confession of the day

im sorie that i didnt do my job well enough.
i promise that the same thing wont happen again.
i will do my job well.

blaming myself for not being able to keep my mouth shut.
im sorie that i once let it out. or probably a few times.
i know i lost the trust you have once given to me.
maybe sometimes its better to know nothing at all.
though i wish i could always be the one.
im disappointed if you are never gonna tell me.
but i have no right to know in the first place.

im emotionally unstable. im attitude. im rude.
im sorie and please forgive me.
i know i need to learn to control myself.

i know you are suffering as well.
i know you are more hurt than i do.
i know among us all you are the one who deserve our comfort.
i know the way i treat you is wrong.
i dont mean to treat you the way i do.
but have you seriously think of me?? how i actually feel.
how i feel after all that has happened.
how i feel when things remain as bad as it is.
i dont know what i should do.
smiling at him is wrong. frowning at him is wrong too.
yet i cant treat that i dont know him at all.
i cant treat that he doesnt exist.
what am i supposed to do?
i realli do not know.

a dream spoils the day.
why will i even dream of that??
a dream that will NEVER come true.
an unforgettable dream.
just like you to me.
always there. forever.