. but i didnt call her. i doubt she rmb mi anyway. she bought some clothes. im juz so near to her lo. she give mi a feeling dat she rmb the class but not the pple. mayb juz a few. those experts in chem lo. got alot of things to say lei. but other day la. gonna study.

PRINCESS HOUR is so nice =)

dun treat mi like a fool. a flirt will regret wat he did in future de.
hoping to b wif the one i love in future...

i love my mummy!!! HAHA. seems a bit weird ya. but i realli tink so nehz. dats y now my attitude towards her is different le. =p she oso say i bcome guai liao. buy things for her. wash my clothes. iron my clothes. LOLx. not too free. juz doing something i tink i shld. but not alwaz la. sometimes oni. at least got improvement rit. mayb bcoz now i got work le ba. dats y mum try to understand mi. yeah. her birthday reaching le. hehe. celebrate celebrate celebrate.

anyway. i oso love my sisters. my real siblings. although they all get married le. they hav hubby liao. not living wif us anymore. i still miss them alot alot. they still treat mi v gd oso. HAHA. dats y im happy. pple will envy mi for having 3 sis. but i wun envy them for having bros, i dunno y. mayb i realli prefer to hav all sisters?? liddat then closer ba?? different pple different tinkin la. LOLx.

i like my sistas too. HAHA. tis time is frens ba. alwaz dere for mi de. alwaz hav fun tgt. crazy tgt. yeah. alot ba. huimin,sophia,rueylin,meijun,germaine,wanchun... so on la. do i hav to name all out?? LOLx. all my frens. I LOVE THEM. hehe. gals or boys la. all my frens. my jies oso. =p

tis paragraph is for my bro de la. LOLx. kor or di. ok la. thank them all. esp di lo. HAHA. help mi alot. alwaz pei mi n buy things for mi. waste money =x anyway. yeah. THANKS =)

yesterday was M&M. terrible. but nvm. its over. i love ELDDS de acting. OMG. its so funny n nice. the pple in front of mi keep laughing n commenting at the same time. LOLx. i oni manage to watch EL =( but then ok la. i rather watch EL i tink. LOLx. then took pictures again. sec 4s n sec 3s. we r united man. not wif the juniors though. dun ask y. all the seniors so gd. all come back buy sweets n chocs. LOLx. shiok nehz. they r the best. HAHA.

yeah man. dats the right attitude. hes juz an asshole. LOLx.

altogether 8. i love tis 3 the most. yet i get the most hurt frm them as well. deres wrong in treating someone too gd?? deres wrong in loving someone too much?? somehow. watever i hav done for them r not being appreciated. i did get back in return. happy times. but i tink most of it is hurt. u all will regret mahx?? im dumb. rit. believe in pple too easily. loving tis 3 so much who ended up hurting mi.

history repeating itself. for 3 times. bcoz of tis 3 guys. issit realli bcoz deres something wrong wif mi?? issit my fault?? or the guys simply r not devoted enough. when the very 3rd time happen once again. it change my tinkin totally. i was once so damn believe in love. in watever the guys say. now no longer anymore. watever they say. i will start askin myself. is dat the truth?? will couples nowadays realli last?? i will start telling myself. watever they say r untrue. its all lies. promises r nth to them. they alwaz break it in the end. when they dun wan u anymore. when they start to lose interest in u. they juz throw u to one corner. in the dark corner. all by urself. arrow shooting towards u. so hurting. i once trusted them so much. pple tink im stupid. yet now. i lose trust in them.

the very first one. i hav to say. i miss him up till now. realli. he will nvr noe. bcoz its alwaz in my heart. he wun b able to come to tis blog. he will nvr noe wat im tinkin. he will nvr c wat i hav written. he broke my heart. but aint dat bad. juz for a short while?? at least aft dat he realise everything. but i doubt i can ever c him again.

the second one lei. i hav to say. when break i cry like hell. as if im dying. mayb bcoz of tis. 50-70% of the love is gone ba. dats y now i oni hav a little bit of feelings left. i hav to say sorie. bcoz hes realli gd. yeah. but i dun tink i can hav him. i oni hope he can b happy ba.

the last one. i dunno wat to say. i dunno how i feel at all. sometimes i feel nth. sometimes i feel a bit of pain. but i noe v well. among the 3 i treat him the best. i realli hav to say dat. dats y when break. i keep tinkin. my fault?? i seriously tink i treat him v gd le. if the way i treat him isnt gd enough. he can find a betta one. i hav nth to say. realli. if its realli a betta one i dun mind then. i noe i hav done my best. not as if im the one unfaithful. but the weird thing is he will nvr regret. i treat him the best. yet he feel nth rit now.
imagine. he sick i pei him go c doc. i buy lunch for him. i help him wif his work. i buy a notebook for him so dat he can organise his time well. i help him copy lyrics when he say he wan it. i waited for him when he got extra lesson. i dunno got wat else. still not gd??
mayb realli not gd ba. im not saying dat he dun treat mi gd la. yes. he treat mi gd too. not the best though. but contented le. i dunno wats wrong. but its juz liddat. i dunno bcoz of wat. i dun wanna noe either. it will oni make mi feel even worse. mayb he shld juz say he dun love mi enough or mayb not at all. yeah. then mayb im stupid to tink so far in the first place. if he tink got more suitable de, betta ones, he realli love one. then go ahead lo. gd luck to him then. hope he realli noe wats love lo.

HAHA. i realise i will post when i hav nobody to tok to. as in say all the things i wan la. sometimes its juz like some sharing lo. juz like the previous post. the MV. OMG. LOLx.

anyway. today got M&M rehearsal. i was tinkin. i rather commit myself to my fren n guzheng. watsoever. even my job. betta than BASTARDS rit. LOLx. duh. today aft the rehearsal is actually 3plus. then some of us stay back. to discuss abt how to organise the guzheng n how to b strict to the sec 2s. i dunno how to describe them. seriously got some prob wif their attitude towards guzheng. yeah. was kinda sad. but we decided to continue learning guzheng aft we graduate. =p frm our beloved chen lao shi. arghh. we miss her. LOLx.

forget to mention in my previous post. i wanna buy a charles n keith de shoe. HAHA. im lovin it. c how la. muz try first rit. hehe.

anyway. was quite sad juz now. dun fele like tokin abt it anymore. i will juz forget abt it. LOLx. its ok. im ok. my frens say im more cheerful rit now =p im so happy. dunno y lei. i juz feel happy when they say im happier rit now. or mayb they juz dunno when im sad?? LOLx. ok la. but im sure life is betta rit now. full of hope n dreams. HAHA. full of music too. tokin abt music. OMG. how i wish i hav all the songs in tis world. not missing out any of them. seems a bit impossible. i wan a music paradise. WAHAHA =x

i realise deres so many things i hav to do in my life. i shall not waste my time tinkin of stupid bastards. tinkin of worthless n useless guys. yeah. im gonna earn n save money. for my very own future. LOLx.

i dunno. i realli dunno. wat i shld do. i dunno wats the best thing for mi. for him. for everybody. somehow when i feel sad i wanna c him2. but hes alwaz nowhere to b found. a few times a yr. OMG. dats long. how long m i gonna wait for the nxt time. mayb dere no more nxt time le. i dunno. wats the point la. its been almost 2 yrs le. mayb juz c him i will b happier?? LOLx. sometimes juz hope he can b dere when i realli nd someone lo. dats all. i dunno. somehow im lost n confuse.

i cried when i noe everything. bcoz im sad dat u r so happy. LOLx. (seems a bit evil ya. bo bian.)

oh no. im going bankrupt liao. LOLx. nvm. work work work. but nvr forget my bio re exam. on 29th nov. JIAYOU. seems a bit ridiculous ya. class position 10. level position 52. yet. nd to take re exam. LOLx. but its ok. i canot fail la. im not gonna drop it. yeah. aft my bio re exam. im gonna start my homework =p

anyway. went to sentosa n vivo city today. LOLx. finally i went dere. although vivo keep reminding of the someone who i miss alot. dat day i miss the chance of going wif him to vivo. yeah. n sentosa reminds mi of dat bastard. yeah. anyway. of coz i did enjoy myself. it actually can b more fun. if it didnt rain. so sianz lo. but of coz we took pictures. WAHAHA. dats mi rit. n dats us. went wif DAREDEVILS. without jy though. everytime she juz cant go out wif us. i dunno bcoz of wat. yet we tried so hard to meet up everytime. we r gonna go dere again. LOLx. its so fun.

let mi back track. dat day went kster. then keep singing for more than 3 hours. then looking at the MV. one of it make mi cry. OMG. but i tried to hide my tears la. im so emo. LOLx. anyway. the MV is acted out by selina n another guy. selina wanted to b a singer. so the guy being her bf. support her. encourage her n treat her damn gd. so one day. the guy go buy herbal tea for selina so dat she can sing betta. on the way to meet selina. he get knock down by a car. n dats the end of his life. he died. selina dun even noe wat happen. tried to look for him. wondering y he MIA all a sudden. end up she realise he died. but she continue to b singer. then she told the reporter she wanted to dedicate the song to dat guy. bcoz without him she wun bcome a singer. n she started singing. as she sing she cried. OMG. so sad. the song actually somehow describe how lonely she was losing the one she love. so nice. i feel like composing my own song. writing my own lyrics roo. LOLx. dat will b so cool.

we realli cant live without music lo. so nice. i wan to collect lots of songs lei =p LOLx. anyway. im gonna b busy again. wif M&M. tis week.

WAHAHA. juz come back frm chalet =p yesterday. dat was yesterday. LOLx. hav been busy tis few days. yes. took pictures. but lazy to upload =x HAHA. one day i will. now not at home. at sis hse.

i realise the change in mi. which is gd. but some things confuse mi. some things make mi wanted to change my mind. i dunno. LOLx. let mi tink abt it.

anyway. i bought my jacket. quite some time ago. juz dat i didnt mention here. HAHA. deres alot of things i wan. i nd to buy. money is the prob. so i promise myself. i hav to study n earn alot of money for my v own future. everything belongs to mi n nobody else. not selfish la. LOLx.

i came to love the word 'retribution'. i came to love purple =p but i wun forget my favourite pink. HAHA. n i came to love singing even more. visiting KBOX, KSTER n PARTY WORLD. i came to love pubs too. i nvr realli been dere. juz once. not for drinking of coz. im not allow to b inside though. LOLx. ya. shld i say i love them when im sad?? somehow ba. but when im happy i will wan to go dere too. HAHA. but when one is sad definitely wan to go somewhere he or she loves rit. of coz b wif someone he or she love la. but no. i didnt go wif the one i love. LOLx. oni family n frens. i dunno who i love rit now though. not tokin abt family n frens la. i love them of coz. =p

i can nvr imagine one forget a past relationship juz liddat. mayb if i got a guy rit here bside mi i will forget too. LOLx. somehow im forgetting la. without another guy of coz. alone wif frens n bros. HAHA. but its ok. happy jiu hao le. even if i cry its not bcoz of anithing. juz the memories itself. which i will nvr get back. so juz cry n forget abt it. i mean put it aside. yeah. i realli learn alot tis time. thanks. u make mi understand n double confirm wat i hav been tinkin. u make mi c the world n guys more clearly. its sad dat the world n guys r liddat. but deres no way anybody can change it. so juz accept it.

juz come back for KBOX. yeah. kind of tired. but in the mood of typing. HAHA. bcoz aft singing i will hav lotsa tots in my mind. muz let out. if not burst. tml still gonna work. LOLx. JIAYOU!!

its all my fault.
i make myself hurt so much.
hurt so bad.
i nvr ever regret so much.

tml will b a betta day.
cry now n laugh tml.

im not affected =)

HAHA. today is the 2nd day of my work. =p dun ask mi how was it. alot of pple ask le. i dunno how to ans. bcoz its was juz liddat ah. LOLx. yeah. then i made frens of coz. but then not my age de. mostly 20++ n get married liao. most of them got children le. but tokin to mature pple oso gd ah. HAHA. learn alot of things.

then they ask mi abt my bf. nth much to tok abt. then she ask how many ex i hav. i told her. so she ended up askin issit deres a prob wif mi. yeah. i was tinkin too. everytime aft a break up i ask myself the same old questions. i tink mayb n most prob. deres a prob wif mi. i dunno wat. LOLx. anyway. yeah. i agree deres a prob wif mi. gonna stay single forever?? i dun mind. as long as i can survive in tis world myself. =p

tml is bio SPA. HAHA. gonna b dead. wish mi luck. JIAYOU.

hmm. wat else. im enjoying my life rit now. nobody can affect mi =)

i guess dats all?? LOLx.

i admit i miss u. i admit i cant forget u. i admit my love for u is still dere. but no matter how sad i m. how hurtful everything is. i will let u go. i hav to face the fact n the reality. no matter how cruel it is. no matter whether i wan to. bcoz i hav no other choice.

now i hav made up my mind. i wan to depend on myself. nvr depend on guys. i may hav a stead. but dat someone has to respect watever im doing. nvr ever stop mi frm doing wat i wan to. dat someone has to b dere when i nd him. dat someone has to love mi wif all his heart.

dere r some things which i muz hav n do in my future.
1) learn jap language
2) hav a driving licence
3) get a car
4) hav my own dog
5) go for make-up courses

all tis r juz interest ba. its time to start saving money rit now. for my v own future. deres still a shopping list waiting for mi.
1) I.P. zone purple jacket
2) slipper
3) bag
4) mascara
5) lip balm n gloss

i guess dats all for now?? LOLx. cant tink of anithing else rit now. im finding jobs. im gonna work =p

i wanted to b dere for u. but unfortunately. u dun nd mi anymore. u ignore mi. u r happy rit now. its retirbution. mayb its all my fault. but doesnt matter. i wan to b happy. with u without u i hav to b happy. i hav my goals. i hav my dreams. without u i hav to carry on. but i believe my conscience is clear. i nvr let myself down. i love u wif all my heart. im serious in all relationships. i didnt treat u unkind as well. u chose tis way. since u r happy without mi i hav nth to say.

i hav a miss call yesterday. private number. 130am. LOLx. seriously dunno who issit la. anyway. if its something impt. i noe dat person will call mi again de.

i waited today. i miss the chance to go out wif him dat day. but it seems like we hav no fate. i noe he did online juz now. but i didnt manage to tok to him. sianz. wait wait wait n wait. oso dunno waiting for wat sia. but then its ok la. it doesnt make a diff to mi oso. LOLx. dat day may come. dats day may not. it all depends.

anyway. i tink i realli nd to thank my di. alwaz b my listener. treat mi oso v gd. LOLx. is till owe him his birthday card. i wun forget de.

tis few days hav been busy actually. ,meet up customers. hav workshops. peer tutor n bio. tml actually having flag day. but im not going. bcoz of the bio workshop. luckily i oredi hav 100 hours. so i guess i dun hav to do anymore?? but flag day is fun. i miss the chance. but its ok.

y m i typing so much?? LOLx. still nd to study lo. finding jobs. jiayou jiayou JIAYOU. i can do it one. =p actually still got alot of things to say la. but kind of lazy. n i dun tink i hav to type everything here ba?? HAHA.