arghh. im sick =( when one is having fever. the whole body feel numb. yes. 2 days nvr go to work le. nvr go work yet cant do my homework. sick how to do homework. =( sianz. gonna chiong le la.

anyway. tink abt somethings as well. i wanna thank him. even though watever he is doing now seem so sucky. like an asshole. i still wanna thank him. i dunno the reason of him doing tis. too irritating or watsoever. i dun care. bcoz i still believe dat i hav no wrong. making him stress or watsoever. i dun tink its rit for him to do dat to mi either. im not gonna push all the blames to him. so dun do dat to mi as well. anyway. its over. juz like wat he say dat day. the game is over. rit. i dun understand y he nd to lie to mi. i dun hav to understand. but he did lie to mi. dats a fact. promises r meant to b broken. dats wat he told mi dat day as well. watever hurting words came out frm his mouth. i wun forget. i tink i rmb every single word dat he say. rit. i shld let go n forget everything juz like wat he did. dun worry. i will.

but i nd to thank him. bcoz i noe the reason i like him. last time. all the happy times. r wat he gave to mi. i noe the reason i cried aft everything is over. bcoz of the happy times as well. yes. he can make everybody happy. although when everything is over its like shit. i still thank him for giving mi those happy times. n bcoz of him as well. i understand alot of things. abt guys. dat change my tinkin. almost everything. im no longer last time de mi. not the same anymore. i dunno whether its a gd thing. but somehow it makes my life miserable too. i rather im someone who is so stupid to believe watever a guy said. dats wat im used to b. but now im no longer liddat. i dun like now de mi.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! everybody. LOLx.
today muz post. bcoz muz say merry christmas to everybody.
though kinda boring tis yr.
actually almost every christmas is kinda boring to mi.
but doesnt matter.
i made frens tis yr.
at robinsons raffles city.
pple of all ages. LOLx.
but bcoz of work oso miss quite alot of fun.
no worries. i still got a long life.
nxt yr. im gonna play aft O levels. =p
today robinsons close at 8pm.
i work until 8pm.
BUT. hav extra work.
setting up for tml's sales.
12.30am then reach home.
pple counting down. i on the way home.
tml 9am muz reach. continue to set up.
but i tink ard 12pm im coming home oredi.
i wanna chiong my holiday homework.
then the rest of the week im working oso.
u see. work until no life sia.
but nvm la. betta than staying at home n do nth.
hey pple. visit robinsons raffles city.
hav alot of sales nehz. LOLx.
advertising here =p
ok la. muz slp le.
one day will upload all the holida photos.

sometimes i hope someone is dere.
sometimes i hope im all alone.

... *faint*
seriously tired out man.
i guess i tink.
im realli sick tis time round.
but cant slp.
juz reach home not long ago frm work.
tml robinsons open oni until 8pm.
but im dere until 1030pm.
yeah. help out wif the setting up.
seriously learn alot tis few months.
kinda fun. but haven had enough.
deres alot more things to noe n learn.
everyday my mind is working.
everyday im tinkin.
so somehow i hav tot thru.
everyone is worth forgiving.
as long as he or she learn their mistakes.
but dat is they realli learn.
i feel like being by myself.
seriously all by myself.
tired le. muz finish chem project by today.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! =)

tis few days de mood no gd. alot of unlucky things happen. seriously. when one thing goes wrong. the rest of the things will juz follow.

lets tok abt the day daredevils went out. we exchange present. took neos. then mi n clar go cut hair. ok. abt my hair. nth much. juz a diff in my finge ba. it doesnt matter anyway. pple say i look more awake rit now. aft dat i went home. get everything ready n rush to my sis de hse. bcoz the nxt day nd to go goat farm. rushing to her hse. my shoe spoilt. its somehow new. but it juz spoil. yeah. so i drag it to my sis hse. imagine. frm yishun to redhill. taking mrt. fine. it isnt dat bad. bcoz its not realli obvious. then when im reaching redhill. i realise i didnt bring my punch card out. the nxt day aft the visit to the goat farm. i nd to go work directly. so no choice. call my mum to bring it to her work place the nxt day. n i will collect frm her. moreovermy shoe spoilt. nd to take frm ehr another shoe if not i cant go work. sianzz.

then ok. nvm. the nxt day went to goat farm. b4 dat went to MCYS (govt buliding). which is situated at thomson rd. ard dere. the place dat flood the day b4. the visit was ok. looked aft a boy 6 yrs old. v cute. sharudin. wif another RGS gal. lydia. yes. he was quite playful at first. kinda emo. he can laugh when he is playing. but when we leaving to goat farm he was so reluctant to go. aft a while he was ok. on the bus journey hes damn quiet. but when we reach the goat farm. he started to make noise again. yet when we r leaving the farm he bcome quiet again. reach mac he bcome noisy. going back to MCYS he bcame quiet again. the visit was not bad. i wanna go again. LOLx. but i dun like the goat milk =( not nice de.

yesterday was damn unlucky. actually got guzheng BBQ. but end up i nvr go. so on my home i was so tired i fell aslp. wake up oni when i reach the interchange. luckily it terminates at yishun. LOLx. then blur blur i feel like going home to slp. so eager to go home. when i reach my hse. i cant go in. guess wat. i realise i didnt bring my key. tot of going to some frens hse. but everybody not at home. sianz. hungry le. go eat my favourite myself. then tinkin wat i shld do nxt. so went to bugis find my mum AGAIN. to get the key. shopping ard. wearing my skol uniform. alone. at bugis. kinda weird ya. but my mood was like so down dat i cant feel any other thing. but when i reach home i nvr do my homework or anithing. juz slack ard. seriously no mood to do anithing lo.

yeah. today i didnt go for guzheng. dun ask mi y. no reason. was feeling rather down today. again. no reason. tink of alot of things. tink tink tink. mayb i cant forget. but so wat if i dun forget. i means nth. its juz the memories dat is holding mi back. i dun wanna go back. i juz wanna b happy again. how i feel. nobody will ever noe. towards guys towards relationship. wo fang qi le. lose hope. lose trust. aft the last one. i realise wo zhang da le. i change le. my tinkin esp. yet i dun like tis change. its supposed to b gd. it allows mi to c the world more clearly. but as i c more i feel more scary. i dun wan to fear tis world. i dun wan to believe wat i shld believe in rit now. yet i hav to face it.

i dun hate u.
but i dun like u.
bcoz u lied.

in my heart - no love, no hatred, no nth. only hurts.

WAHAHA. finally a new blogskin. its RED!! n its BLOOD!! so i love it. =p

went to gym aft guzheng today. LOLx. finally. so fun. so fun. i wanan go every week!! met some guys dere. n bcame frens. frens?? canot say frens la. juz help us lo. seems kind?? LOLx. yeah. anyway. learn new things today. frm now onwards muz drink more milk. hehe.

i dunno wat happen to mi. i shld juz forget forget n forget. whoever it is. juz forget. no point keeping in my heart n brain.
the very first one. the last time he ask mi is ard april. n then aft dat we hardly n c each other as usual. perhaps now he oredi got a new start?? i dunno. i dun wanna tink. sometime i juz feel like totally not tinkin abt him anymore. yeah. its oredi like 1 yr plus?? since sec 2. sometime i juz tink dat i tink too much lo. nvm. its alwaz liddat.
the second one. hmm. i dunno wat to say abt him. juz went out wif him dat day. kind of complicated la. but then i realli dunno lo.
the third one. wat else is dere to say?? LOLx. nth to say la.

watever it is. i juz wanna b happy. yeah. dats rit. reaching my goal n targets. dats the happiest thing dat can happen to mi now le. nth else. last time de mi. alwaz hoping for some miracle to appear. alwaz wan a wonderful complete love story of my own. mayb dats naive?? it isnt dat easy. mayb even up till the day i die i wun get it. so dun hav to tink anymore. my v own future is more impt. =p

wo wang le ni.

girl. dun ask mi relax. dun regret when u lose the one u shld realli hold on to. dats ur life. i shall not interfere. u regret telling mi. im fine wif it. i dun hav to b ur listener. i cant even b ur adviser. bcoz u dun listen to wat i say. so if u tink wat u r doing is rit. then go shead. dun blame mi for scolding u. if scolding u will make u wake up i will do it. if scolding cant help at all. i shall nto waste my breath. ok. fine. forget abt it.

wong. heres ur request. HAHA. LOLx. no la. actually wanna post for a long time le. no time oni =x plus lazy. not work then go out. busy. i haven started my holiday homework. oops. HAHA. ok la. canot say haven started. start le. but do v slow. one homework takes a few days. i cant juz sit down n do my homework lo. nvm. i will de. still got guzheng.

19th dec daredevils will hav christmas gift exchange. LOLx. kind of early?? bo bian. i weekends work lei. everyday not free. dats the oni day b4 christmas dat i will b free. actually supposed to cut hair on dat day de. sianz. now hav to find another day liao. hmm. oso dunno wat hairstyle to cut. anyway. i bought the present for the exchange liao. HAHA. fast rit. as i said. no time liao. tis whole week. but then v sianz la. dunno wat to buy. alwaz the same old thing. wan buy gd one will over the limit. yeah. anyway buy le. dunno nd to wrap anot. gonna buy for other fren oso?? mayb.

20th dec. HAHA. dat day will b fun n meaningful. going to goat farm wif orphans. WAHAHA. first time visiting goat farm. moreover going wif orphans. isnt dat meaningful n fun?? dats cool. dats cool. oni doing tis kinda thingy can make mi happy. =p

life is liddat la. got sad things. got happy things. nowadays still got cry la. but then no big deal la. is oredi a habit?? LOLx. cry oni ma. who nvr cry b4?? but i will remain strong. i hav to say i realli different frm last time de lo. now come to tink of it. watever i do last time seem so foolish. i shall learn frm it. nxt time dun do it le. anyway. aft crying im still the happy mi. dun c mi siao siao hor. actually inside i feel like crying. can even cry for frens wor. tis one im not bluffing. i realli did cry for frens. not say quarrel or wat.

i wan to save money. buy alot of things nehz. i still tinkin. driving licence first?? or jap cert first?? LOLx. i dun tink i hav the time to take both at the same time lo. so i nd to choose which one first. which one more impt. hmm. anyway. i tink when i grow up le i nd to hav precious moments collection. HAHA. =p jiayou jiayou. i can do it de.

im finding blogskin lo. sianz,. actually found it le. aiya. oso dunno wats the prob la.

i shall b kind. i dun hate u. yet deres no reason for mi to like or love u.